Epiphany About BPD fam/and my dating history

[Guest guest]

Hi!

Wow...I have so much I want to share with you guys...but pressed for time. BUT,

last night I made a HUGE connection. DUH!!!!!

I always date guys that have commitment issues...to different extremes...and

mostly players. And a ton of in between game players that just yo-yo you by

showing interest...backing off...popping up again...repeat.

I stumbled upon a blog called Baggage Reclaim a year or so ago and it has helped

a lot explaining their behaviour and how the only thing you can do is NO CONTACT

aka NC!!!!!! OK...sooo I've been putting it into practice...and even with

friends that in the end I realize aren't really steady good friends.

OK...SO last night I was explaining to my roomy how the latest two guys don't

deserve my replies because they are game players...that a reply to a NORMAL

person is closure and polite, but with these CRAZIES it is a bait for them to

use to drag you deeper into their game...and then out of my mouth I said " Just

like the book I read about Borderlines...sometimes NC is the only way to deal

with them because they aren't NORMAL and they want to hook you into their drama

game. "

Light bulb moment...that finally bridges why I attract and have put up with that

type of man my whole life!!!! I had understood it was due to their inconsistent

type of parenting and attention, etc. but it is just getting so much clearer!

So, I guess I'm making progress....but I need to get to the next phase of

actually attracting non-crazies that know how to have and want a real

relationship.

thanks for listening!

[Guest guest]

Yup, we're attracted to what's familiar, to the kind of people who allow us to

keep playing out the role we were assigned in our FOO (doormat, rescuer, etc.).

This happens to a lot of us. Congrats on the light bulb--it's the first step to

making very different choices for yourself! Way to make the connection.

Sveta