First Post in a Long Time

[Guest guest]

Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

[Guest guest]

Poppy,

that was truly twisted and wrong. EEEEW. That is just the most horrible thing to

take such pleasure from the anxiety of a small child. I think I would write out

the things you want an apology for and then decide on a ritual to let it go,

like burning it, but give it meaning for YOURSELF. I don't think you will ever

get that apology, but I understand the desire. I was there too not that long

ago. I finally decided that would be futile, because I would be putting the

responsibilty of my happiness in the hands of someone that is mentally unstable.

Why would I do that to ME? That thought was what finally gave me some peace

about that elusive apology. C

[Guest guest]

Poppy,

that was truly twisted and wrong. EEEEW. That is just the most horrible thing to

take such pleasure from the anxiety of a small child. I think I would write out

the things you want an apology for and then decide on a ritual to let it go,

like burning it, but give it meaning for YOURSELF. I don't think you will ever

get that apology, but I understand the desire. I was there too not that long

ago. I finally decided that would be futile, because I would be putting the

responsibilty of my happiness in the hands of someone that is mentally unstable.

Why would I do that to ME? That thought was what finally gave me some peace

about that elusive apology. C

[Guest guest]

(((((Purplepoppy)))))

Yes, that is sadistic behavior and its hard for us to even wrap our minds around

a mother who would get a kick out of hurting her own child: upsetting her child

to the point of hysteria. It truly is very, very sick behavior. I wish that no

child would ever have to experience such a thing from anyone, let alone her own

mother or father. Such individuals are in my opinion way too emotionally

disturbed to be raising a child.

-Annie

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Purplepoppy)))))

Yes, that is sadistic behavior and its hard for us to even wrap our minds around

a mother who would get a kick out of hurting her own child: upsetting her child

to the point of hysteria. It truly is very, very sick behavior. I wish that no

child would ever have to experience such a thing from anyone, let alone her own

mother or father. Such individuals are in my opinion way too emotionally

disturbed to be raising a child.

-Annie

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Purplepoppy)))))

Yes, that is sadistic behavior and its hard for us to even wrap our minds around

a mother who would get a kick out of hurting her own child: upsetting her child

to the point of hysteria. It truly is very, very sick behavior. I wish that no

child would ever have to experience such a thing from anyone, let alone her own

mother or father. Such individuals are in my opinion way too emotionally

disturbed to be raising a child.

-Annie

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

What a horrible thing to say and do to a child. Intentionally

making your child hysterical is backwards from normal behavior.

Most mothers want to protect their children from anything that

would get that reaction.

I understand the urge to tell her how messed up the things she

did were. I sometimes fantasize about giving my nada a real

earful on the subject of how messed up and wrong her behavior

is. I won't though, because no amount of talking to her will

ever make her understand why the things she does are wrong.

Saying the things I want to say would just create drama and make

her angry.

At 01:13 AM 05/16/2012 purplepoppy33 wrote:

>Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year

>now, and have posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading

>everyone's posts, and with every one, I say " That's just like

>MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms with a lot

>of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and

>tried to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could

>move on. On Mother's Day, I remembered something that she used

>to do, a question she would ask every few months, which I had

>totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or six, she

>would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me,

> " What would you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of

>course, little child me, would panic and hope that I wasn't,

>because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved me, and I did not

>want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

>things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great

>she was, no, no, I don't want another Mommy, and her smile

>would grow from ear to ear. And I would beg her to tell me that

>I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let you

>wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look

>back on that now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own,

>and think of just how sick and disturbed this woman really is.

>I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if that was normal,

>and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

>anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick

>satisfaction out of hearing said child get hysterical. There's

>plenty of other things that she said or did that up until a few

>years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too numerous to

>list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

>favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my

>opinion in my mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll

>finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm angry at her. I want an apology

>from her for being messed up and not caring enough about

>herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her

>again (NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things

>that she did messed me up for so long and I want to somehow let

>her know that now, I have the control and that she can't hurt

>me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her out of

>my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't

>do it because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My

>dad can just mention her name and a chill runs down my spine.

>I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's shoulder to cry on

>when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

>supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than

>okay, but memories of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice,

>still haunt me. The expression on her face and that damned

>twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being crazy

>flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling

>But thank you all for sharing your stories and advice and I

>know that I'll get through this, one step at a time.

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

What a horrible thing to say and do to a child. Intentionally

making your child hysterical is backwards from normal behavior.

Most mothers want to protect their children from anything that

would get that reaction.

I understand the urge to tell her how messed up the things she

did were. I sometimes fantasize about giving my nada a real

earful on the subject of how messed up and wrong her behavior

is. I won't though, because no amount of talking to her will

ever make her understand why the things she does are wrong.

Saying the things I want to say would just create drama and make

her angry.

At 01:13 AM 05/16/2012 purplepoppy33 wrote:

>Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year

>now, and have posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading

>everyone's posts, and with every one, I say " That's just like

>MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms with a lot

>of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and

>tried to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could

>move on. On Mother's Day, I remembered something that she used

>to do, a question she would ask every few months, which I had

>totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or six, she

>would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me,

> " What would you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of

>course, little child me, would panic and hope that I wasn't,

>because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved me, and I did not

>want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

>things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great

>she was, no, no, I don't want another Mommy, and her smile

>would grow from ear to ear. And I would beg her to tell me that

>I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let you

>wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look

>back on that now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own,

>and think of just how sick and disturbed this woman really is.

>I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if that was normal,

>and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

>anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick

>satisfaction out of hearing said child get hysterical. There's

>plenty of other things that she said or did that up until a few

>years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too numerous to

>list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

>favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my

>opinion in my mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll

>finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm angry at her. I want an apology

>from her for being messed up and not caring enough about

>herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her

>again (NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things

>that she did messed me up for so long and I want to somehow let

>her know that now, I have the control and that she can't hurt

>me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her out of

>my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't

>do it because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My

>dad can just mention her name and a chill runs down my spine.

>I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's shoulder to cry on

>when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

>supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than

>okay, but memories of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice,

>still haunt me. The expression on her face and that damned

>twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being crazy

>flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling

>But thank you all for sharing your stories and advice and I

>know that I'll get through this, one step at a time.

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

What a horrible thing to say and do to a child. Intentionally

making your child hysterical is backwards from normal behavior.

Most mothers want to protect their children from anything that

would get that reaction.

I understand the urge to tell her how messed up the things she

did were. I sometimes fantasize about giving my nada a real

earful on the subject of how messed up and wrong her behavior

is. I won't though, because no amount of talking to her will

ever make her understand why the things she does are wrong.

Saying the things I want to say would just create drama and make

her angry.

At 01:13 AM 05/16/2012 purplepoppy33 wrote:

>Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year

>now, and have posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading

>everyone's posts, and with every one, I say " That's just like

>MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms with a lot

>of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and

>tried to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could

>move on. On Mother's Day, I remembered something that she used

>to do, a question she would ask every few months, which I had

>totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or six, she

>would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me,

> " What would you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of

>course, little child me, would panic and hope that I wasn't,

>because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved me, and I did not

>want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

>things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great

>she was, no, no, I don't want another Mommy, and her smile

>would grow from ear to ear. And I would beg her to tell me that

>I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let you

>wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look

>back on that now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own,

>and think of just how sick and disturbed this woman really is.

>I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if that was normal,

>and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

>anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick

>satisfaction out of hearing said child get hysterical. There's

>plenty of other things that she said or did that up until a few

>years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too numerous to

>list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

>favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my

>opinion in my mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll

>finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm angry at her. I want an apology

>from her for being messed up and not caring enough about

>herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her

>again (NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things

>that she did messed me up for so long and I want to somehow let

>her know that now, I have the control and that she can't hurt

>me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her out of

>my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't

>do it because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My

>dad can just mention her name and a chill runs down my spine.

>I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's shoulder to cry on

>when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

>supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than

>okay, but memories of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice,

>still haunt me. The expression on her face and that damned

>twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being crazy

>flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling

>But thank you all for sharing your stories and advice and I

>know that I'll get through this, one step at a time.

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

WOW that is sadistic.

I question my boyfriend the same way. " Is that normal? " LOL. I have no idea

what is normal, apparently.

Explaining to your Nada would only give her more power over you, and she will

never be able to see your side. I agree with writing it down and having a

ritual to release it.

Deanna

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

WOW that is sadistic.

I question my boyfriend the same way. " Is that normal? " LOL. I have no idea

what is normal, apparently.

Explaining to your Nada would only give her more power over you, and she will

never be able to see your side. I agree with writing it down and having a

ritual to release it.

Deanna

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would

beg her to tell me that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let

you wonder if you were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that

now, after I'm grown and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and

disturbed this woman really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if

that was normal, and he bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say

anything like that to her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of

hearing said child get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said

or did that up until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too

numerous to list, but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her

favorite thing to say to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my

mid-twenties was, " Well maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm

angry at her. I want an apology from her for being messed up and not caring

enough about herself or me to do anything about it. I want to talk to her again

(NC now for two years) and tell her all of these things that she did messed me

up for so long and I want to somehow let her know that now, I have the control

and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is, I'm so much better off with her

out of my life that even if I had the chance to face her, I wouldn't do it

because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me. My dad can just mention her

name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate to have my loving husband's

shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle, and everyone here who is so

supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay, better than okay, but memories

of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still haunt me. The expression on her

face and that damned twisted half-smile while she was with me alone and being

crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr. Sorry for the rambling But thank

you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know that I'll get through

this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

All of our nadas share so many traits, thank heavens we survived.  You are so

fortunate to have a husband you can lean on.  And while you cannot forgot what

she did to you you can say never again and not submit your children to the same

treatment

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 2:50 PM

Subject: Re: First Post in a Long Time

 

WOW that is sadistic.

I question my boyfriend the same way. " Is that normal? " LOL. I have no idea

what is normal, apparently.

Explaining to your Nada would only give her more power over you, and she will

never be able to see your side. I agree with writing it down and having a

ritual to release it.

Deanna

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another

Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would beg her to tell me

that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let you wonder if you

were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that now, after I'm grown

and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and disturbed this woman

really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if that was normal, and he

bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say anything like that to

her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of hearing said child

get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said or did that up

until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too numerous to list,

but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her favorite thing to say

to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my mid-twenties was, " Well

maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm angry at her. I want an

apology from her for

being messed up and not caring enough about herself or me to do anything about

it. I want to talk to her again (NC now for two years) and tell her all of these

things that she did messed me up for so long and I want to somehow let her know

that now, I have the control and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is,

I'm so much better off with her out of my life that even if I had the chance to

face her, I wouldn't do it because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me.

My dad can just mention her name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate

to have my loving husband's shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle,

and everyone here who is so supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay,

better than okay, but memories of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still

haunt me. The expression on her face and that damned twisted half-smile while

she was with me alone and being crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr.

Sorry for the

rambling But thank you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know

that I'll get through this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

All of our nadas share so many traits, thank heavens we survived.  You are so

fortunate to have a husband you can lean on.  And while you cannot forgot what

she did to you you can say never again and not submit your children to the same

treatment

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 2:50 PM

Subject: Re: First Post in a Long Time

 

WOW that is sadistic.

I question my boyfriend the same way. " Is that normal? " LOL. I have no idea

what is normal, apparently.

Explaining to your Nada would only give her more power over you, and she will

never be able to see your side. I agree with writing it down and having a

ritual to release it.

Deanna

>

> Hello all! I have been a member of the group for over a year now, and have

posted a few times. Mostly I have been reading everyone's posts, and with every

one, I say " That's just like MY nada! " I also have finally been coming to terms

with a lot of the things that nada subjected me to, which I had buried and tried

to forget, but desperately needed to deal with so I could move on. On Mother's

Day, I remembered something that she used to do, a question she would ask every

few months, which I had totally forgotten about. From about the age of five or

six, she would get this twisted, half smile on her face and ask me, " What would

you do if I told you that you were adopted? " And of course, little child me,

would panic and hope that I wasn't, because, hey, she was my mom, and she loved

me, and I did not want that to ever be true. And I would tell her all those

things she wanted to hear, how much I loved her and how great she was, no, no, I

don't want another

Mommy, and her smile would grow from ear to ear. And I would beg her to tell me

that I wasn't adopted, and she would say, " I'm going to let you wonder if you

were or not, " and she would walk away. I look back on that now, after I'm grown

and have a child of my own, and think of just how sick and disturbed this woman

really is. I asked my dear amazing wonderful husband if that was normal, and he

bluntly told me no it was not normal for a woman to say anything like that to

her five year old child and get a sick satisfaction out of hearing said child

get hysterical. There's plenty of other things that she said or did that up

until a few years ago, I thought were a little bizarre, too numerous to list,

but now I know that she was, and still is, quite ill. Her favorite thing to say

to me when I finally began voicing my opinion in my mid-twenties was, " Well

maybe when I die you'll finally be happy. " Errrr. I'm angry at her. I want an

apology from her for

being messed up and not caring enough about herself or me to do anything about

it. I want to talk to her again (NC now for two years) and tell her all of these

things that she did messed me up for so long and I want to somehow let her know

that now, I have the control and that she can't hurt me anymore. Sad part is,

I'm so much better off with her out of my life that even if I had the chance to

face her, I wouldn't do it because of the anxiety she can still provoke in me.

My dad can just mention her name and a chill runs down my spine. I'm fortunate

to have my loving husband's shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough to handle,

and everyone here who is so supportive and validating. I know I'll be okay,

better than okay, but memories of nada and her voice, her TONE of voice, still

haunt me. The expression on her face and that damned twisted half-smile while

she was with me alone and being crazy flash through my mind everyday. Grrr.

Sorry for the

rambling But thank you all for sharing your stories and advice and I know

that I'll get through this, one step at a time.

>

[Guest guest]

Poppy,

Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

[Guest guest]

Poppy,

Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

[Guest guest]

Poppy,

Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

[Guest guest]

I agree, its just so wrong when a child winds up being parented by adults who

are nothing more than really large schoolyard bullies. I just can't fathom

parents who deliberately torment their very small child and think its " funny " .

Its creepy. Some people have all the nurturing/parenting instincts and empathy

of a monitor lizard. A monitor lizard will scratch out a shallow nest, lay her

eggs, then wander off to feed and perhaps reproduce again, and then if she gets

hungry enough she'll wander back to her nest and eat her own eggs and

hatchlings.

Human children need and deserve something better than a monitor lizard for a

parent.

-Annie

> Poppy,

>

> Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

>

> My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, its just so wrong when a child winds up being parented by adults who

are nothing more than really large schoolyard bullies. I just can't fathom

parents who deliberately torment their very small child and think its " funny " .

Its creepy. Some people have all the nurturing/parenting instincts and empathy

of a monitor lizard. A monitor lizard will scratch out a shallow nest, lay her

eggs, then wander off to feed and perhaps reproduce again, and then if she gets

hungry enough she'll wander back to her nest and eat her own eggs and

hatchlings.

Human children need and deserve something better than a monitor lizard for a

parent.

-Annie

> Poppy,

>

> Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

>

> My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, its just so wrong when a child winds up being parented by adults who

are nothing more than really large schoolyard bullies. I just can't fathom

parents who deliberately torment their very small child and think its " funny " .

Its creepy. Some people have all the nurturing/parenting instincts and empathy

of a monitor lizard. A monitor lizard will scratch out a shallow nest, lay her

eggs, then wander off to feed and perhaps reproduce again, and then if she gets

hungry enough she'll wander back to her nest and eat her own eggs and

hatchlings.

Human children need and deserve something better than a monitor lizard for a

parent.

-Annie

> Poppy,

>

> Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

>

> My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lol! But I agree. The monitor lizard only eats her young once. The BPD Nada will

harm her children badly, then walk away to let them heal and gain some strength,

and then come back and attack again, over and over and over. Anyone who has seen

the movie " The Princess Bride " might remember the phrase " to the pain. " It seems

appropriate to the Nadas and Fadas, unfortunately. 

I've had a busy week, so I am late on this one, but I want to say a big Happy

Day to all of us who had to mother ourselves, and a special thanks and Happy Day

for Annie, who so motherly watches over us all. We are our own best mothers in a

lot of ways, and we deserve a day to celebrate ourselves! 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 6:55 PM

Subject: Re: First Post in a Long Time

 

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lol! But I agree. The monitor lizard only eats her young once. The BPD Nada will

harm her children badly, then walk away to let them heal and gain some strength,

and then come back and attack again, over and over and over. Anyone who has seen

the movie " The Princess Bride " might remember the phrase " to the pain. " It seems

appropriate to the Nadas and Fadas, unfortunately. 

I've had a busy week, so I am late on this one, but I want to say a big Happy

Day to all of us who had to mother ourselves, and a special thanks and Happy Day

for Annie, who so motherly watches over us all. We are our own best mothers in a

lot of ways, and we deserve a day to celebrate ourselves! 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 6:55 PM

Subject: Re: First Post in a Long Time

 

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lol! But I agree. The monitor lizard only eats her young once. The BPD Nada will

harm her children badly, then walk away to let them heal and gain some strength,

and then come back and attack again, over and over and over. Anyone who has seen

the movie " The Princess Bride " might remember the phrase " to the pain. " It seems

appropriate to the Nadas and Fadas, unfortunately. 

I've had a busy week, so I am late on this one, but I want to say a big Happy

Day to all of us who had to mother ourselves, and a special thanks and Happy Day

for Annie, who so motherly watches over us all. We are our own best mothers in a

lot of ways, and we deserve a day to celebrate ourselves! 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 6:55 PM

Subject: Re: First Post in a Long Time

 

I think it's unfair *to the monitor lizard* to compare her to a BPD Nada!

>

> > Poppy,

> >

> > Yes it was an atrocious thing to do to you as a small child.

> >

> > My nada tried the same thing but deep down I knew she was being facetious.

When she kept doing so ad nauseam, I eventually took public transportation at

about age 8 or 9 or 10 to the city's main library and looked up my birth

announcement in the main newspaper stored on microfilm, expecting to find it and

I did. " So, if I were adopted, how come there's a birth announcement naming me

and both of you, my parents, by name, a day after I was born, saying mother and

son are doing fine? " I asked. So nada shut up, dad stopped thinking it was a

funny joke other than I had called them on it, and nada found something else to

be a predator about.

> >

> >

> >

>