Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? Thanks for allowing this rant. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. If he puts her first its his loss. My father always Put his disordered woman before me and Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They Make their beds and they can lie in them. Sent from my mobile device. > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. If he puts her first its his loss. My father always Put his disordered woman before me and Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They Make their beds and they can lie in them. Sent from my mobile device. > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. If he puts her first its his loss. My father always Put his disordered woman before me and Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They Make their beds and they can lie in them. Sent from my mobile device. > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Yes...I agree you have to let go. There were thousands of moments where my dad could've stood up for me as a kid to my waif/witch mom. He's started to do that now, only because they realized they were about to completely loose me a year ago. But it's a bandaid for the real problems needing to be solved. My mom also has a myriad of chronic illnesses. I know it has to do with her victim mentality. She refuses to take care of herself. It's a manipulation tactic to remind everyone how grateful they should be for her sacrifice to " love them. " I went to the doctor with her once and this kind nurse talked with her about all her chronic pain. My mom just lit up and was GLOWING from the attention. I had never seen her look so content before. It was awful to watch. Oh those waifs..... > ** > > > Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. > If he puts her first its his loss. My father always > Put his disordered woman before me and > Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They > Make their beds and they can lie in them. > > Sent from my mobile device. > > > > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their > parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going > into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. > Does anyone remember this? > > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the > message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because > she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been > talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I > started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last > summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a > point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them > both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask > if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 > tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out > at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to > make the effort to be a part of my life. > > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of > course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should > just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > > Thanks for allowing this rant. > > Jen > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Yes...I agree you have to let go. There were thousands of moments where my dad could've stood up for me as a kid to my waif/witch mom. He's started to do that now, only because they realized they were about to completely loose me a year ago. But it's a bandaid for the real problems needing to be solved. My mom also has a myriad of chronic illnesses. I know it has to do with her victim mentality. She refuses to take care of herself. It's a manipulation tactic to remind everyone how grateful they should be for her sacrifice to " love them. " I went to the doctor with her once and this kind nurse talked with her about all her chronic pain. My mom just lit up and was GLOWING from the attention. I had never seen her look so content before. It was awful to watch. Oh those waifs..... > ** > > > Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. > If he puts her first its his loss. My father always > Put his disordered woman before me and > Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They > Make their beds and they can lie in them. > > Sent from my mobile device. > > > > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their > parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going > into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. > Does anyone remember this? > > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the > message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because > she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been > talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I > started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last > summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a > point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them > both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask > if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 > tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out > at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to > make the effort to be a part of my life. > > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of > course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should > just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > > Thanks for allowing this rant. > > Jen > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Yes...I agree you have to let go. There were thousands of moments where my dad could've stood up for me as a kid to my waif/witch mom. He's started to do that now, only because they realized they were about to completely loose me a year ago. But it's a bandaid for the real problems needing to be solved. My mom also has a myriad of chronic illnesses. I know it has to do with her victim mentality. She refuses to take care of herself. It's a manipulation tactic to remind everyone how grateful they should be for her sacrifice to " love them. " I went to the doctor with her once and this kind nurse talked with her about all her chronic pain. My mom just lit up and was GLOWING from the attention. I had never seen her look so content before. It was awful to watch. Oh those waifs..... > ** > > > Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. > If he puts her first its his loss. My father always > Put his disordered woman before me and > Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They > Make their beds and they can lie in them. > > Sent from my mobile device. > > > > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their > parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going > into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. > Does anyone remember this? > > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the > message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because > she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been > talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I > started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last > summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a > point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them > both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask > if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 > tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out > at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to > make the effort to be a part of my life. > > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of > course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should > just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > > Thanks for allowing this rant. > > Jen > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Hang in there Jen. I can only imagine how difficult it is to have your dad not there for your special moments. It sounds like you're a strong and supported woman, so I hope your loved one will be there with you at graduation. On Jun 1, 2012 12:41 PM, " April Vermillion " april.lynn.vermillion@...> wrote: > Yes...I agree you have to let go. There were thousands of moments where my > dad could've stood up for me as a kid to my waif/witch mom. > > He's started to do that now, only because they realized they were about to > completely loose me a year ago. But it's a bandaid for the real problems > needing to be solved. > > My mom also has a myriad of chronic illnesses. I know it has to do with > her victim mentality. She refuses to take care of herself. It's a > manipulation tactic to remind everyone how grateful they should be for her > sacrifice to " love them. " > > I went to the doctor with her once and this kind nurse talked with her > about all her chronic pain. My mom just lit up and was GLOWING from the > attention. I had never seen her look so content before. It was awful to > watch. > > Oh those waifs..... > > > >> ** >> >> >> Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. >> If he puts her first its his loss. My father always >> Put his disordered woman before me and >> Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They >> Make their beds and they can lie in them. >> >> Sent from my mobile device. >> >> On Jun 1, 2012, at 1:33 PM, " yenimaria007 " yenimaria007@...> >> wrote: >> >> > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their >> parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going >> into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. >> Does anyone remember this? >> > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the >> message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because >> she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been >> talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I >> started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last >> summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a >> point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them >> both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask >> if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 >> tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out >> at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to >> make the effort to be a part of my life. >> > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. >> Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should >> just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? >> > Thanks for allowing this rant. >> > Jen >> > >> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Hang in there Jen. I can only imagine how difficult it is to have your dad not there for your special moments. It sounds like you're a strong and supported woman, so I hope your loved one will be there with you at graduation. On Jun 1, 2012 12:41 PM, " April Vermillion " april.lynn.vermillion@...> wrote: > Yes...I agree you have to let go. There were thousands of moments where my > dad could've stood up for me as a kid to my waif/witch mom. > > He's started to do that now, only because they realized they were about to > completely loose me a year ago. But it's a bandaid for the real problems > needing to be solved. > > My mom also has a myriad of chronic illnesses. I know it has to do with > her victim mentality. She refuses to take care of herself. It's a > manipulation tactic to remind everyone how grateful they should be for her > sacrifice to " love them. " > > I went to the doctor with her once and this kind nurse talked with her > about all her chronic pain. My mom just lit up and was GLOWING from the > attention. I had never seen her look so content before. It was awful to > watch. > > Oh those waifs..... > > > >> ** >> >> >> Letting go is all u can do and it's so hard. >> If he puts her first its his loss. My father always >> Put his disordered woman before me and >> Voila he gets her and I'm gone. They >> Make their beds and they can lie in them. >> >> Sent from my mobile device. >> >> On Jun 1, 2012, at 1:33 PM, " yenimaria007 " yenimaria007@...> >> wrote: >> >> > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their >> parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going >> into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. >> Does anyone remember this? >> > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the >> message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because >> she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been >> talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I >> started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last >> summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a >> point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them >> both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask >> if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 >> tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out >> at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to >> make the effort to be a part of my life. >> > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. >> Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should >> just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? >> > Thanks for allowing this rant. >> > Jen >> > >> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 How sad for your father that he is allowing his wife to make him miss your special moments. How sad for you that he's making those choices. Congratulations on getting your degree. That is a wonderful accomplishment! Celebrate with those who can be there for you. Deanna > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 How sad for your father that he is allowing his wife to make him miss your special moments. How sad for you that he's making those choices. Congratulations on getting your degree. That is a wonderful accomplishment! Celebrate with those who can be there for you. Deanna > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 Jen, did you ever read Surviving a Borderline Parent? I think the story you were thinking of came from that book - the mother in law of the groom fakes some sort of emergency medical crisis a day before the wedding if I remember correctly. I'm so sorry you find yourself in the same boat - I wish your father could see clearly enough to realize what's happening and be there for his daughter. It's his loss and probably something he'll regret later on... hope you can still enjoy your day and focus on the people you do have there to support you. > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2012 Report Share Posted June 7, 2012 Yep. I remember that diabetes story too...it is a classic, and so true! I had two BP relatives who could - seemingly literally - go into a coma AT WILL! LOL. Sounds like you took the high road, invited them both, and ....of course, the same old scenario occurs. Understood. My words may not be very consolatory, but - I'll venture a guess - probably a whole heckuva lot of folks on this forum have been in your shoes quite a few times! I hope all goes well with the graduation! :-) > > I seem to remember someone posting on here a long time ago about their parent with BPD neglecting to take their diabetic medications and going into diabetic shock right before some meaningful event, like their wedding. Does anyone remember this? > I'm fairly certain my father's married to a waif and I just got the message today that they might not come to my graduation on 6/16 because she's been in the hospital the last 3 days. Mind you, my father has been talking about coming to his only child's master's level graduation since I started the program 2 years ago. He wouldn't show up for our wedding last summer (because of her supposed mishaps with my nada and BFF), but made a point that he would be at this event. Being a classy lady, I invited them both, even if I don't want anything to do with her. He emailed today to ask if he could give the tickets back if they couldn't make it. I only get 6 tickets to this gig and if I had known in advance they would be bailing out at the last minute, I would have given them to someone else who wants to make the effort to be a part of my life. > I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Of course this would happen. Of course she would get sick and he won't leave her side. I guess I should just give up trying. Why is that so hard to do??? > Thanks for allowing this rant. > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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