Wedding drama update... rageful angry

April 26, 2012

Hi everyone,

I am rageful angry right now and need to vent. Sorry in advance for my poor

attempt to mask my swear words.

I was driving to work this morning and got a call from my dad who told me that

my nada has decided to come to my wedding. Really? This is news to me...last I

heard from my nada was last night when she sent me a nasty text message and

voice mail. I got through one line of the text before I realized it was cruel

and deleted that as well as the voice mail. How in the h*ll has she decided to

come to the wedding when she is still attacking the f-ing bride and groom!?!?!

My dad then proceeds to tell me that even though I reserved rooms for my family

in the moderately priced hotel room where my fiance and I are staying (I

requested that their rooms be far away from ours), my nada prefers to stay at

the f*ing four seasons in the next town!!! Now its all coming together for

me... " now that I know their is an f-ing 5 star hotel in this beautiful beachside

town, of course I will go...who cares if I am continuing to verbally abuse and

scar the bride and groom! " I can't f-ing believe this. She is going to show up

at my wedding without making any real effort to work things out with me and I am

too f-ing weak to tell her she can't come! My dad, who means well granted, is

telling me that I should try to be gratious to her and, get this, " go out of my

way " to make her feel good (ON MY F-ING WEDDING DAY!!!!!) so that she does not

act up. Sure, no f-ing problem!!!!!

Needless to say, I was screaming by the time I got to work and had to pull

myself together quickly before walking in the door. Now I am sitting here with

all this rage and don't know what to do with it. I've been trying to set

boundaries and trying to be congruent with my emotions and actions and working

really freaking hard at all of this in therapy and every single day and she can

still destroy me without even lifting a finger. I feel so hopeless that I am

ever going to get myself out of this mess. I feel so weak right

now...ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! I wish I had soundproof walls so I could actually scream

right now.

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