Broke NC to Claim Inheritance-story continues

[Guest guest]

Hi everybody, I had previously posted about nada hunting me down through a

lawyer's letter to a pal who passed it on to me. The letter claimed my name had

been left on a deed to some real estate and nada wished me to sign the property

back over to her. If " I wished " I could be paid a portion of the proceeds.

Translation: In true BPD style, nada had her lawyer request I give up my legal

rights to a piece of property and if I really, really needed to be paid, then I

could get " a portion " of my money. As a few people in this list know, I was very

upset at nearly 7 blissful years of NC interrupted, but I decided to fight for

my rights.

Although I have had legal advice on this matter, I asked a trusted and

experienced business/real estate savvy friend represent me to nada's lawyer.

Based on the bitter past, I know the average default for people (lawyers

included) is to side with the poor, elderly little waif nada (hiding the

internal witch/queen) who cries poor while sitting on a substantial nestegg.

Nada never parted with a penny she didn't squeeze till the eagle screamed, and

old age hasn't made her any more generous. My friend has proved to be a terrific

buffer between me and nada's lawyer, as well as a good communicator that takes

the emotion out of the dialogue and just cites the facts.

A few days ago we received a copy of fada's Will and as I expected, all trace of

my name was erased. I had been entirely cut out of any inheritance. Nada was not

using her probate lawyer to contact me, she hired someone new. The new lawyer

had seen only the deed to the property, not the Will, and her tone changed a lot

when she got a copy from nada and forwarded it to us. Now Nada's lawyer sees the

whole picture: a daughter cut out of her inheritance and hanging on to a shred

of remaining property. It's taken a little of the righteous crusade out of her,

if I can read between the lines. Thank God for my friend who wisely asked for us

to see the Will. It served more than one purpose.

Along with the Will came " tax assessment " notices that nada's lawyer is asking

me to accept as a true valuation of the property. She wants me to accept 1/3rd

of that figure as my portion. However, a little research reveals that property

sales are 2.38 times the value of tax assessments. So we are currently crafting

a reply to the lawyer showing the difference in values and the more-than-double

payoff I deserve. We have also suggested that a property appraiser be hired so

we can get a truly accurate number and come to terms that way.

My pal crafted an email response to the lawyer that used my name 3 times and I

helped him revise it so my name was only mentioned once and the rest of the

email was couched in impersonal terms. To nada, me thinking for myself or

standing up for myself is like waving a red flag at a bull. So I've coached my

pal to let me stay as low profile as possible, and to mention my name the bare

minimum.

Although nada's instinct will be to stop the proceedings and let the property

rot rather than give me anything, I know that my brother and this lawyer will

want a speedy resolution. With luck and God's help, they will drag nada to the

bargaining table. My representative is very aware that while holding out for the

best payout possible, we must give the impression of humility and letting nada

" win " whereever possible. For me, getting a certified check and immediately

closing the email account, address drop, and bank account used for this

transaction will be enough. I can resume my precious NC and get on with CHOOSING

LIFE.

The final blessing of the timing of all of this is that the nada-lawyer's latest

email came the same day that a dear friend passed away. I could not possibly

feel worse right now, so I'm very grateful that my nada-pain can be bundled in

with my sorrow, and I don't have to waste more time on nada separately--a final

gift from my dear, departed friend whom I'm sitting shiva for into next week.

Only fellow-KOs would understand this.

AFB

[Guest guest]

Hi AFB,

My condolences on the death of your good friend; that is a devastating loss, I'm

sure.

You are being so courageous and proactive in standing up for yourself and

protecting your rights RE this property, that is so awesome! And yes, that was

sweetly ironic that your nada's removing your name from your father's will ended

up backfiring on her, and made it obvious that she is trying to screw you out of

your rightful inheritance; that action made it clear how manipulate and hateful

she is actually is being.

I am waving my virtual pennant with " GO AFB! " on it, and cheering for you as you

continue your fight to get your fair share of the property's true value.

-Annie

>

> Hi everybody, I had previously posted about nada hunting me down through a

lawyer's letter to a pal who passed it on to me. The letter claimed my name had

been left on a deed to some real estate and nada wished me to sign the property

back over to her. If " I wished " I could be paid a portion of the proceeds.

>

> Translation: In true BPD style, nada had her lawyer request I give up my legal

rights to a piece of property and if I really, really needed to be paid, then I

could get " a portion " of my money. As a few people in this list know, I was very

upset at nearly 7 blissful years of NC interrupted, but I decided to fight for

my rights.

>

> Although I have had legal advice on this matter, I asked a trusted and

experienced business/real estate savvy friend represent me to nada's lawyer.

Based on the bitter past, I know the average default for people (lawyers

included) is to side with the poor, elderly little waif nada (hiding the

internal witch/queen) who cries poor while sitting on a substantial nestegg.

Nada never parted with a penny she didn't squeeze till the eagle screamed, and

old age hasn't made her any more generous. My friend has proved to be a terrific

buffer between me and nada's lawyer, as well as a good communicator that takes

the emotion out of the dialogue and just cites the facts.

>

> A few days ago we received a copy of fada's Will and as I expected, all trace

of my name was erased. I had been entirely cut out of any inheritance. Nada was

not using her probate lawyer to contact me, she hired someone new. The new

lawyer had seen only the deed to the property, not the Will, and her tone

changed a lot when she got a copy from nada and forwarded it to us. Now Nada's

lawyer sees the whole picture: a daughter cut out of her inheritance and hanging

on to a shred of remaining property. It's taken a little of the righteous

crusade out of her, if I can read between the lines. Thank God for my friend who

wisely asked for us to see the Will. It served more than one purpose.

>

> Along with the Will came " tax assessment " notices that nada's lawyer is asking

me to accept as a true valuation of the property. She wants me to accept 1/3rd

of that figure as my portion. However, a little research reveals that property

sales are 2.38 times the value of tax assessments. So we are currently crafting

a reply to the lawyer showing the difference in values and the more-than-double

payoff I deserve. We have also suggested that a property appraiser be hired so

we can get a truly accurate number and come to terms that way.

>

> My pal crafted an email response to the lawyer that used my name 3 times and I

helped him revise it so my name was only mentioned once and the rest of the

email was couched in impersonal terms. To nada, me thinking for myself or

standing up for myself is like waving a red flag at a bull. So I've coached my

pal to let me stay as low profile as possible, and to mention my name the bare

minimum.

>

> Although nada's instinct will be to stop the proceedings and let the property

rot rather than give me anything, I know that my brother and this lawyer will

want a speedy resolution. With luck and God's help, they will drag nada to the

bargaining table. My representative is very aware that while holding out for the

best payout possible, we must give the impression of humility and letting nada

" win " whereever possible. For me, getting a certified check and immediately

closing the email account, address drop, and bank account used for this

transaction will be enough. I can resume my precious NC and get on with CHOOSING

LIFE.

>

> The final blessing of the timing of all of this is that the nada-lawyer's

latest email came the same day that a dear friend passed away. I could not

possibly feel worse right now, so I'm very grateful that my nada-pain can be

bundled in with my sorrow, and I don't have to waste more time on nada

separately--a final gift from my dear, departed friend whom I'm sitting shiva

for into next week. Only fellow-KOs would understand this.

> AFB

>

[Guest guest]

AFB,

I am very sorry for your loss, and glad you are taking the time to properly

grieve your friend. I am not Jewish, and I have always envied the custom of

sitting shiva, though not for the pd.

It is so heartening to hear of the effective and shrewd manner you have taken in

dealing with your break from NC. I am so proud of you. And am hoping for the

best outcome. You deserve it.

SR

[Guest guest]

Annie, thank you so much for your kind support. It really means a lot. I realize

that so much of dealing with nada is actually dealing with the post-traumatic

stress that is embedded like a landmine-field all over my brain. The great thing

about having my friend represent me is that I know him to be a calm, sane and

trustworthy person, so the information gets run through his brain and back to

mine and it really keeps me in sanity with feet on the ground.

I've known for years that the only way to deal with nada is to do so " in the

light of day " with others watching. nada is very aware of what others think and

that will pressure her to keep moving forward so this deal can get settled. I'm

just so happy that my NC and geographic distance ensures no privacy for her. She

can't use dirty tricks in private on this one and that gives me protection.

However, at the same time, I am far from getting excited about the money. It

would not surprise me at all if nada decides to stop all proceedings and simply

let the property rot until she dies. Then I no longer get a third, I get HALF

because then it's down to me and brother on the deed. There is simply no getting

around having to deal with me. Even if she wants to give the property to charity

or something like that, my permission still needs to be granted. No moves

without the split-black child. Wow, never thought I'd see this day!

So, nada seems to be between a rock and a hard place. Of course, I've never seen

nada lose, ever. So I kind of watch this with a percentage of detachment, not

getting too invested in the outcome, other than having nada make a move which

leads to an eventual outcome. Even no move on nada's part is a move because

without some sort of decision, all parties just walk away and communication

channels shut down. I go back to 100% NC.

I'll report the next move--it's like BPD chess!

AFB

> >

> > Hi everybody, I had previously posted about nada hunting me down through a

lawyer's letter to a pal who passed it on to me. The letter claimed my name had

been left on a deed to some real estate and nada wished me to sign the property

back over to her. If " I wished " I could be paid a portion of the proceeds.

> >

> > Translation: In true BPD style, nada had her lawyer request I give up my

legal rights to a piece of property and if I really, really needed to be paid,

then I could get " a portion " of my money. As a few people in this list know, I

was very upset at nearly 7 blissful years of NC interrupted, but I decided to

fight for my rights.

> >

> > Although I have had legal advice on this matter, I asked a trusted and

experienced business/real estate savvy friend represent me to nada's lawyer.

Based on the bitter past, I know the average default for people (lawyers

included) is to side with the poor, elderly little waif nada (hiding the

internal witch/queen) who cries poor while sitting on a substantial nestegg.

Nada never parted with a penny she didn't squeeze till the eagle screamed, and

old age hasn't made her any more generous. My friend has proved to be a terrific

buffer between me and nada's lawyer, as well as a good communicator that takes

the emotion out of the dialogue and just cites the facts.

> >

> > A few days ago we received a copy of fada's Will and as I expected, all

trace of my name was erased. I had been entirely cut out of any inheritance.

Nada was not using her probate lawyer to contact me, she hired someone new. The

new lawyer had seen only the deed to the property, not the Will, and her tone

changed a lot when she got a copy from nada and forwarded it to us. Now Nada's

lawyer sees the whole picture: a daughter cut out of her inheritance and hanging

on to a shred of remaining property. It's taken a little of the righteous

crusade out of her, if I can read between the lines. Thank God for my friend who

wisely asked for us to see the Will. It served more than one purpose.

> >

> > Along with the Will came " tax assessment " notices that nada's lawyer is

asking me to accept as a true valuation of the property. She wants me to accept

1/3rd of that figure as my portion. However, a little research reveals that

property sales are 2.38 times the value of tax assessments. So we are currently

crafting a reply to the lawyer showing the difference in values and the

more-than-double payoff I deserve. We have also suggested that a property

appraiser be hired so we can get a truly accurate number and come to terms that

way.

> >

> > My pal crafted an email response to the lawyer that used my name 3 times and

I helped him revise it so my name was only mentioned once and the rest of the

email was couched in impersonal terms. To nada, me thinking for myself or

standing up for myself is like waving a red flag at a bull. So I've coached my

pal to let me stay as low profile as possible, and to mention my name the bare

minimum.

> >

> > Although nada's instinct will be to stop the proceedings and let the

property rot rather than give me anything, I know that my brother and this

lawyer will want a speedy resolution. With luck and God's help, they will drag

nada to the bargaining table. My representative is very aware that while holding

out for the best payout possible, we must give the impression of humility and

letting nada " win " whereever possible. For me, getting a certified check and

immediately closing the email account, address drop, and bank account used for

this transaction will be enough. I can resume my precious NC and get on with

CHOOSING LIFE.

> >

> > The final blessing of the timing of all of this is that the nada-lawyer's

latest email came the same day that a dear friend passed away. I could not

possibly feel worse right now, so I'm very grateful that my nada-pain can be

bundled in with my sorrow, and I don't have to waste more time on nada

separately--a final gift from my dear, departed friend whom I'm sitting shiva

for into next week. Only fellow-KOs would understand this.

> > AFB

> >

>

[Guest guest]

AFB, love that and all I could think of was LOL and the line from Harry Potter

and the Socerers Stone...

Ron: " It's EXACTLY like wizards Chess, Hermione! "

so glad that you aren't just rolling over and letting nada take what little

there was left to you. I'm not sure I understand one thing tho. Did your nada

have your fada take you out of the will? Sometimes it almost sounds like your

nada went thru the will with her black sharpie and just marked your name out. It

sounds silly, but that is just what I keep picturing in my head. I just don't

get how these people think. C

> I'll report the next move--it's like BPD chess!

[Guest guest]

Thanks to SR, CmeBfree and all for kind words/thoughts of support.

Clarification: No, nada did not take a black sharpie and black my name out of

the Will. She must have worked and worked and worked on fada, who was an

enabler-extraordinaire, and had him change the Will so I was taken out. Fada

MUST have known that I was still on the deed to one piece of property but it is

SO LIKE HIM to not want to deal with it. (I was NC by then and they'd have had

to hire a skip tracer to find me--how embarrassing!) When revising his Will, he

likely kicked the can down the road, decided to let the chips fall where they

may after his death, and simply not mentioned it. It's highly unlikely nada knew

of this oversight.

I suppose it's possible that fada still wanted me to have some small piece of

inheritance but frankly, I doubt it. It's far more likely he just didn't want to

deal with the wrangling and God forbid, once they found me, more insistence from

me that we resume family counseling. How he HATED counseling, and digging up the

past and family secrets that he felt were dead and buried. Yeah, it would be

nice to assign some shred of altruism to fada's action but the truth serves me

better. I grew up in Oz and heard airbrushed fairytales all my life. The plain,

unvarnished truth serves me better in the real world.

This story will take a Time Out while nada works out her next move. here's my

sign-off thanks to CmeBfree: " It's EXACTLY like wizards Chess, Hermione! "

AFB

[Guest guest]

ROFL, LOVE IT! C

>

> Thanks to SR, CmeBfree and all for kind words/thoughts of support.

>

> Clarification: No, nada did not take a black sharpie and black my name out of

the Will. She must have worked and worked and worked on fada, who was an

enabler-extraordinaire, and had him change the Will so I was taken out. Fada

MUST have known that I was still on the deed to one piece of property but it is

SO LIKE HIM to not want to deal with it. (I was NC by then and they'd have had

to hire a skip tracer to find me--how embarrassing!) When revising his Will, he

likely kicked the can down the road, decided to let the chips fall where they

may after his death, and simply not mentioned it. It's highly unlikely nada knew

of this oversight.

>

> I suppose it's possible that fada still wanted me to have some small piece of

inheritance but frankly, I doubt it. It's far more likely he just didn't want to

deal with the wrangling and God forbid, once they found me, more insistence from

me that we resume family counseling. How he HATED counseling, and digging up the

past and family secrets that he felt were dead and buried. Yeah, it would be

nice to assign some shred of altruism to fada's action but the truth serves me

better. I grew up in Oz and heard airbrushed fairytales all my life. The plain,

unvarnished truth serves me better in the real world.

>

> This story will take a Time Out while nada works out her next move. here's my

sign-off thanks to CmeBfree: " It's EXACTLY like wizards Chess, Hermione! "

> AFB

>