Opening the curtain on the wizard

[Guest guest]

This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank you

to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me and so

many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this, that my

feelings and experiences are shared.

I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this beautiful post! This made my day And seeing others

being able to move past the past gives me hope for myself. Big kudos to

you!

> **

>

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you.

> Thank you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge

> help to me and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going

> through this, that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

> Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

> wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

> shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic

> tricks and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can

> see them for what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I

> have removed the buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the

> trash. The FOG has been lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of

> increasingly distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting

> with her ending up Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans

> for my big 40th birthday party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't

> working out the way she wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her

> therapist office the week before Christmas so she could falsely accuse my

> DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son. After having our son immediately

> examined by his pediatrician and her finding him happy, healthy and well

> adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly LC with her in an email

> and informed her that she can only communicate with me by email or in a

> joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted forced her

> into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email option

> has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance in

> place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

> validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals

> or changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it

> too, so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been

> able to lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of

> the closet in my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

> if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

> best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but

> she's not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore,

> it's about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and

> I. Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get

> close enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift

> it. You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have

> to cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every

> time the dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway

> unannounced. Don't dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt

> that NADA/FADA and society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on

> a vacation or just stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip

> those buttons out that NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the

> toilet. You didn't cause the sickness, you aren't to blame for anything,

> you don't deserve the abuse and you can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let

> the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

> get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day.

> This enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your

> feelings, we validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will

> all blow in one mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

> have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone

> else to do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this beautiful post! This made my day And seeing others

being able to move past the past gives me hope for myself. Big kudos to

you!

> **

>

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you.

> Thank you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge

> help to me and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going

> through this, that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

> Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

> wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

> shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic

> tricks and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can

> see them for what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I

> have removed the buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the

> trash. The FOG has been lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of

> increasingly distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting

> with her ending up Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans

> for my big 40th birthday party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't

> working out the way she wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her

> therapist office the week before Christmas so she could falsely accuse my

> DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son. After having our son immediately

> examined by his pediatrician and her finding him happy, healthy and well

> adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly LC with her in an email

> and informed her that she can only communicate with me by email or in a

> joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted forced her

> into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email option

> has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance in

> place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

> validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals

> or changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it

> too, so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been

> able to lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of

> the closet in my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

> if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

> best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but

> she's not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore,

> it's about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and

> I. Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get

> close enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift

> it. You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have

> to cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every

> time the dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway

> unannounced. Don't dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt

> that NADA/FADA and society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on

> a vacation or just stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip

> those buttons out that NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the

> toilet. You didn't cause the sickness, you aren't to blame for anything,

> you don't deserve the abuse and you can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let

> the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

> get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day.

> This enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your

> feelings, we validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will

> all blow in one mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

> have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone

> else to do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree: Fernfiddler, your post is so very encouraging and inspiring for your

fellow KOs (adult Kids Of bpd parents) particularly those whose borderline pd

mothers (or fathers) are attempting to cause real harm to you / your family such

as making claims of child abuse against you.

That took a lot of courage for you to stand up and protect yourself, your

husband and your kids from your nada.

Unfortunately, in some cases (many cases?) it truly does take extreme behaviors

that clearly indicate that the person with bpd has become dangerous to herself

(suicide attempts) or to others (violent or threatening behaviors toward

neighbors, the doctor, the police, etc.) before any real help can be had.

Although the Baker Act or Law is specific to Florida (if I understand correctly)

its principles are in effect in other states, so it has become a slang term for

" involuntary commitment. " My nada was " Baker Acted " by the police in her state,

due to her being beligerent with them; the local police took my nada in for an

involuntary psychiatric observation and evaluation in the wee hours one morning.

I am so happy for you that you are now past the point where your nada can use

FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) to intimidate you or manipulate you, and yet you

are able to maintain some contact with her out of sheer human compassion with

carefully delineated and firmly-enforced boundaries (that is a really wonderful

idea to use your therapist as a witness for any in-person communications. That

is awesome!)

You GO, Mama Bear!!

-Annie

>

> Thank you for this beautiful post! This made my day And seeing others

> being able to move past the past gives me hope for myself. Big kudos to

> you!

>

[Guest guest]

I agree: Fernfiddler, your post is so very encouraging and inspiring for your

fellow KOs (adult Kids Of bpd parents) particularly those whose borderline pd

mothers (or fathers) are attempting to cause real harm to you / your family such

as making claims of child abuse against you.

That took a lot of courage for you to stand up and protect yourself, your

husband and your kids from your nada.

Unfortunately, in some cases (many cases?) it truly does take extreme behaviors

that clearly indicate that the person with bpd has become dangerous to herself

(suicide attempts) or to others (violent or threatening behaviors toward

neighbors, the doctor, the police, etc.) before any real help can be had.

Although the Baker Act or Law is specific to Florida (if I understand correctly)

its principles are in effect in other states, so it has become a slang term for

" involuntary commitment. " My nada was " Baker Acted " by the police in her state,

due to her being beligerent with them; the local police took my nada in for an

involuntary psychiatric observation and evaluation in the wee hours one morning.

I am so happy for you that you are now past the point where your nada can use

FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) to intimidate you or manipulate you, and yet you

are able to maintain some contact with her out of sheer human compassion with

carefully delineated and firmly-enforced boundaries (that is a really wonderful

idea to use your therapist as a witness for any in-person communications. That

is awesome!)

You GO, Mama Bear!!

-Annie

>

> Thank you for this beautiful post! This made my day And seeing others

> being able to move past the past gives me hope for myself. Big kudos to

> you!

>

[Guest guest]

I agree: Fernfiddler, your post is so very encouraging and inspiring for your

fellow KOs (adult Kids Of bpd parents) particularly those whose borderline pd

mothers (or fathers) are attempting to cause real harm to you / your family such

as making claims of child abuse against you.

That took a lot of courage for you to stand up and protect yourself, your

husband and your kids from your nada.

Unfortunately, in some cases (many cases?) it truly does take extreme behaviors

that clearly indicate that the person with bpd has become dangerous to herself

(suicide attempts) or to others (violent or threatening behaviors toward

neighbors, the doctor, the police, etc.) before any real help can be had.

Although the Baker Act or Law is specific to Florida (if I understand correctly)

its principles are in effect in other states, so it has become a slang term for

" involuntary commitment. " My nada was " Baker Acted " by the police in her state,

due to her being beligerent with them; the local police took my nada in for an

involuntary psychiatric observation and evaluation in the wee hours one morning.

I am so happy for you that you are now past the point where your nada can use

FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) to intimidate you or manipulate you, and yet you

are able to maintain some contact with her out of sheer human compassion with

carefully delineated and firmly-enforced boundaries (that is a really wonderful

idea to use your therapist as a witness for any in-person communications. That

is awesome!)

You GO, Mama Bear!!

-Annie

>

> Thank you for this beautiful post! This made my day And seeing others

> being able to move past the past gives me hope for myself. Big kudos to

> you!

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations!

I am happy to hear you took it a step further. I opened the curtain on the

wizard also with my MIL and I can share the same feeling after I read the same

book and posting here!

Enjoy your beautiful Family!

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations!

I am happy to hear you took it a step further. I opened the curtain on the

wizard also with my MIL and I can share the same feeling after I read the same

book and posting here!

Enjoy your beautiful Family!

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

[Guest guest]

When I read about some of the crap that some of the nadas that belong to my

fellow KO's, I am astonished. I realize that as bad as my own nada has been, I

could have had it so much worse. At the same time, I feel like it would be SO

much easier to cut her out of my life, if she was this bad. The fact that you

have the amount of contact with your nada that you do is compassionate on your

part to say the very least. She has obviously gone around the bend, truely. I'm

glad someone explained the Baker Acted term, I had not heard of that one yet.

C

[Guest guest]

When I read about some of the crap that some of the nadas that belong to my

fellow KO's, I am astonished. I realize that as bad as my own nada has been, I

could have had it so much worse. At the same time, I feel like it would be SO

much easier to cut her out of my life, if she was this bad. The fact that you

have the amount of contact with your nada that you do is compassionate on your

part to say the very least. She has obviously gone around the bend, truely. I'm

glad someone explained the Baker Acted term, I had not heard of that one yet.

C

[Guest guest]

When I read about some of the crap that some of the nadas that belong to my

fellow KO's, I am astonished. I realize that as bad as my own nada has been, I

could have had it so much worse. At the same time, I feel like it would be SO

much easier to cut her out of my life, if she was this bad. The fact that you

have the amount of contact with your nada that you do is compassionate on your

part to say the very least. She has obviously gone around the bend, truely. I'm

glad someone explained the Baker Acted term, I had not heard of that one yet.

C

[Guest guest]

Amen! Isn't it something how much the switch is flipped when they start their

nonsense on our own children? That's what did it for me, and I was like (in the

words of Will in " I, Robot " ) " Hell no! " My parents have

passively-aggressively accused my husband and I of abusing our children, as

well, and even went so far as to hire a lawyer to try to assert " grandparent

rights " . We, in turn, hired our own lawyer and offered the legal version of a

bitch-slap. Haven't heard a thing in return, and it's been over two weeks.

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

[Guest guest]

Amen! Isn't it something how much the switch is flipped when they start their

nonsense on our own children? That's what did it for me, and I was like (in the

words of Will in " I, Robot " ) " Hell no! " My parents have

passively-aggressively accused my husband and I of abusing our children, as

well, and even went so far as to hire a lawyer to try to assert " grandparent

rights " . We, in turn, hired our own lawyer and offered the legal version of a

bitch-slap. Haven't heard a thing in return, and it's been over two weeks.

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

[Guest guest]

Amen! Isn't it something how much the switch is flipped when they start their

nonsense on our own children? That's what did it for me, and I was like (in the

words of Will in " I, Robot " ) " Hell no! " My parents have

passively-aggressively accused my husband and I of abusing our children, as

well, and even went so far as to hire a lawyer to try to assert " grandparent

rights " . We, in turn, hired our own lawyer and offered the legal version of a

bitch-slap. Haven't heard a thing in return, and it's been over two weeks.

>

> This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

>

> I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

>

> This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

>

> NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore if

she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my best

to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's not

going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

>

> I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

>

> To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

>

> Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see, get

it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

>

> I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You have

all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to do

the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

>

[Guest guest]

That is awesome! Virtual high-five from me!

You GO, Grrrrl!

-Annie

>

> Amen! Isn't it something how much the switch is flipped when they start their

nonsense on our own children? That's what did it for me, and I was like (in the

words of Will in " I, Robot " ) " Hell no! " My parents have

passively-aggressively accused my husband and I of abusing our children, as

well, and even went so far as to hire a lawyer to try to assert " grandparent

rights " . We, in turn, hired our own lawyer and offered the legal version of a

bitch-slap. Haven't heard a thing in return, and it's been over two weeks.

[Guest guest]

BPDs mirror their actions on you, my MIL does it to me all the time, be careful,

get her psychiatric help or bring it up in court or whatever if she wants to

take it that far. Make sure to find a therapist that is familiar with BPD. You

should not be going through this!

I read many stories of MILs or grandparents in your case, with this problem or

similar issues doing stuff like that and them being the ones abusing the kids.

Never leave your kids unattended with them!

> >

> > This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

> >

> > I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

> >

> > This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

> >

> > NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's

not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

> >

> > I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

> >

> > To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

> >

> > Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

> >

> > I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to

do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

BPDs mirror their actions on you, my MIL does it to me all the time, be careful,

get her psychiatric help or bring it up in court or whatever if she wants to

take it that far. Make sure to find a therapist that is familiar with BPD. You

should not be going through this!

I read many stories of MILs or grandparents in your case, with this problem or

similar issues doing stuff like that and them being the ones abusing the kids.

Never leave your kids unattended with them!

> >

> > This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

> >

> > I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

> >

> > This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

> >

> > NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's

not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

> >

> > I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

> >

> > To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

> >

> > Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

> >

> > I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to

do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

BPDs mirror their actions on you, my MIL does it to me all the time, be careful,

get her psychiatric help or bring it up in court or whatever if she wants to

take it that far. Make sure to find a therapist that is familiar with BPD. You

should not be going through this!

I read many stories of MILs or grandparents in your case, with this problem or

similar issues doing stuff like that and them being the ones abusing the kids.

Never leave your kids unattended with them!

> >

> > This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank

you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to me

and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

> >

> > I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

> >

> > This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of increasingly

distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with her ending up

Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big 40th birthday

party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the way she

wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week before

Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old son.

After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her finding

him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went strictly

LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate with me

by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting Baker Acted

forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far. The email

option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the distance

in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is there to

validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA backpedals or

changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist heard it too,

so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have been able to

lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of the closet in

my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

> >

> > NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's

not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

> >

> > I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore, it's

about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

> >

> > To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift it.

You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

> >

> > Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

> >

> > I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to

do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Writermanque,

WOO HOO. The idea that any grandparent thinks that they can invoke a " right " to

see their grandchildren is laughable. I have a close friend that just ended up

with custody of her two grandchildren from her meth addicted daughter and SIL.

Trust me, this took YEARS and my friend hoped that these childrens mother would

pull her sh!t together and the courts gave her as many opportunities and help as

it could. She was sent thru rehab numerous times and programs and this just has

a claw hold on her and her husband and finally the courts felt they had given

ample time and chances and they permanently removed the children. These poor

little boys were given back to her again and again. They also spent many months

with their nana and pawpapw. They finally are now adopted by my friend and her

husband and it is permanent. This was an obvious case of the parents being unfit

and it took years. They were not physically abused to the best of my knowledge,

but they were neglected and endangered on a regular basis.

I'm not sure where you are, but here in CO, it took a long damn time for this to

get accomplished with reason. I would like to know what your nada thinks her

" reason " is. (rolling my eyes and tapping my foot) PUHLEASE! At least it has

bought you two weeks of silence, maybe more if you are lucky! C

[Guest guest]

Writermanque,

WOO HOO. The idea that any grandparent thinks that they can invoke a " right " to

see their grandchildren is laughable. I have a close friend that just ended up

with custody of her two grandchildren from her meth addicted daughter and SIL.

Trust me, this took YEARS and my friend hoped that these childrens mother would

pull her sh!t together and the courts gave her as many opportunities and help as

it could. She was sent thru rehab numerous times and programs and this just has

a claw hold on her and her husband and finally the courts felt they had given

ample time and chances and they permanently removed the children. These poor

little boys were given back to her again and again. They also spent many months

with their nana and pawpapw. They finally are now adopted by my friend and her

husband and it is permanent. This was an obvious case of the parents being unfit

and it took years. They were not physically abused to the best of my knowledge,

but they were neglected and endangered on a regular basis.

I'm not sure where you are, but here in CO, it took a long damn time for this to

get accomplished with reason. I would like to know what your nada thinks her

" reason " is. (rolling my eyes and tapping my foot) PUHLEASE! At least it has

bought you two weeks of silence, maybe more if you are lucky! C

[Guest guest]

Writermanque,

WOO HOO. The idea that any grandparent thinks that they can invoke a " right " to

see their grandchildren is laughable. I have a close friend that just ended up

with custody of her two grandchildren from her meth addicted daughter and SIL.

Trust me, this took YEARS and my friend hoped that these childrens mother would

pull her sh!t together and the courts gave her as many opportunities and help as

it could. She was sent thru rehab numerous times and programs and this just has

a claw hold on her and her husband and finally the courts felt they had given

ample time and chances and they permanently removed the children. These poor

little boys were given back to her again and again. They also spent many months

with their nana and pawpapw. They finally are now adopted by my friend and her

husband and it is permanent. This was an obvious case of the parents being unfit

and it took years. They were not physically abused to the best of my knowledge,

but they were neglected and endangered on a regular basis.

I'm not sure where you are, but here in CO, it took a long damn time for this to

get accomplished with reason. I would like to know what your nada thinks her

" reason " is. (rolling my eyes and tapping my foot) PUHLEASE! At least it has

bought you two weeks of silence, maybe more if you are lucky! C

[Guest guest]

Haven't had (intentional) contact with them in almost five years, except for

when they've shown up at various places unannounced. I've kept a log of their

sightings for the past year, a copy of which is securely in the hands of our

lawyer.

What's funnier about this is that my husband is also a lawyer and volunteers as

a court-appointed advocate for abused and neglected children. I mean, he of all

people would know 1. what the law actually says about grandparent rights, and 2.

how difficult it is to have a parent deemed unfit to make the decision not to

let the grandparents visit (which is a condition that has to be met for the

grandparent to have any claim to visitation in our state). It's laughable.

> > >

> > > This is my first post and the first thing I want to say is thank you.

Thank you to all of you who share your experiences. You are such a huge help to

me and so many others, in knowing that I am not the only one going through this,

that my feelings and experiences are shared.

> > >

> > > I have just recently come to the revelation that my NADA has BPD and " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " and this group have helped me open the curtain on the

wizard. It's as if a light bulb has been turned on in a previously dark and

shadowy room. I feel like I just learned the secret behind all the magic tricks

and it is all plain as day. My NADA's tricks no longer work, I can see them for

what they are and they no longer hold any power over me. I have removed the

buttons she installed inside me and thrown them in the trash. The FOG has been

lifted and I feel so liberated and empowered!

> > >

> > > This incredible place of revelation came to me after a year of

increasingly distressful and manipulative episodes with my NADA starting with

her ending up Baker Acted after threatening suicide because her plans for my big

40th birthday party that she insisted on planning for me wasn't working out the

way she wanted. It ended with her dragging me to her therapist office the week

before Christmas so she could falsely accuse my DH of sodomizing our 3 year old

son. After having our son immediately examined by his pediatrician and her

finding him happy, healthy and well adjusted with no evidence of abuse, I went

strictly LC with her in an email and informed her that she can only communicate

with me by email or in a joint session with her therapist. Luckily getting

Baker Acted forced her into therapy and she has actually stuck with it so far.

The email option has allowed me to document her nonsense rants and also put the

distance in place so that I can deal with it on my own terms. The therapist is

there to validate my truth, to keep things civil and back me up when NADA

backpedals or changes her story or tries to deny what she said. The therapist

heard it too, so I'm not the crazy one and I'm not twisting her words. I have

been able to lay all of her abuse out on the table, out in the open and out of

the closet in my chest where it's been hiding for so long.

> > >

> > > NADA has denied everything, of course, but it doesn't matter to me anymore

if she owns it and apologizes or not. It's not on me anymore. I am doing my

best to heal and move on, she can join me or she can stay where she is but she's

not going to drag me or my beautiful family down with her.

> > >

> > > I think the big change in me is because it's not just about me anymore,

it's about my son. She crossed the line and it cut the cord between her and I.

Momma Bear is here and my cub is off limits. She is never going to get close

enough to install any FOG buttons in him. GRRRRRRR!

> > >

> > > To all of you struggling in the FOG I want you to know that you can lift

it. You have the right to be happy, to live a peaceful life. You don't have to

cringe every time the phone rings or look out the window in panic every time the

dog barks paranoid that NADA is pulling in the driveway unannounced. Don't

dread every coming holiday, don't give in to the guilt that NADA/FADA and

society try to lay on you. Do something else, go away on a vacation or just

stay home. Make your own new and happy traditions. Rip those buttons out that

NADA/FADA installed in you and flush them down the toilet. You didn't cause the

sickness, you aren't to blame for anything, you don't deserve the abuse and you

can't cure it. Let go of it all. Let the sunshine in.

> > >

> > > Shine the light on all of the abuse, put it out there for everyone to see,

get it off your chest and leave it there to shrivel in the light of day. This

enormous family is here for you, we validate you, we validate your feelings, we

validate your experiences, we feel the same pain and we will all blow in one

mighty breath to lift the FOG!

> > >

> > > I am so grateful to all of you and for " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " You

have all helped me take my life back and I hope I can encourage someone else to

do the same. WE ARE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

> > >

> >

>