Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Wow that sounds horrible. If you're being pushed to that point, then it's really not good. You need to put your mental health first. It sounds like there way too much time with your nada - maybe if you ever have to be together again you can find a way to limit it/have a buffer? Go take some time out now to recover, it sounds it's been hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Wow that sounds horrible. If you're being pushed to that point, then it's really not good. You need to put your mental health first. It sounds like there way too much time with your nada - maybe if you ever have to be together again you can find a way to limit it/have a buffer? Go take some time out now to recover, it sounds it's been hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Wow that sounds horrible. If you're being pushed to that point, then it's really not good. You need to put your mental health first. It sounds like there way too much time with your nada - maybe if you ever have to be together again you can find a way to limit it/have a buffer? Go take some time out now to recover, it sounds it's been hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 That sounds like an awful experience. I'm sorry you had to go though it. Poisoning memories is a great description of one of the things nadas are good at doing. One thing that I think you should remember for the future is that nadas are never going to " be there " for anyone but themselves. They may be physicially present at an event like a graduation but they aren't capable of emotionally " being there " for anyone else. Not only are they not capable of being supportive of someone else's accomplishments, they tend engage in even worse behavior than usual because they want everything to revolve around them, not around other people. Weddings, graduations, funerals, etc are all triggering events for misbehavior. When they don't get what they want, they act out. Besides the problem with wanting to be in the center of things, events where many family members are involved offer a greater opporunity for nadas to come into contact with more people they are harboring ill feelings toward, giving more opportunities for misbehavior. If your nada pushes you into being violent, not having in-person contact with her seems like a good choice to me. If you do see her, it would probably work out better for everyone concerned if it is not at an event that is special or a big deal for anyone else. At 02:11 AM 05/13/2012 ginger.snyder@... wrote: >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 That sounds like an awful experience. I'm sorry you had to go though it. Poisoning memories is a great description of one of the things nadas are good at doing. One thing that I think you should remember for the future is that nadas are never going to " be there " for anyone but themselves. They may be physicially present at an event like a graduation but they aren't capable of emotionally " being there " for anyone else. Not only are they not capable of being supportive of someone else's accomplishments, they tend engage in even worse behavior than usual because they want everything to revolve around them, not around other people. Weddings, graduations, funerals, etc are all triggering events for misbehavior. When they don't get what they want, they act out. Besides the problem with wanting to be in the center of things, events where many family members are involved offer a greater opporunity for nadas to come into contact with more people they are harboring ill feelings toward, giving more opportunities for misbehavior. If your nada pushes you into being violent, not having in-person contact with her seems like a good choice to me. If you do see her, it would probably work out better for everyone concerned if it is not at an event that is special or a big deal for anyone else. At 02:11 AM 05/13/2012 ginger.snyder@... wrote: >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 That sounds like an awful experience. I'm sorry you had to go though it. Poisoning memories is a great description of one of the things nadas are good at doing. One thing that I think you should remember for the future is that nadas are never going to " be there " for anyone but themselves. They may be physicially present at an event like a graduation but they aren't capable of emotionally " being there " for anyone else. Not only are they not capable of being supportive of someone else's accomplishments, they tend engage in even worse behavior than usual because they want everything to revolve around them, not around other people. Weddings, graduations, funerals, etc are all triggering events for misbehavior. When they don't get what they want, they act out. Besides the problem with wanting to be in the center of things, events where many family members are involved offer a greater opporunity for nadas to come into contact with more people they are harboring ill feelings toward, giving more opportunities for misbehavior. If your nada pushes you into being violent, not having in-person contact with her seems like a good choice to me. If you do see her, it would probably work out better for everyone concerned if it is not at an event that is special or a big deal for anyone else. At 02:11 AM 05/13/2012 ginger.snyder@... wrote: >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Really good advise Katrina ty.  I am trying to remember just good things not bad.  On Mothers day I am thankful and hurt but needed a reassuring ear as I do not want my children to know I hit their grandmother.  I just get sick and tired and then I remembered that I was the one that wanted her to be here for the graduation.  I have to quit worrying and thinking of my Nada she is not the same woman she used to be and it only hurts me.  Just moving on with my life.... >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Really good advise Katrina ty.  I am trying to remember just good things not bad.  On Mothers day I am thankful and hurt but needed a reassuring ear as I do not want my children to know I hit their grandmother.  I just get sick and tired and then I remembered that I was the one that wanted her to be here for the graduation.  I have to quit worrying and thinking of my Nada she is not the same woman she used to be and it only hurts me.  Just moving on with my life.... >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Really good advise Katrina ty.  I am trying to remember just good things not bad.  On Mothers day I am thankful and hurt but needed a reassuring ear as I do not want my children to know I hit their grandmother.  I just get sick and tired and then I remembered that I was the one that wanted her to be here for the graduation.  I have to quit worrying and thinking of my Nada she is not the same woman she used to be and it only hurts me.  Just moving on with my life.... >After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and >bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from >college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for >my child. > >Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get >voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really >good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get >alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting >each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I >stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me >to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for >everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my >oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so >emotional and joyful. > >Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters >house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of >24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited >him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know >why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite >frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family >decisions simply because she is not here. > >Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation >no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about >things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on >side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet >until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she >would not shut up. > >I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached >out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I >would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought >her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am >not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but >no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > >She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing >she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off >by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She >opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car >during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but >I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to >figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with >Nada. > >Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my >Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's >day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so >upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am >not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in >the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud >around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my >cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > >I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in >my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I >was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister >has written nada off for several years. I just always want to >try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so >hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill >her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I >try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around >her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry >so long had to vent home alone. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 What a horrible situation. I did not seek out my nada at my DD's graduation for just the same reason--fear she would activate me by throwing a scene or some other drama that would make her needs seem more important on a day that belonged to my daughter. We've all been pushed to that wall. Hopefully now that your nada knows she can't push you and not get retaliation, perhaps sh's stop. Either that or she was trying to provoke you into laying hands on her--sick people do some weird stuff to fulfill the crazy beliefs in their head. Perhaps she is comfortable getting smacked around. < > > > After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. > > Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. > > Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. > > Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. > > I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > > She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. > > Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > > I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 What a horrible situation. I did not seek out my nada at my DD's graduation for just the same reason--fear she would activate me by throwing a scene or some other drama that would make her needs seem more important on a day that belonged to my daughter. We've all been pushed to that wall. Hopefully now that your nada knows she can't push you and not get retaliation, perhaps sh's stop. Either that or she was trying to provoke you into laying hands on her--sick people do some weird stuff to fulfill the crazy beliefs in their head. Perhaps she is comfortable getting smacked around. < > > > After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. > > Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. > > Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. > > Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. > > I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > > She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. > > Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > > I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 What a horrible situation. I did not seek out my nada at my DD's graduation for just the same reason--fear she would activate me by throwing a scene or some other drama that would make her needs seem more important on a day that belonged to my daughter. We've all been pushed to that wall. Hopefully now that your nada knows she can't push you and not get retaliation, perhaps sh's stop. Either that or she was trying to provoke you into laying hands on her--sick people do some weird stuff to fulfill the crazy beliefs in their head. Perhaps she is comfortable getting smacked around. < > > > After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. > > Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. > > Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. > > Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. > > I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > > She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. > > Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > > I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 That is funny you said that echo my sister told me yesterday our step father left my mom because she would get violent with him and sit on him and try and beat him.  Maybe she wanted to provoke me into hitting her she kept like pushing me with her body to get me to react.  I did I came back swinging real fists, I was really mad by this time in the argument.  I kept thinking she was trying to get me to hit her.  I wish I would not have though because it made me feel bad.  I do not like to hit anyone I would rather be controlled clear thoughts no anger issues.  I take blame for my reactions which were not too good.  Ty for the insight. Subject: Re: mothers day vent To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Sunday, May 13, 2012, 1:17 PM  What a horrible situation. I did not seek out my nada at my DD's graduation for just the same reason--fear she would activate me by throwing a scene or some other drama that would make her needs seem more important on a day that belonged to my daughter. We've all been pushed to that wall. Hopefully now that your nada knows she can't push you and not get retaliation, perhaps sh's stop. Either that or she was trying to provoke you into laying hands on her--sick people do some weird stuff to fulfill the crazy beliefs in their head. Perhaps she is comfortable getting smacked around. < > > > After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. > > Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. > > Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. > > Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. > > I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > > She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. > > Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > > I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 That is funny you said that echo my sister told me yesterday our step father left my mom because she would get violent with him and sit on him and try and beat him.  Maybe she wanted to provoke me into hitting her she kept like pushing me with her body to get me to react.  I did I came back swinging real fists, I was really mad by this time in the argument.  I kept thinking she was trying to get me to hit her.  I wish I would not have though because it made me feel bad.  I do not like to hit anyone I would rather be controlled clear thoughts no anger issues.  I take blame for my reactions which were not too good.  Ty for the insight. Subject: Re: mothers day vent To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Sunday, May 13, 2012, 1:17 PM  What a horrible situation. I did not seek out my nada at my DD's graduation for just the same reason--fear she would activate me by throwing a scene or some other drama that would make her needs seem more important on a day that belonged to my daughter. We've all been pushed to that wall. Hopefully now that your nada knows she can't push you and not get retaliation, perhaps sh's stop. Either that or she was trying to provoke you into laying hands on her--sick people do some weird stuff to fulfill the crazy beliefs in their head. Perhaps she is comfortable getting smacked around. < > > > After not seeing my nada for almost a year I broke down and bought her a ticket to houston for my daughters graduation from college. She lives in Mexico and I wanted her to be there for my child. > > Nada and I are like fire and gas we get together and things get voilatile. This time was the absolute worst. She was really good for the first twenty four hours then the two of us get alone and ended up in an argument that progressed to us hitting each other and I threw a bottle of water at her. For once I stood up for myself and told her she was a liar. She wants me to remember things that did not exist and makes excuses for everything she has ever done wrong. This is right after my oldest child graduates from college and I am feeling so emotional and joyful. > > Nada is mad because I am having graduation party at my sisters house her daughter. Nada is also mad because her ex husband of 24 years is invited to the party because my daughter invited him (he is there grandfather to my kids). Nada wants to know why no one cares about her feelings in the matter and quite frankly, she moved to Mexico and is not included in family decisions simply because she is not here. > > Until I bought the ticket on the Tuesday before the graduation no one knew she would be here to check her feelings about things. Then she threw a fit and I almost dropped Nada off on side of freeway. I drove her home screaming to just be quiet until I could get her home I was afraid I would kill her she would not shut up. > > I finally get her home only to have her push me until I reached out and hit her back then I told her to just let me leave and I would never bother her again. This is after I not only bought her ticket here I also paid all expenses for our trip. I am not proud of my reactions to her especially at mother's day but no one in this world can upset me like my Nada. > > She is bipoler and can be nice as can be then you say one thing she doesnt like and she goes crazy. Her reactions were set off by my sister handing her the invitation at the graduation. She opened it saw it and immediately wanted to go sit in the car during the graduation. I had no idea what the problem was but I was not leaving my child during her college graduation to figure out for the millionth time in my life what is wrong with Nada. > > Then I get home and have to feel guilty for striking out at my Nada after being provoked and pushed and tomorrow is mother's day. Sorry so long needed to vent just got home and was so upset. I can not let my children know what happened as I am not proud of this but I have had it. I can not be around or in the same room as my Nada. It is like having a black cloud around and there is never happiness only problems. I kept my cool until I thought I was going to kill her. > > I am not a violent person and this is only the second time in my life I have ever used violence. (the other time was when I was 14 years old). My sister never speaks to my mom. Sister has written nada off for several years. I just always want to try and help my nada. I can not solve her problems I try so hard to help her she will not be here long, then I want to kill her again. This is not a healthy relationship and I swear I try so hard to get along with her. I simply can not be around her. She poisoned the best memories of my life typical. Sorry so long had to vent home alone. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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