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Poem Child of Borderline

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Dear All,

I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

I have translated it into English for you.

I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so the melody of the

text is not really translated. But I share it with you for its content.

It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my childhood.

Maybe it could help some of you.

Take all very good care of yourselves !

Many blessings to each of you !

Natacha

Child

of a Borderline

Child of a Borderline

Bitter destiny

Missing tenderness

False markers

Fear of not pleasing

Desire of beeing

transparent

Willing of doing well

Rarely accepted

Dotted existence

With a held breath

Inexpressed desires

Unrevealed personnality

Mocked talents

Broken confidence

Feelings of nullity

Gaged blessing

Fear of moving

Constant melancoly

True happiness of living

missing

Beauty of a soul

assassinated.

Natacha

DASZKEL

Le

26 Juin 2012.

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Thank you for sharing, it sure is a good description!!

>

> Dear All,

>

> I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

> I have translated it into English for you.

>

> I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so the melody of

the text is not really translated. But I share it with you for its content.

>

> It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my childhood.

>

> Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

> Take all very good care of yourselves !

> Many blessings to each of you !

>

> Natacha

>

> Child

> of a Borderline

>

> Child of a Borderline

> Bitter destiny

> Missing tenderness

> False markers

>

> Fear of not pleasing

> Desire of beeing

> transparent

> Willing of doing well

> Rarely accepted

>

> Dotted existence

> With a held breath

> Inexpressed desires

> Unrevealed personnality

>

> Mocked talents

> Broken confidence

> Feelings of nullity

> Gaged blessing

>

> Fear of moving

> Constant melancoly

> True happiness of living

> missing

> Beauty of a soul

> assassinated.

>

> Natacha

> DASZKEL

> Le

> 26 Juin 2012.

>

>

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That captures feelings I felt as a child, very well. The bleakness, and the

forever unanswered question that if asked, sparked more rage: " Why? " Its so

cruel to turn a living child into a mute, inanimate object, which is what it

felt like to me.

Thanks for sharing.

-Annie

>

> Dear All,

>

> I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

> I have translated it into English for you.

>

> I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so the melody of

the text is not really translated. But I share it with you for its content.

>

> It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my childhood.

>

> Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

> Take all very good care of yourselves !

> Many blessings to each of you !

>

> Natacha

>

> Child

> of a Borderline

>

> Child of a Borderline

> Bitter destiny

> Missing tenderness

> False markers

>

> Fear of not pleasing

> Desire of beeing

> transparent

> Willing of doing well

> Rarely accepted

>

> Dotted existence

> With a held breath

> Inexpressed desires

> Unrevealed personnality

>

> Mocked talents

> Broken confidence

> Feelings of nullity

> Gaged blessing

>

> Fear of moving

> Constant melancoly

> True happiness of living

> missing

> Beauty of a soul

> assassinated.

>

> Natacha

> DASZKEL

> Le

> 26 Juin 2012.

>

>

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Guest guest

That's a powerful poem. It really catches the emotions of

growing up with a parent who has BPD.

At 08:01 AM 06/28/2012 Daszkel Natacha wrote:

>Dear All,

>

>I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

>I have translated it into English for you.

>

>I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so

>the melody of the text is not really translated. But I share it

>with you for its content.

>

>It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my

>childhood.

>

>Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

>Take all very good care of yourselves !

>Many blessings to each of you !

>

>Natacha

>

>Child

>of a Borderline

>

>Child of a Borderline

>Bitter destiny

>Missing tenderness

>False markers

>

>Fear of not pleasing

>Desire of beeing

>transparent

>Willing of doing well

>Rarely accepted

>

>Dotted existence

>With a held breath

>Inexpressed desires

>Unrevealed personnality

>

>Mocked talents

>Broken confidence

>Feelings of nullity

>Gaged blessing

>

>Fear of moving

>Constant melancoly

>True happiness of living

>missing

>Beauty of a soul

>assassinated.

>

>Natacha

>DASZKEL

>Le

>26 Juin 2012.

--

Katrina

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Dear Annie,

Thank you for your kind words.

I did my best to reflect the feelings I had at this time, and I'm happy to see

that even if it is only a translation to English with no rimes, I managed to

transmit in another language the words of the feelings :-)

I am so happy to feel understood here on this site, and to think that maybe my

poems can help some other people too.

This afternoon, I was just thinking that maybe I should publish a poems book

consecrated specially to the subject of how it has been to be a child of a

borderline. So I have checked all my previous poems books and assemblate

together all the poems about this topic, and I couldn't believe it, I have more

than 50 poems !

First I would publish it in French, but I would really really love then to

publish it into English language, especially because I would love to share all

this with the members of our group.

It would be a long work of translation, but I think I can do it :-)

I think I will have to struggle here against my lack of confidence in myself but

it could be a very good challenge to me to break these invisible walls which

empeach me also today to dare to show my true level and personnal gifts (I

actually live in a low level life not at all at the level I should be in because

nada has spent her life to empeach me to be higher than her, I've gone NC for

one year but the invisible walls she has put arround me are still here

unbroken.)

It is a every day struggle not to think constantly that I am not good enough and

I am not worth for anything....

Yes, it was the same for me, I was not really allowed to move. Last week I had a

terrible flash back, I have remembered something I had forgotten for about 36-38

years ! I remembered suddendly that when I was about two years old, nada was

attaching me in my bed with a belt ! I couldn't move and had to become asleep on

my back, which I absolutely hated. Today I spoke with a woman of my age and

asked her if it was fashion in our young time, to attach 2 years old in their

beds, and she opened big eyes and said that she never ever heard about that !

I am curious about all the other hard memories I potentially have kept hidden

inside me and forgotten in my very young age to protect myself !

Take very good care of yourself.

Natacha

________________________________

De : anuria67854 anuria-67854@...>

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Jeudi 28 juin 2012 16h21

Objet : Re: Poem Child of Borderline

 

That captures feelings I felt as a child, very well. The bleakness, and the

forever unanswered question that if asked, sparked more rage: " Why? " Its so

cruel to turn a living child into a mute, inanimate object, which is what it

felt like to me.

Thanks for sharing.

-Annie

>

> Dear All,

>

> I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

> I have translated it into English for you.

>

> I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so the melody of

the text is not really translated. But I share it with you for its content.

>

> It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my childhood.

>

> Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

> Take all very good care of yourselves !

> Many blessings to each of you !

>

> Natacha

>

> Child

> of a Borderline

>

> Child of a Borderline

> Bitter destiny

> Missing tenderness

> False markers

>

> Fear of not pleasing

> Desire of beeing

> transparent

> Willing of doing well

> Rarely accepted

>

> Dotted existence

> With a held breath

> Inexpressed desires

> Unrevealed personnality

>

> Mocked talents

> Broken confidence

> Feelings of nullity

> Gaged blessing

>

> Fear of moving

> Constant melancoly

> True happiness of living

> missing

> Beauty of a soul

> assassinated.

>

> Natacha

> DASZKEL

> Le

> 26 Juin 2012.

>

>

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Dear Katrina,

Thank you very much for your kind e-mail.

You are helping me a lot with it to trust better myself in my ability to express

and to transmit this atmosphere I grew up in. I think it can help other adult

children of Borderline to realize that yes, it was really like that, and to know

that they are not alone and that they are understood in their sufferings.

I have already written more than 50 poems on this special topic, I seriously

think about translating them into English.

Take very good care of yourself.

Natacha

________________________________

De : Katrina kk1raven@...>

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Jeudi 28 juin 2012 16h21

Objet : Re: Poem Child of Borderline

 

That's a powerful poem. It really catches the emotions of

growing up with a parent who has BPD.

At 08:01 AM 06/28/2012 Daszkel Natacha wrote:

>Dear All,

>

>I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

>I have translated it into English for you.

>

>I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so

>the melody of the text is not really translated. But I share it

>with you for its content.

>

>It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my

>childhood.

>

>Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

>Take all very good care of yourselves !

>Many blessings to each of you !

>

>Natacha

>

>Child

>of a Borderline

>

>Child of a Borderline

>Bitter destiny

>Missing tenderness

>False markers

>

>Fear of not pleasing

>Desire of beeing

>transparent

>Willing of doing well

>Rarely accepted

>

>Dotted existence

>With a held breath

>Inexpressed desires

>Unrevealed personnality

>

>Mocked talents

>Broken confidence

>Feelings of nullity

>Gaged blessing

>

>Fear of moving

>Constant melancoly

>True happiness of living

>missing

>Beauty of a soul

>assassinated.

>

>Natacha

>DASZKEL

>Le

>26 Juin 2012.

--

Katrina

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Dear Tina,

Thank you for your kind message :-)

This afternoon, I have written two other ones, this is one of them :

Mother's

Day

Mother's

Day

From

my childhood

Bitter

rememberings

Hard

suffering

Beautiful

gift

So

well prepared

And

wrapped

In

a paper

Lifeless

face

A

vague Thank you

Indifference

And

then neglect

Frustrated

child

Humiliated

Put

away gift

Never

exposed

Hidden

sorrow

Betrayed

love

Tormented

heart

In

agony.

Natacha

DASZKEL

Le

28 Juin 2012.

Take very good care of yourself.

Natacha

________________________________

De : tina b tina_72us@...>

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Jeudi 28 juin 2012 15h38

Objet : Re: Poem Child of Borderline

 

Thank you for sharing, it sure is a good description!!

>

> Dear All,

>

> I want to share with you another poem I have written recently.

> I have translated it into English for you.

>

> I am so sorry that there is no rime in my English version, so the melody of

the text is not really translated. But I share it with you for its content.

>

> It describes what I experienced az nada's daughter during my childhood.

>

> Maybe it could help some of you.

>

>

> Take all very good care of yourselves !

> Many blessings to each of you !

>

> Natacha

>

> Child

> of a Borderline

>

> Child of a Borderline

> Bitter destiny

> Missing tenderness

> False markers

>

> Fear of not pleasing

> Desire of beeing

> transparent

> Willing of doing well

> Rarely accepted

>

> Dotted existence

> With a held breath

> Inexpressed desires

> Unrevealed personnality

>

> Mocked talents

> Broken confidence

> Feelings of nullity

> Gaged blessing

>

> Fear of moving

> Constant melancoly

> True happiness of living

> missing

> Beauty of a soul

> assassinated.

>

> Natacha

> DASZKEL

> Le

> 26 Juin 2012.

>

>

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