Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because I've felt like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at everyone I feel like my brain might just explode out of my head. We've had a stretch of bad luck for the past six months or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in our bank account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of our control. What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress well. Thus the recent anger management problems. Some days I can hold it together like a normal person. Other days I know damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm pissed off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so I'm feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and sometimes I'm taking it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid even talking to friends right now because I'm afraid of what I might say. Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm genuinely sorry. I apologize from the heart and take responsibility for whatever it is that I've done wrong. Because I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating over all the things that people --- friends and family – have done to me that's shitty, and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts to call them on it (because I hate confrontation) they always end up making me feel as though I have to do half of the apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? Why can't people just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? Take responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if this is something that's running rampant in society these days or if it's just a function of the type of people I tend to draw to myself. I just don't see what the big deal is in saying, " I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. " Why can't others do this? Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty mood I just don't think I can handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Or maybe I'm just full of fleas right now. I hate feeling this way. I'm being such an asshole. > > We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because I've felt like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at everyone I feel like my brain might just explode out of my head. We've had a stretch of bad luck for the past six months or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in our bank account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of our control. What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress well. Thus the recent anger management problems. Some days I can hold it together like a normal person. Other days I know damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm pissed off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so I'm feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and sometimes I'm taking it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid even talking to friends right now because I'm afraid of what I might say. > > Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm genuinely sorry. I apologize from the heart and take responsibility for whatever it is that I've done wrong. Because I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating over all the things that people --- friends and family – have done to me that's shitty, and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts to call them on it (because I hate confrontation) they always end up making me feel as though I have to do half of the apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? Why can't people just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? Take responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if this is something that's running rampant in society these days or if it's just a function of the type of people I tend to draw to myself. I just don't see what the big deal is in saying, " I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. " Why can't others do this? > > Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty mood I just don't think I can handle it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Well, regardless of how you think that you are being (and it sounds like you're beating up on yourself more than anyone else, so please give yourself a little break) -- I think that you are right about apologizing (and I suffer from this also). It is as if in today's society (US anyway) most people do not recognize when they are responsible for something. Maybe it's pride at the root of it, but most people can't seem to handle actually owning up to their mistakes, to how they may have hurt others. As you say -- you can get a 1/2-apology (and often only when you call people on it), but the other person often seems to somehow, subtly, pull you into the blame -- as if it scares the heck out of them, deep down, to admit (sole) responsibility for hurting someone, or doing something wrong. In the same way, most people (US again) seem to feel that they deserve the good life/good things in life -- and when hard times come, someone (else) must be to blame. But (I feel) basically that life is a struggle -- and anything good that you have is either an undeserved blessing (as in Grace -- you didn't really do anything to earn the blessing) or it's something that you worked hard to achieve. The Declaration of Independence says that we are guaranteed " the pursuit of Happiness. " Not necessarily *getting* it. We need to pursue it -- not expect it to fall in our laps. Yikes -- sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now! --Dana > ** > > > Or maybe I'm just full of fleas right now. I hate feeling this way. I'm > being such an asshole. > > > > > > We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because I've felt > like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at everyone I feel like my > brain might just explode out of my head. We've had a stretch of bad luck > for the past six months or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in > our bank account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs > soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of our control. > What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress well. Thus the recent anger > management problems. Some days I can hold it together like a normal person. > Other days I know damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm > pissed off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so I'm > feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and sometimes I'm taking > it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid even talking to friends right now > because I'm afraid of what I might say. > > > > Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is > legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm genuinely > sorry. I apologize from the heart and take responsibility for whatever it > is that I've done wrong. Because I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating > over all the things that people --- friends and family – have done to me > that's shitty, and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. > Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts to call them > on it (because I hate confrontation) they always end up making me feel as > though I have to do half of the apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? > Why can't people just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? > Take responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if this is > something that's running rampant in society these days or if it's just a > function of the type of people I tend to draw to myself. I just don't see > what the big deal is in saying, " I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive > me. " Why can't others do this? > > > > Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty mood I > just don't think I can handle it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Well, regardless of how you think that you are being (and it sounds like you're beating up on yourself more than anyone else, so please give yourself a little break) -- I think that you are right about apologizing (and I suffer from this also). It is as if in today's society (US anyway) most people do not recognize when they are responsible for something. Maybe it's pride at the root of it, but most people can't seem to handle actually owning up to their mistakes, to how they may have hurt others. As you say -- you can get a 1/2-apology (and often only when you call people on it), but the other person often seems to somehow, subtly, pull you into the blame -- as if it scares the heck out of them, deep down, to admit (sole) responsibility for hurting someone, or doing something wrong. In the same way, most people (US again) seem to feel that they deserve the good life/good things in life -- and when hard times come, someone (else) must be to blame. But (I feel) basically that life is a struggle -- and anything good that you have is either an undeserved blessing (as in Grace -- you didn't really do anything to earn the blessing) or it's something that you worked hard to achieve. The Declaration of Independence says that we are guaranteed " the pursuit of Happiness. " Not necessarily *getting* it. We need to pursue it -- not expect it to fall in our laps. Yikes -- sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now! --Dana > ** > > > Or maybe I'm just full of fleas right now. I hate feeling this way. I'm > being such an asshole. > > > > > > We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because I've felt > like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at everyone I feel like my > brain might just explode out of my head. We've had a stretch of bad luck > for the past six months or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in > our bank account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs > soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of our control. > What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress well. Thus the recent anger > management problems. Some days I can hold it together like a normal person. > Other days I know damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm > pissed off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so I'm > feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and sometimes I'm taking > it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid even talking to friends right now > because I'm afraid of what I might say. > > > > Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is > legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm genuinely > sorry. I apologize from the heart and take responsibility for whatever it > is that I've done wrong. Because I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating > over all the things that people --- friends and family – have done to me > that's shitty, and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. > Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts to call them > on it (because I hate confrontation) they always end up making me feel as > though I have to do half of the apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? > Why can't people just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? > Take responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if this is > something that's running rampant in society these days or if it's just a > function of the type of people I tend to draw to myself. I just don't see > what the big deal is in saying, " I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive > me. " Why can't others do this? > > > > Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty mood I > just don't think I can handle it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Well, regardless of how you think that you are being (and it sounds like you're beating up on yourself more than anyone else, so please give yourself a little break) -- I think that you are right about apologizing (and I suffer from this also). It is as if in today's society (US anyway) most people do not recognize when they are responsible for something. Maybe it's pride at the root of it, but most people can't seem to handle actually owning up to their mistakes, to how they may have hurt others. As you say -- you can get a 1/2-apology (and often only when you call people on it), but the other person often seems to somehow, subtly, pull you into the blame -- as if it scares the heck out of them, deep down, to admit (sole) responsibility for hurting someone, or doing something wrong. In the same way, most people (US again) seem to feel that they deserve the good life/good things in life -- and when hard times come, someone (else) must be to blame. But (I feel) basically that life is a struggle -- and anything good that you have is either an undeserved blessing (as in Grace -- you didn't really do anything to earn the blessing) or it's something that you worked hard to achieve. The Declaration of Independence says that we are guaranteed " the pursuit of Happiness. " Not necessarily *getting* it. We need to pursue it -- not expect it to fall in our laps. Yikes -- sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now! --Dana > ** > > > Or maybe I'm just full of fleas right now. I hate feeling this way. I'm > being such an asshole. > > > > > > We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because I've felt > like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at everyone I feel like my > brain might just explode out of my head. We've had a stretch of bad luck > for the past six months or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in > our bank account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs > soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of our control. > What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress well. Thus the recent anger > management problems. Some days I can hold it together like a normal person. > Other days I know damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm > pissed off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so I'm > feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and sometimes I'm taking > it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid even talking to friends right now > because I'm afraid of what I might say. > > > > Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is > legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm genuinely > sorry. I apologize from the heart and take responsibility for whatever it > is that I've done wrong. Because I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating > over all the things that people --- friends and family – have done to me > that's shitty, and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. > Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts to call them > on it (because I hate confrontation) they always end up making me feel as > though I have to do half of the apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? > Why can't people just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? > Take responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if this is > something that's running rampant in society these days or if it's just a > function of the type of people I tend to draw to myself. I just don't see > what the big deal is in saying, " I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive > me. " Why can't others do this? > > > > Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty mood I > just don't think I can handle it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 I think there's a huge problem nowdays with people not wanting to take responsibility for what they do or don't do, fueled partially by a sense of entitlement. If someone feels entitled to do whatever they want they tend not to feel they need to apologize for what happens when they try to get it. That being said, some of the problem may simply be that the people you're dealing with don't know how to properly apologize. What doesn't feel like a proper apology to you may be intended to be one. You might be overly sensitive when you end up apologizing to people who should be apologizing to you. Growing up the way many of us have, it is easy to get into the habit of apologizing when there is no call for doing so just to keep the peace and prevent nada/fada blow-ups. If you feel pissed off with the world without having specific targets for your anger, I recommend doing something that lets you harmlessly take it out on something. There have been times when I've found baking doughnuts to be quite therapeutic because the dough has to be beaten down a couple of times in the process of making them and punching dough feels good when angry. Eating them when they are done tastes good too! Kicking cans in the yard or breaking a few empty bottles can feel quite satisfying too. At 05:57 PM 05/13/2012 Ambertolina wrote: >We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because >I've felt like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at >everyone I feel like my brain might just explode out of my >head. We've had a stretch of bad luck for the past six months >or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in our bank >account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs >soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of >our control. What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress >well. Thus the recent anger management problems. Some days I >can hold it together like a normal person. Other days I know >damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm pissed >off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so >I'm feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and >sometimes I'm taking it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid >even talking to friends right now because I'm afraid of what I >might say. > >Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is >legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm >genuinely sorry. I apologize from the heart and take >responsibility for whatever it is that I've done wrong. Because >I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating over all the things that >people --- friends and family have done to me that's shitty, >and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. >Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts >to call them on it (because I hate confrontation) they always >end up making me feel as though I have to do half of the >apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? Why can't people >just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? Take >responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if >this is something that's running rampant in society these days >or if it's just a function of the type of people I tend to draw >to myself. I just don't see what the big deal is in saying, " I >am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. " Why can't others do >this? > >Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty >mood I just don't think I can handle it. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 I think there's a huge problem nowdays with people not wanting to take responsibility for what they do or don't do, fueled partially by a sense of entitlement. If someone feels entitled to do whatever they want they tend not to feel they need to apologize for what happens when they try to get it. That being said, some of the problem may simply be that the people you're dealing with don't know how to properly apologize. What doesn't feel like a proper apology to you may be intended to be one. You might be overly sensitive when you end up apologizing to people who should be apologizing to you. Growing up the way many of us have, it is easy to get into the habit of apologizing when there is no call for doing so just to keep the peace and prevent nada/fada blow-ups. If you feel pissed off with the world without having specific targets for your anger, I recommend doing something that lets you harmlessly take it out on something. There have been times when I've found baking doughnuts to be quite therapeutic because the dough has to be beaten down a couple of times in the process of making them and punching dough feels good when angry. Eating them when they are done tastes good too! Kicking cans in the yard or breaking a few empty bottles can feel quite satisfying too. At 05:57 PM 05/13/2012 Ambertolina wrote: >We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because >I've felt like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at >everyone I feel like my brain might just explode out of my >head. We've had a stretch of bad luck for the past six months >or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in our bank >account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs >soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of >our control. What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress >well. Thus the recent anger management problems. Some days I >can hold it together like a normal person. Other days I know >damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm pissed >off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so >I'm feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and >sometimes I'm taking it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid >even talking to friends right now because I'm afraid of what I >might say. > >Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is >legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm >genuinely sorry. I apologize from the heart and take >responsibility for whatever it is that I've done wrong. Because >I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating over all the things that >people --- friends and family have done to me that's shitty, >and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. >Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts >to call them on it (because I hate confrontation) they always >end up making me feel as though I have to do half of the >apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? Why can't people >just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? Take >responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if >this is something that's running rampant in society these days >or if it's just a function of the type of people I tend to draw >to myself. I just don't see what the big deal is in saying, " I >am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. " Why can't others do >this? > >Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty >mood I just don't think I can handle it. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 I think there's a huge problem nowdays with people not wanting to take responsibility for what they do or don't do, fueled partially by a sense of entitlement. If someone feels entitled to do whatever they want they tend not to feel they need to apologize for what happens when they try to get it. That being said, some of the problem may simply be that the people you're dealing with don't know how to properly apologize. What doesn't feel like a proper apology to you may be intended to be one. You might be overly sensitive when you end up apologizing to people who should be apologizing to you. Growing up the way many of us have, it is easy to get into the habit of apologizing when there is no call for doing so just to keep the peace and prevent nada/fada blow-ups. If you feel pissed off with the world without having specific targets for your anger, I recommend doing something that lets you harmlessly take it out on something. There have been times when I've found baking doughnuts to be quite therapeutic because the dough has to be beaten down a couple of times in the process of making them and punching dough feels good when angry. Eating them when they are done tastes good too! Kicking cans in the yard or breaking a few empty bottles can feel quite satisfying too. At 05:57 PM 05/13/2012 Ambertolina wrote: >We went to see the Avengers today, and that's ironic because >I've felt like the Hulk all day long. I have been so angry at >everyone I feel like my brain might just explode out of my >head. We've had a stretch of bad luck for the past six months >or so; it's affected our health, put a huge dent in our bank >account, both me and my spouse will very likely be without jobs >soon, and most of what's happened has been completely out of >our control. What with my upbringing, I do not handle stress >well. Thus the recent anger management problems. Some days I >can hold it together like a normal person. Other days I know >damn good and well that I'm behaving like my mother. I'm pissed >off at the world, but there's no one to really get angry at so >I'm feeling petty and spiteful and extremely BPD-like and >sometimes I'm taking it out on my family. I'm trying to avoid >even talking to friends right now because I'm afraid of what I >might say. > >Here's the thing though: I have one complaint that I think is >legitimate. When I'm at fault, and I'm sorry for something, I'm >genuinely sorry. I apologize from the heart and take >responsibility for whatever it is that I've done wrong. Because >I'm in this crappy mood I'm ruminating over all the things that >people --- friends and family have done to me that's shitty, >and it just never seems like anyone else is honestly sorry. >Whenever someone has genuinely wronged me and I have the guts >to call them on it (because I hate confrontation) they always >end up making me feel as though I have to do half of the >apologizing. Does anyone else notice this? Why can't people >just admit that they've done something wrong and be sorry? Take >responsibility for what they've done? I can't figure out if >this is something that's running rampant in society these days >or if it's just a function of the type of people I tend to draw >to myself. I just don't see what the big deal is in saying, " I >am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. " Why can't others do >this? > >Also, I have not called my mother today. I'm in such a shitty >mood I just don't think I can handle it. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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