the family meddler

May 27, 2012

My sister who is a flea infested non bp, and flying monkey extrodinare is trying

to make things right between me and my nada. The problem is she only knows one

side of things nada's. I have chosen not to broadcast nada's horrible behavior

of the last few months becuase I am trying to be nice. and some day I hope to

get to a place where I can have something that resembles a relationship with

her. also she will take nadas side every time. even if there are no sides.

due to a recent VERY pushy phone call in which she mocked and tried to tell me

to scrap my boundaries (which she may not have a clear idea of) call (which I am

not doing right now) and invite NADA to come to watch my kids for 3 days while

DH and I go on a trip. nada my kids 3 days NO WAY.

so i sent her this message:

I really appreciate you calling me sometimes. It is nice that you think about

me. Right now I am really working hard to get my pelvic floor dysfunction under

control, and it is nice to have support becasue sometimes it is very isolating.

I want to talk to you about Mom. First I am glad you have a good relationship

with her it is much easier for her I am sure to deal with everything because of

your support. But the truth is I am struggling right now in my relationship with

her, and I want to ask a favor. Please try to avoid saying things to me that

push me to be closer to her. Right now I am doing everything I can to patch

things up with her, but she has not made it easy. Please keep yourself out of

the middle.

I want to keep talking to you, but from now on I will point out when I feel

like that is happening.

Things are improving slowly, but this is not a short process.

Sorry that you feel like you can't talk to me. I didn't meen to make you close

to mom. I know you can't handel it.

I will choose when I will call you...it won't be for a while...Still LOVE YOU,

but don't want to get in the middle.

oh BROTHER.why is it always GUILT?

Meikjn

May 28, 2012

Wow, talk about typical flea infested FOG response. All you can do is ignore the

nastiness in her response. It's her loss to treat you (her sister) that way. Her

FOG response is a flea-infested attempt to break the boundaries you clearly set

by making you feel guilty. You set a boundary with her and she is basically

saying " fine, be that way, I'll go and pout and not talk to you, and THEN you'll

be sorry! "

I'm proud of you for setting your boundary. Her response is unfortunate but

typical. Stay strong, keep the boundaries you set, and I would say don't respond

at all to that email she sent. It's not worth it. She said she'd call you when

she feels like it, so let her. And if she brings up your mom, cut her off

immediately and say " I don't want to discuss this with you. Is there anything

else you want to talk about? No, okay, well, I'll talk to you later then. Love

you, bye. "

Good job.

>

> My sister who is a flea infested non bp, and flying monkey extrodinare is

trying to make things right between me and my nada. The problem is she only

knows one side of things nada's. I have chosen not to broadcast nada's horrible

behavior of the last few months becuase I am trying to be nice. and some day I

hope to get to a place where I can have something that resembles a relationship

with her. also she will take nadas side every time. even if there are no sides.

> due to a recent VERY pushy phone call in which she mocked and tried to tell me

to scrap my boundaries (which she may not have a clear idea of) call (which I am

not doing right now) and invite NADA to come to watch my kids for 3 days while

DH and I go on a trip. nada my kids 3 days NO WAY.

> so i sent her this message:

>

> I really appreciate you calling me sometimes. It is nice that you think about

me. Right now I am really working hard to get my pelvic floor dysfunction under

control, and it is nice to have support becasue sometimes it is very isolating.

>

> I want to talk to you about Mom. First I am glad you have a good relationship

with her it is much easier for her I am sure to deal with everything because of

your support. But the truth is I am struggling right now in my relationship with

her, and I want to ask a favor. Please try to avoid saying things to me that

push me to be closer to her. Right now I am doing everything I can to patch

things up with her, but she has not made it easy. Please keep yourself out of

the middle.

>

> I want to keep talking to you, but from now on I will point out when I feel

like that is happening.

>

> Things are improving slowly, but this is not a short process.

>

> Sorry that you feel like you can't talk to me. I didn't meen to make you

close to mom. I know you can't handel it.

> I will choose when I will call you...it won't be for a while...Still LOVE YOU,

but don't want to get in the middle.

>

> oh BROTHER.why is it always GUILT?

>

> Meikjn

>

May 29, 2012

Meikjn,

I like your email to your sister. It's positive, it affirms her, but it clearly

sets boundaries and what you will do when you notice her violating them.

It's good that you're saying these things to her, even though she probably still

won't get it, she needs to hear you say them.

Fiona