NPD Nada and threats of elder abuse... ?!?!?!? WTH

[Guest guest]

OK - now she has me freaked out!

I may or may not have mentioned that I moved to Nada's side a year ago when

her health was getting bad. This was a mistake to everybody I know but

although it has been my personal year from hell I have finally learned what

is exactly wrong with Nada and myself. All these YEARS I have been seeking

help from alanon thinking the problem was mere alcoholism. It went FAR

deeper than that!

I am now in therapy and learning daily about what the underlying problem

is/was and although this has been the hardest year of my life I think I am

finally starting to heal as I understand the issues. finally!

So, the issue.

Nada is NUTS!! If I, or my stepdad, set a single boundary or say no in any

way to her behavior she is threating " elder abuse " . Since I came here I do

all the grocery shopping (and pay for it), cooking, cleaning, laundry,

vacuuming, pet care and bathroom duty. (Nada had a heart attack and can do

very little, stepdad is able but has been trained to be useless for the last

40 years). I am unemployed at the moment but am looking actively for a job

and to move. In the meantime I am kind of stuck here.

So, a couple of days ago she stopped by a store and got some pasta, some

spices and 5 cans of honey roasted peanuts. I found said nuts, opened a can,

ate about a handful and closed it up. Nada found the can and went OFF that I

would open a can of peanuts without asking permission first. I have been

discussing boundaries with T and felt this was an innocuous enough issue to

flex a few and responded with " common Ma, its just peanuts. food! " I don't

require that you ask permission to eat all the food I buy! " well this set

her off huge! She refused to eat the dinner I cooked and microwaved a bowl

of weightwatcher's soup she had purchased the ingredients for and made. Went

off screaming that she wants ME OUT!!! And will do whatever is necessary to

get me out and went to bed. PS, Nada has been throwing me out since I was 12

(but sadly I have always come back for more.)

When she got up this AM her sugar was off as she is diabetic too, and she

did not eat enough to counter the insulin last night. My fault.. Big scream

about how I screwed up her levels. Arg!

Her next declaration was how she is going to inform her doctors about how

myself and dear stepdad abuse her! How she is going to blow the whistle on

us for elder abuse! (she is 65 btw).

This one has me freaked out as she can be quite eloquent and charming when

she wants to be. Her 26 doctors do not know Stepdad and myself and I have

seen her be quite convincing in the face of a lie in the past. (PS. nobody

here as ever abused her in ANY way.. she interprets " NO " as abuse!)

I really don't need to be hauled off in cuffs over opening a CAN OF PEANUTS!

Please note I am actively looking for a job but really cannot move out of

here until I get one..

ARGH!!!

M-

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