Re: Re: Why do narcissists/ borderline snoop?

[Guest guest]

Great thread. I think there are a lot of reasons. I think my nada did it at

least partially so that she felt she had something to offer. If she wasn't

telling me gossip about her friends kids or the people at church, she would

have nothing to say. And she felt that knowing that stuff gave her power to

manipulate me - if I wanted the dirt, I had to speak with her. I quickly

discovered that not wanting her " dirt " as she called it gave me back my

power.

She did something else too - she would use other people's hardships to her

advantage. For instance, I'm sorry I failed at doing X thing I was supposed

to do. I couldn't do it because my friend's cousin's niece's baby's

babysitter had to be taken to the mental hospital with dehydration (or

insert other weird happening that had nothing to do with her). Then insert

nada crying and having a public meltdown over the babysitter she had

probably never even met. So in other words, she used other people's

hardships as an excuse. She also enjoyed them. My T says the fact that she

enjoyed other people's heartache means she is a sociopath.

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> Milliicent I'm totally with you on the f***ng roof! I hate platitudes,

> they so rarely make the recipient feel any better!

>

> Deanne I do appreciate thinking about the associations that come up on

> this topic.

>

> Ash, Right on! I absolutely feel this way.

>

> Composing a message won't let me see any emails so please forgive me. but

> The poetic referencer I appreciated all your thoughtful comments.

>

> And you had me LOL. You are a crackup!

>

> I have had it on accepting any part of my upbringing as any of my doing

> and I am old enough and have experienced enough to say Hell No, at least

> for me, to the suggestion. For the last 3 years that goes for God too.

> Annies right it's about what helps us individually and respecting each

> other.

> BTW I read recently that another prespectiive on how BPDs are created is

> by separating in the womb that caused a perceived trauma wound therefore

> setting up BPD. Go figure.

> Sue

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