Concerned Parent

[Guest guest]

After noticing the attitudes of my daughter (21years)for these past 4 years

getting worse, i have come to the conculsion that she has some sort of disorder.

She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was younger. Although she is highly

intelligent she finds it very hard to attain and continue academically. Her life

is in a chaotic state and she is creating a big pit which is getting deeper and

deeper and she is finding it very hard to climb up. we try to give her a

direction in her life, something which she is uncapable of doing, but instead

she sends us flying. Communication with her is next to impossible. She goes into

a rage and starts using abusive words and is very aggressive.Her eyes start to

dialate and starts screaming and pulling her hair and hitting her head on the

wall.It is like the devil has possessed her God forbid. After a couple of

minutes she comes talking to me as if nothing has ever occured. She acts on

impulse every time. She never stops to think about any consequenses. She simply

jumps in and then wil see attitude. Work is next to impossible. She starts with

lots of enthusiam but within a couple of weeks she just does not turn up to work

or she simply storms off and leave eveyone high and dry. this is reflecting bad

on her CVs. And it is never her fault it is always someone else's fault. She had

several chaotic relatioships which she goes into heads on telling them her life

story the very first day they meet. Last one even abused her and she still

dreamt that it is the perfect relationship and made everything possible to make

it work against our good advise. She sets herself goals which she can never

reach and that is very frustrating for her. Moodiness, impulsivity, instability,

unpredictability, ill-temperedness, extreme emotional reactions, and high

emotional sensitivity are the norm of the day. It is well descibed when they say

you are as if walking on eggshells. She is only consistent in her own

consistency.I am afraid of confronting her. I am tired,drained and exhauted.

After going to a Clinical Psychologist and telling him of my worries, he

confirmed that she might be suffereing from BPD with treats of narcissm. I

refered her to a therapist. But unfortunately due all repect i do not think she

is the right person to deal with this high end personality. First she agreed

with me that my daughter is suffering from BPD. After months of therapy with no

results and my daughter getting even worse, it was my daughter who brought up

the subject of BPD (After noticing my many books, she started asking questions

and did some reasearch herself).When she was confronted, the therapist told her

that she does not have BPD after all, and it is useless diagnosing it even so.

She told her that she is suffering from adolescant tantrums and it is normal at

my daughter's age to act this way! how absurd! When my daughter got to know

about this disorder, her first reaction was leave me alone i am nothing of the

sort. But then she started searching and reading and now she definately thinks

that she ticks all the BPD boxes, and she is asking me to seek professional help

other than this therapist. My question is, should i take her to a psychiatrist

or a clinical psychologist. Have read loads of books and The Essential Family

Guide To BPD i found very helpful but still do not know where to begin. I am

trying to understand my daughter's suffering and sometimes i pity her and

sometimes i am really angry with her for not trying to listen to one iota of

good advise to try and better herself. Because even though she might be

suffering from this disorder, I still think that she can listen to who ever is

trying to help her. Well I simply do not know any more

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I hear your anguish and I think you may find some further information or message

boards that discuss being a parent of someone suffering from BPD at

http://www.bpdcentral.com/support-groups/. This group is for grown/adult

children of a parent or parents with bdp and therefore there may not be a great

deal of experience here to share with you.

Very quickly though I believe (although you may want to confirm this with

others) a psychiatrist is a medical practitioner who has additionally trained in

the field of mental health and therefore able to prescribe medication whereas

psychologists do not.

>

> After noticing the attitudes of my daughter (21years)for these past 4 years

getting worse, i have come to the conculsion that she has some sort of disorder.

She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was younger. Although she is highly

intelligent she finds it very hard to attain and continue academically. Her life

is in a chaotic state and she is creating a big pit which is getting deeper and

deeper and she is finding it very hard to climb up. we try to give her a

direction in her life, something which she is uncapable of doing, but instead

she sends us flying. Communication with her is next to impossible. She goes into

a rage and starts using abusive words and is very aggressive.Her eyes start to

dialate and starts screaming and pulling her hair and hitting her head on the

wall.It is like the devil has possessed her God forbid. After a couple of

minutes she comes talking to me as if nothing has ever occured. She acts on

impulse every time. She never stops to think about any consequenses. She simply

jumps in and then wil see attitude. Work is next to impossible. She starts with

lots of enthusiam but within a couple of weeks she just does not turn up to work

or she simply storms off and leave eveyone high and dry. this is reflecting bad

on her CVs. And it is never her fault it is always someone else's fault. She had

several chaotic relatioships which she goes into heads on telling them her life

story the very first day they meet. Last one even abused her and she still

dreamt that it is the perfect relationship and made everything possible to make

it work against our good advise. She sets herself goals which she can never

reach and that is very frustrating for her. Moodiness, impulsivity, instability,

unpredictability, ill-temperedness, extreme emotional reactions, and high

emotional sensitivity are the norm of the day. It is well descibed when they say

you are as if walking on eggshells. She is only consistent in her own

consistency.I am afraid of confronting her. I am tired,drained and exhauted.

After going to a Clinical Psychologist and telling him of my worries, he

confirmed that she might be suffereing from BPD with treats of narcissm. I

refered her to a therapist. But unfortunately due all repect i do not think she

is the right person to deal with this high end personality. First she agreed

with me that my daughter is suffering from BPD. After months of therapy with no

results and my daughter getting even worse, it was my daughter who brought up

the subject of BPD (After noticing my many books, she started asking questions

and did some reasearch herself).When she was confronted, the therapist told her

that she does not have BPD after all, and it is useless diagnosing it even so.

She told her that she is suffering from adolescant tantrums and it is normal at

my daughter's age to act this way! how absurd! When my daughter got to know

about this disorder, her first reaction was leave me alone i am nothing of the

sort. But then she started searching and reading and now she definately thinks

that she ticks all the BPD boxes, and she is asking me to seek professional help

other than this therapist. My question is, should i take her to a psychiatrist

or a clinical psychologist. Have read loads of books and The Essential Family

Guide To BPD i found very helpful but still do not know where to begin. I am

trying to understand my daughter's suffering and sometimes i pity her and

sometimes i am really angry with her for not trying to listen to one iota of

good advise to try and better herself. Because even though she might be

suffering from this disorder, I still think that she can listen to who ever is

trying to help her. Well I simply do not know any more

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for taking the time to answer me. Yes in fact i realised i was in the

wrong group and already subscribed to the other group. Thank you re info about

psychiatrist. The only thing is that she might not want medication so will see.

> >

> > After noticing the attitudes of my daughter (21years)for these past 4 years

getting worse, i have come to the conculsion that she has some sort of disorder.

She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was younger. Although she is highly

intelligent she finds it very hard to attain and continue academically. Her life

is in a chaotic state and she is creating a big pit which is getting deeper and

deeper and she is finding it very hard to climb up. we try to give her a

direction in her life, something which she is uncapable of doing, but instead

she sends us flying. Communication with her is next to impossible. She goes into

a rage and starts using abusive words and is very aggressive.Her eyes start to

dialate and starts screaming and pulling her hair and hitting her head on the

wall.It is like the devil has possessed her God forbid. After a couple of

minutes she comes talking to me as if nothing has ever occured. She acts on

impulse every time. She never stops to think about any consequenses. She simply

jumps in and then wil see attitude. Work is next to impossible. She starts with

lots of enthusiam but within a couple of weeks she just does not turn up to work

or she simply storms off and leave eveyone high and dry. this is reflecting bad

on her CVs. And it is never her fault it is always someone else's fault. She had

several chaotic relatioships which she goes into heads on telling them her life

story the very first day they meet. Last one even abused her and she still

dreamt that it is the perfect relationship and made everything possible to make

it work against our good advise. She sets herself goals which she can never

reach and that is very frustrating for her. Moodiness, impulsivity, instability,

unpredictability, ill-temperedness, extreme emotional reactions, and high

emotional sensitivity are the norm of the day. It is well descibed when they say

you are as if walking on eggshells. She is only consistent in her own

consistency.I am afraid of confronting her. I am tired,drained and exhauted.

After going to a Clinical Psychologist and telling him of my worries, he

confirmed that she might be suffereing from BPD with treats of narcissm. I

refered her to a therapist. But unfortunately due all repect i do not think she

is the right person to deal with this high end personality. First she agreed

with me that my daughter is suffering from BPD. After months of therapy with no

results and my daughter getting even worse, it was my daughter who brought up

the subject of BPD (After noticing my many books, she started asking questions

and did some reasearch herself).When she was confronted, the therapist told her

that she does not have BPD after all, and it is useless diagnosing it even so.

She told her that she is suffering from adolescant tantrums and it is normal at

my daughter's age to act this way! how absurd! When my daughter got to know

about this disorder, her first reaction was leave me alone i am nothing of the

sort. But then she started searching and reading and now she definately thinks

that she ticks all the BPD boxes, and she is asking me to seek professional help

other than this therapist. My question is, should i take her to a psychiatrist

or a clinical psychologist. Have read loads of books and The Essential Family

Guide To BPD i found very helpful but still do not know where to begin. I am

trying to understand my daughter's suffering and sometimes i pity her and

sometimes i am really angry with her for not trying to listen to one iota of

good advise to try and better herself. Because even though she might be

suffering from this disorder, I still think that she can listen to who ever is

trying to help her. Well I simply do not know any more

> >

>