Contemplating going totally NC for life...stomach in knot

[Guest guest]

Hi, folks!

I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada. I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again. Seriously. It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. " I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her. I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now. The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again! However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday.

Puleeze! Ick. I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her family: " You can't make it without us. You'll fail in life without

us. You'll be destitute without us. " Well, from what I've seen over the

decades, and what I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so

bad. LOL. " Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. " I'm not

dependent on her for anything. I don't want to be responsible for her or her

actions, ever again. I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take

care of her again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a

nursing home, or having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house

someday. I don't want to deal with her junk anymore. Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder

too. Been there, went through

h-ll cleaning up after her. Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her. I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again. The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened. On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with! If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL. They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh. There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

[Guest guest]

If permanent NC is what you need to heal and get on with YOUR life, then do it.

I have, and so have others on this board, and we will be here for you as you go

through the emotional process.

I didn't do anything legally to go NC, just broke off contact.

It's hard, and if/when people who aren't KOs find out or harass you to find out,

they will judge you. You have to know that you have done it to protect yourself

against an abusive, cruel, mentally ill person.

For my part, out of common decency, if my nada needed care in her later years, I

would handle paperwork, make sure she was put in a home, etc., might even do

what I could to financially assist with that (although probably not much) if it

was necessary, but I would still refuse to have any contact with her. I might

even just turn to a social worker and tell them about my childhood and say " I

cannot care for her. I have too much anger for the abuse I suffered in my

childhood. I am not an appropriate caregiver. "

It's kind of funny that people would think that a child who had been abused by a

parent--emotionally, physically, sexually, whatever--would be an appropriate

caregiver for them in their old age. Like we somehow stop being hurt? Ug.

So if you need to go NC to help with your healing, then do it. Do what's right

for you and no one else. Because no one else is going to do what's right for

you. Only you can.

>

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada. I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again. Seriously. It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. " I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her. I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now. The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again! However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday.

Puleeze! Ick. I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her family: " You can't make it without us. You'll fail in life without

us. You'll be destitute without us. " Well, from what I've seen over the

decades, and what I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so

bad. LOL. " Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. " I'm not

dependent on her for anything. I don't want to be responsible for her or her

actions, ever again. I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take

care of her again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a

nursing home, or having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house

someday. I don't want to deal with her junk anymore. Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder

too. Been there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her. Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her. I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again. The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened. On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with! If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL. They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh. There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

[Guest guest]

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word.

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing reality. You do

have every right to feel this way. Your experiences are exactly mine. Your

feelings the same. You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know. Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada. He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him. Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo! Stick to your guns. Do what is healthy for you and start to heal. Big

internet hug for you.

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada. I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again. Seriously. It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. " I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her. I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now. The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again! However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday.

Puleeze! Ick. I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her family: " You can't make it without us. You'll fail in life without

us. You'll be destitute without us. " Well, from what I've seen over the

decades, and what I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so

bad. LOL. " Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. " I'm not

dependent on her for anything. I don't want to be responsible for her or her

actions, ever again. I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take

care of her again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a

nursing home, or having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house

someday. I don't want to deal with her junk anymore. Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder

too. Been there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her. Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her. I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again. The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened. On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with! If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL. They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh. There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

[Guest guest]

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word.

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing reality. You do

have every right to feel this way. Your experiences are exactly mine. Your

feelings the same. You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know. Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada. He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him. Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo! Stick to your guns. Do what is healthy for you and start to heal. Big

internet hug for you.

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada. I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again. Seriously. It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. " I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her. I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now. The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again! However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday.

Puleeze! Ick. I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her family: " You can't make it without us. You'll fail in life without

us. You'll be destitute without us. " Well, from what I've seen over the

decades, and what I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so

bad. LOL. " Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. " I'm not

dependent on her for anything. I don't want to be responsible for her or her

actions, ever again. I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take

care of her again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a

nursing home, or having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house

someday. I don't want to deal with her junk anymore. Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder

too. Been there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her. Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her. I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again. The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened. On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with! If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL. They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh. There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

[Guest guest]

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word.

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing reality. You do

have every right to feel this way. Your experiences are exactly mine. Your

feelings the same. You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know. Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada. He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him. Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo! Stick to your guns. Do what is healthy for you and start to heal. Big

internet hug for you.

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada. I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again. Seriously. It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. " I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her. I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now. The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again! However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday.

Puleeze! Ick. I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her family: " You can't make it without us. You'll fail in life without

us. You'll be destitute without us. " Well, from what I've seen over the

decades, and what I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so

bad. LOL. " Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. " I'm not

dependent on her for anything. I don't want to be responsible for her or her

actions, ever again. I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take

care of her again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a

nursing home, or having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house

someday. I don't want to deal with her junk anymore. Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder

too. Been there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her. Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her. I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again. The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened. On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with! If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL. They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh. There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks a BUNCH for the support!  I saw my T today, and we discussed this. 

Whew!  That's always a help.  I want to reiterate how much I appreciate the

support here!!! :-)  And, cherylj162, I'm so sorry you are crying, and I'm sorry

if my post was perhaps too " triggering " .   I remember when I started reading

about BPD and reading the posts here, and I thought: " How did they know?  Their

words speak of my experiences! "   I hope any tears you shed help you in your

healing. Before I went to see my T, I woke up sobbing.  Wasn't sure why at the

time.  Better now.  Nada already has everything in place for her well-being,

housing, healthcare and safety, so that's already  (whew!) off my shoulders and

a done deal. Yay!  T reinforced that I NEVER have to put up with being abused,

and that I can always stay away, as nada's already got everything she needs.  

It took me a while to post much on here.  As no one is obligated to. I kinda

just read

books, saw T, read posts now and then.  Forgive me if I have gone on too long. 

I wish you much healing, safety, and peace, and self-love.   Big Internet Hugs

to you, too!  :-)  (Thanks a bunch to you too, afldancer!!!) :-)   I wish

everyone a good week. 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, May 7, 2012 12:32 AM

Subject: Re: Contemplating going totally NC for

life...stomach in knot

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word. 

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing  reality.  You do

have every right to feel this way.  Your experiences are exactly mine.  Your

feelings the same.  You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know.  Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada.  He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him.  Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo!  Stick to your guns.  Do what is healthy for you and start to heal.  Big

internet hug for you. 

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada.  I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again.  Seriously.  It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. "   I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her.  I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now.  The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again!  However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday. 

Puleeze!  Ick.  I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her

family: " You can't make it without us.  You'll fail in life without us.  You'll

be destitute without us. "   Well, from what I've seen over the decades, and what

I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so bad. LOL. 

" Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. "   I'm not dependent on

her for anything.  I don't want to be responsible for her or her actions, ever

again.  I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take care of her

again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a nursing home, or

having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house someday.  I

don't want to deal with her junk anymore.  Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder too.  Been

there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her.  Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her.  I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again.  The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened.  On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with!  If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL.  They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh.  There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all

counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

------------------------------------

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write

@.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

[Guest guest]

Thanks a BUNCH for the support!  I saw my T today, and we discussed this. 

Whew!  That's always a help.  I want to reiterate how much I appreciate the

support here!!! :-)  And, cherylj162, I'm so sorry you are crying, and I'm sorry

if my post was perhaps too " triggering " .   I remember when I started reading

about BPD and reading the posts here, and I thought: " How did they know?  Their

words speak of my experiences! "   I hope any tears you shed help you in your

healing. Before I went to see my T, I woke up sobbing.  Wasn't sure why at the

time.  Better now.  Nada already has everything in place for her well-being,

housing, healthcare and safety, so that's already  (whew!) off my shoulders and

a done deal. Yay!  T reinforced that I NEVER have to put up with being abused,

and that I can always stay away, as nada's already got everything she needs.  

It took me a while to post much on here.  As no one is obligated to. I kinda

just read

books, saw T, read posts now and then.  Forgive me if I have gone on too long. 

I wish you much healing, safety, and peace, and self-love.   Big Internet Hugs

to you, too!  :-)  (Thanks a bunch to you too, afldancer!!!) :-)   I wish

everyone a good week. 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, May 7, 2012 12:32 AM

Subject: Re: Contemplating going totally NC for

life...stomach in knot

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word. 

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing  reality.  You do

have every right to feel this way.  Your experiences are exactly mine.  Your

feelings the same.  You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know.  Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada.  He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him.  Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo!  Stick to your guns.  Do what is healthy for you and start to heal.  Big

internet hug for you. 

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada.  I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again.  Seriously.  It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. "   I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her.  I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now.  The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again!  However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday. 

Puleeze!  Ick.  I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her

family: " You can't make it without us.  You'll fail in life without us.  You'll

be destitute without us. "   Well, from what I've seen over the decades, and what

I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so bad. LOL. 

" Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. "   I'm not dependent on

her for anything.  I don't want to be responsible for her or her actions, ever

again.  I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take care of her

again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a nursing home, or

having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house someday.  I

don't want to deal with her junk anymore.  Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder too.  Been

there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her.  Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her.  I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again.  The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened.  On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with!  If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL.  They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh.  There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all

counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

------------------------------------

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write

@.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

[Guest guest]

Thanks a BUNCH for the support!  I saw my T today, and we discussed this. 

Whew!  That's always a help.  I want to reiterate how much I appreciate the

support here!!! :-)  And, cherylj162, I'm so sorry you are crying, and I'm sorry

if my post was perhaps too " triggering " .   I remember when I started reading

about BPD and reading the posts here, and I thought: " How did they know?  Their

words speak of my experiences! "   I hope any tears you shed help you in your

healing. Before I went to see my T, I woke up sobbing.  Wasn't sure why at the

time.  Better now.  Nada already has everything in place for her well-being,

housing, healthcare and safety, so that's already  (whew!) off my shoulders and

a done deal. Yay!  T reinforced that I NEVER have to put up with being abused,

and that I can always stay away, as nada's already got everything she needs.  

It took me a while to post much on here.  As no one is obligated to. I kinda

just read

books, saw T, read posts now and then.  Forgive me if I have gone on too long. 

I wish you much healing, safety, and peace, and self-love.   Big Internet Hugs

to you, too!  :-)  (Thanks a bunch to you too, afldancer!!!) :-)   I wish

everyone a good week. 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, May 7, 2012 12:32 AM

Subject: Re: Contemplating going totally NC for

life...stomach in knot

I am reading this and wondering how you know what is in my head, word for word. 

I am crying, and feel that tightness in my head with facing  reality.  You do

have every right to feel this way.  Your experiences are exactly mine.  Your

feelings the same.  You need control, not her.

The lies, the accusations, the medical, sexual stuff . . . manipulations,

violence, financial . . you know.  Of course you know.

My Dad is still with my nada.  He is enabling her again, despite everything we

have tried to help him.  Long story, I will post someday when I am strong

enough.

Bravo!  Stick to your guns.  Do what is healthy for you and start to heal.  Big

internet hug for you. 

> Hi, folks!

>

> I currently have POA and DPAHC for nada.  I prefer, after having been through

H-ll times ten to the fifth power with her, to never have anything to do with

her again.  Seriously.  It's my understanding, that, according to the laws of my

state all I would have to do would be to send her a letter (witnessed/notarized)

that I no longer agree to serve as her " agent. "   I might even go to the probate

court to make sure that I will be in no way responsible for her, and that should

she become incompetent, the court will have to assign a guardian and/or

conservator for her.  I don't know why I feel my veins turn to ice water when I

contemplate just completely ending the relationship now.  The most heavenly

thought in the world is to NEVER have to see her again!  However, I guess part

of me is terrified that - for whatever reason - I might " need " her someday. 

Puleeze!  Ick.  I suspect that might be a result of conditioned programming from

nada and her

family: " You can't make it without us.  You'll fail in life without us.  You'll

be destitute without us. "   Well, from what I've seen over the decades, and what

I've put up with from her already, maybe destitution ain't so bad. LOL. 

" Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. "   I'm not dependent on

her for anything.  I don't want to be responsible for her or her actions, ever

again.  I feel sick and frozen at the thought of having to take care of her

again, whether it's another move to an assisted living or in a nursing home, or

having to manage her finances or take care of or sell her house someday.  I

don't want to deal with her junk anymore.  Oh, yeah, she's a hoarder too.  Been

there, went through

> h-ll cleaning up after her.  Maybe I should just get it over with, do what I

have to do to " divorce " her, so to speak, and forget about her.  I would, as far

as I know, never be required to see her again.  The thought of having to look

after her again, manage her affairs (again), deal with her faked medical

" emergencies " with trips to the hospital, being responsible for her in any way -

makes me feel drained and frightened, and sickened.  On an amusing note, if she

started searching for someone else to serve as her POA- I don't know of anyone

who would realize the responsibilities that come with it, and what H-LL on earth

she can be to deal with!  If someone were to agree to be her POA, they wouldn't

be dealing with some poor, sweet, old lady whose evil, uncaring daughter has

abandoned her! LOL.  They'd be dealing with Queen of H-ll on Wheels! Sorry, I

just have to laugh.  There's a strong urge in me just to find a way to legally,

and on all

counts, WALK AWAY and make sure she can never hurt me again.

>

------------------------------------

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