Confidence Shaken - UTBM Book...In Progress

[Guest guest]

The Understanding the Borderline Mother book is here and what ya'll have said so

far is true:

* the book is outdated in its description of how borderlines are " made "

* is does outline and validate what we've been through

The fact that it is outdated does bother me - a lot. As the parent of a

borderline, the book has thrown me, though somewhat temporarily I hope, into one

of those " what have I done to my child to make her like this " kind of guilt

diatribe in my mind. I've been through the thoughts of " maybe I am borderline,

after all, the book says if raised by one I could be one and my child is one so

the evidence is damming. " And of course I've gone through that agonizing line of

thought of questioning myself, did I do anything that might have caused it, etc.

all the way to remembering how she was as a newborn (you should see her face in

her newborn photo, she's obviously angry and agitated and she's a breastfed

c-section) and always even when very young very different and difficult and how

I never did any of the things listed in the book that " creates " borderline in a

child...to finally settling down somewhat realizing that if I could go through

all these thoughts, then by definition I probably aren't borderline. Plus my

daughter's father's issues have played into this too. He probably is borderline,

along with being a narcissist, OCD, and have Disassociative Identity Disorder.

Compared to nada, he was practically a member of her family.

But after all, I got the book to try and get rid of even more of my fleas

(borderlines don't do that) and try to really get rid of as much as possible.

But I thought I should let ya'll know what I was going through. I expected the

book to help me with my nada and hopefully it will. It is nice to see in print

once again and so clearly that indeed I was the child of a borderline witch with

a strong narcissitic side and a touch of the queen. But right now I'd do

anything to see something in print that would help me to realize that the mental

health state of science now recognizes that there is a genetic component. I know

I've seen it but right now it just seems like it's not there.

I have to say though, my [almost adult] child is not a narcissist - as much as a

borderline teens can not be narcissists - and that's a comfort. And though she,

like most borderlines, has issues with love, she's always been very clear about

knowing that I love her - and that she feels no one else really does but me.

Thanks for listening. I feel better already.

Flowers

[Guest guest]

Hi flowers

I am so sorry for what you ate going through. I read a book by a Carnegie

granddaughter , a tale of three islands, I believe is the title. Her mother was

probably bpd and mental

Illness runs thru the family. She writes about her experiences w her daughter

who so is diagnosed bpd. It might help you to read about her coming to terms w

her daughters illness. Big hug

Sr

Sent from my iPhon

[Guest guest]

Hi flowers

I am so sorry for what you ate going through. I read a book by a Carnegie

granddaughter , a tale of three islands, I believe is the title. Her mother was

probably bpd and mental

Illness runs thru the family. She writes about her experiences w her daughter

who so is diagnosed bpd. It might help you to read about her coming to terms w

her daughters illness. Big hug

Sr

Sent from my iPhon

[Guest guest]

Hi flowers

I am so sorry for what you ate going through. I read a book by a Carnegie

granddaughter , a tale of three islands, I believe is the title. Her mother was

probably bpd and mental

Illness runs thru the family. She writes about her experiences w her daughter

who so is diagnosed bpd. It might help you to read about her coming to terms w

her daughters illness. Big hug

Sr

Sent from my iPhon

[Guest guest]

Wow, I have heard of that book and had it on my " to read " list and then forgot

about it, but your post is making me want to go get it.

-Annie

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi flowers

> > > I am so sorry for what you ate going through. I read a book by a Carnegie

> > > granddaughter , a tale of three islands, I believe is the title. Her

> > mother

> > > was probably bpd and mental

> > > Illness runs thru the family. She writes about her experiences w her

> > > daughter who so is diagnosed bpd. It might help you to read about her

> > > coming to terms w her daughters illness. Big hug

> > > Sr

> > > Sent from my iPhon

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi sunspot,

I just wanted to clarify that the book, by Millicent someone, A Tale of Three

Islands, is not exclusively about her daughters BPD, but her whole experience

growing up. Just don't want you to be " dissapointed " if/when you get it.

Best

SR