Guest guest Posted June 3, 2012 Report Share Posted June 3, 2012 Do any of you have nadas who try to talk to you about their childhood mother wounds and damage? To try to talk to you about their own KO issues? How do you feel about that? I find myself wanting to shut her up and feeling very little compassion. Angry even that she would dare try to make me her therapist on this, of all issues. I wouldn't feel that way about most anyone else and really she actually does deserve compassion. But should it be me who has to give it to her? It's like I'm supposed to care that she was hurt in ways that are the same as she has hurt me. Yet she is still too blind to ever see or take responsibility for how she has hurt me. I'm not a saint... Lobster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 3, 2012 Report Share Posted June 3, 2012 Oh my gosh, yes!!! This drove me bananas too... I became my mom's personal therapist at 12 years old, listening to her childhood abuse stories in explicit detail. Once I started getting in touch with how much hurt I have from my own childhood I started getting really angry at her every time she brought up her childhood abuse. So that was the very first boundary I ever set with her (and like most BP's I have to continue to set with her on a regular basis). I didn't tell her why - just told her that listening to her past abuse makes me very uncomfortable and it's not something I was able to do any longer. I still have to reiterate that from time to time, but it's so worth it to avoid the resentment that comes with having to listen to stories from her childhood when I'm angry at her for my own childhood! a > > Do any of you have nadas who try to talk to you about their childhood mother wounds and damage? To try to talk to you about their own KO issues? How do you feel about that? I find myself wanting to shut her up and feeling very little compassion. Angry even that she would dare try to make me her therapist on this, of all issues. I wouldn't feel that way about most anyone else and really she actually does deserve compassion. But should it be me who has to give it to her? It's like I'm supposed to care that she was hurt in ways that are the same as she has hurt me. Yet she is still too blind to ever see or take responsibility for how she has hurt me. I'm not a saint... > > Lobster > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 3, 2012 Report Share Posted June 3, 2012 Oh my gosh, yes!!! This drove me bananas too... I became my mom's personal therapist at 12 years old, listening to her childhood abuse stories in explicit detail. Once I started getting in touch with how much hurt I have from my own childhood I started getting really angry at her every time she brought up her childhood abuse. So that was the very first boundary I ever set with her (and like most BP's I have to continue to set with her on a regular basis). I didn't tell her why - just told her that listening to her past abuse makes me very uncomfortable and it's not something I was able to do any longer. I still have to reiterate that from time to time, but it's so worth it to avoid the resentment that comes with having to listen to stories from her childhood when I'm angry at her for my own childhood! a > > Do any of you have nadas who try to talk to you about their childhood mother wounds and damage? To try to talk to you about their own KO issues? How do you feel about that? I find myself wanting to shut her up and feeling very little compassion. Angry even that she would dare try to make me her therapist on this, of all issues. I wouldn't feel that way about most anyone else and really she actually does deserve compassion. But should it be me who has to give it to her? It's like I'm supposed to care that she was hurt in ways that are the same as she has hurt me. Yet she is still too blind to ever see or take responsibility for how she has hurt me. I'm not a saint... > > Lobster > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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