Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 You are right .... it is all a state of mind... I have all those issues you just detailed but, after taking the sage advice of my peers.... I look at my sexy self through my loving husband's eyes.... he doesn't notice all those little imperfections. Deb Feeling sexy: How? > I think it's great that so many woman on this board feel sexy ... and I must > admit that since my surgery my sex drive has been in " extreme " overdrive > (too bad there is no one to try it on ... well there is ... but we've > decided to wait ... I do my best to drive him crazy within our parameters) > BUT ... how can one feel this way with all the hanging skin and such. I > can't wear short sleeved anything because of the batwings I sport. I have > hanging skin between my legs ... not a pretty sight ... oh and the " lovely " > apron that hangs ... and my boobs hang down ... > > What's your secret ... is it ... if you feel sexy ... then you are!?? Is it > a state of mind?? > > Guys ... pipe in here ... > > thanks! > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 " J. M. Cady " wrote: > BUT ... how can one feel this way with all the hanging skin and such. I can't wear short sleeved anything because of the batwings I sport. I have hanging skin between my legs ... not a pretty sight ... oh and the " lovely " apron that hangs ... and my boobs hang down ... J.M., part of this is that we are always far more critical of ourselves and notice these things more intensely than does anyone else around us. It has been my experience that most people pay attention only to themselves, their bodies, and what is affecting them and half the time don't notice anyone else. We have to forgive our bodies their flaws and try to focus on what we feel to be our assets. This applies a lot in relationships with the opposite sex as we care for our partner and a lot of physical things just don't bother us because we love them. Now if we could only learn to love and forgive ourselves the way we do others we'd be in great shape emotionally. That said, I have batwings... shawls over sleeveless dresses in the summer are a great fix and look sexy too, boleros or jackets can do the trick in any season. I have Sharpei puppies for thighs... thigh high stockings are an excellent fix here, lie on your back, lift your leg in the air (causing the wrinkly skin to fall up) pull up stocking and repeat with other leg. Laugh if you must, but combined with the long leg panty girdle this makes for some acceptable appearing thighs even if miniskirts are out of the question. I lean more towards the long skirt... maybe with a 'just above the knee' slit as my 46 year old legs (and the world) just aren't ready for me in minis. As to the apron and excess abdominal skin... LYCRA SPANDEX is your friend! As a gentleman of my acquaintance once commented, " Doll, you have more underwear on at one time than most women own! " I asked him if that was an issue and he said no, it was more like unwrapping a present. Boobs deserve their own paragraph. Mine are in need of cosmetic help as my goal is to have my rack restacked and packed. However, for the time being... Frederick's of Hollywood and 's Secret are your new bywords. I LOVE Frederick's bras, they lift, they enhance, they make me feel like me again and I think they're better than VS, but your mileage may vary. > What's your secret ... is it ... if you feel sexy ... then you are!?? Is it a state of mind?? Yes, and I don't just feel sexy, I am sexy! One of my guy friends calls me the world's most unrepentant flirt and I like it. I flirt to my heart's content, I'm sexy, happy, old enough to know better, and I have a great guy with whom I curl up at night who loves me just the way I am... scars, wrinkles, strange foundation garments and all. He has let me know that none of us look like we used to in our youth but that doesn't make us any less desirable or sexy. It's a state of mind in many ways and one which you can acquire for yourself but you have to want to feel that way. You'll get the hang of it... and you'll love it! belle Half the woman I used to be... Then 311#/Now 155.5#! Then 28W or 4X/Now 8-10 or S-M Still 5'8 " with size 10 feet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Absolutely, sexy is most definitely a state of mind! I watched the s a couple of years ago, when I was beginning to worry about batwings, and saw raise her arm in the air, clutching her . When she shook that triumphantly in the air, the batwings billowed. If she can have them and be sexy, I reasoned, then so can I, dammit! And that's that. I don't worry about it much. Oh, I try to " tuck " them a little for photos, if I can, but other than that, I am so thrilled to be a " normal " person, I let the inner woman take over, and I feel wonderful. Saggy thighs? You betcha! Long gowns, leggings - these are wonderful! If you want a real reflection of how you look, don't look in the mirror, look in the eyes of someone who loves you! Alice in NY > I think it's great that so many woman on this board feel sexy ... BUT .... how can one feel this way with all the hanging skin and such. I can't wear short sleeved anything because of the batwings I sport. I have hanging skin between my legs ... not a pretty sight ... oh and the " lovely " apron that hangs ... and my boobs hang down ... What's your secret ... is it ... if you feel sexy ... then you are!?? Is it a state of mind?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 OK, here's mine: I ordered a tight black velvet evening dress from Bloomingdales. It just clings to the body. I didn't need it, and really ordered it just to try it on. But when I tried it on for my husband. he reacted like I've never seen him before - he was ready to pounce, as they say. Needless to say, I kept the dress. I feel like a million buck in it. Helene Grillo wrote: > Absolutely, sexy is most definitely a state of mind! I watched the s a > couple of years ago, when I was beginning to worry about batwings, and saw > raise her arm in the air, clutching her . When she shook > that triumphantly in the air, the batwings billowed. If she can have > them and be sexy, I reasoned, then so can I, dammit! And that's that. I > don't worry about it much. Oh, I try to " tuck " them a little for photos, if > I can, but other than that, I am so thrilled to be a " normal " person, I let > the inner woman take over, and I feel wonderful. Saggy thighs? You betcha! > Long gowns, leggings - these are wonderful! > > If you want a real reflection of how you look, don't look in the mirror, > look in the eyes of someone who loves you! > Alice in NY > > > I think it's great that so many woman on this board feel sexy ... BUT > ... how can one feel this way with all the hanging skin and such. I can't > wear short sleeved anything because of the batwings I sport. I have hanging > skin between my legs ... not a pretty sight ... oh and the " lovely " apron > that hangs ... and my boobs hang down ... What's your secret ... is it ... > if you feel sexy ... then you are!?? Is it a state of mind?? > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 My wife is just happy to have me even with the hanging skin. However she is quick to point out that my " nekkid " look is something only a wife would love. She is happy with how I am but is supportive if I want to have plastic surgery. Boxer-Briefs are now my best friend as far as keeping my thighs from flapping. Phil Graduate-OSSG wrote: Message: 21 Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 19:20:09 -0500 From: " J. M. Cady " Subject: Feeling sexy: How? I think it's great that so many woman on this board feel sexy ... and I must admit that since my surgery my sex drive has been in " extreme " overdrive (too bad there is no one to try it on ... well there is ... but we've decided to wait ... I do my best to drive him crazy within our parameters) BUT ... how can one feel this way with all the hanging skin and such. I can't wear short sleeved anything because of the batwings I sport. I have hanging skin between my legs ... not a pretty sight ... oh and the " lovely " apron that hangs ... and my boobs hang down ... What's your secret ... is it ... if you feel sexy ... then you are!?? Is it a state of mind?? Guys ... pipe in here ... thanks! --------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 ***Hey, I shouldn't be wasting this on the list -- I'm gonna cc it to my wife -- maybe I'll get lucky.... Dirty old man ******** , If you DON'T get lucky with that lovely post then there is something WRONG! What a lovely post that was! Debbie in Gig Harbor original RNY Jan. 1999 70 cm by-passed and 1oz pouch Dr. Weber, Seattle, WA Revision and additional by-pass Feb. 2001 by Dr. Weber, Seattle, WA 170cm by-passed TRANSECTED pouch Starting weight 320 lowest weight 200 current weight 215 (down from 267 before revision due to SLD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 Sarabelle....you almost make me change my mind about my decision to maintain my weight at a size 16/18. I dreaded the very thought of having to deal with the hanging skin issue. I admit to being very vain. Also, I'm not married or in a committed relationship at the momement. Surely, any man viewing sharpei skin for the first time would head for the hills! Surgery is not an option for me. So, I put the skids on my weight loss figuring that a firm, relatively toned size 16/18 is preferable to a droopy size 10 or 12. I admit I didn't think about foundations and stuff. However....at some point, it all has to come off, doesn't it? You did have me thinking...you have such a positive attitude about this. But, I think I'll celebrate dropping from a size 32w to a size 16. I like what I see in the mirror now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 < > Dropping from a 32 to a 16 IS something to celebrate for sure! But please don't stop there for no reason other than the hanging skin issues. If you don't already have hanging skin by this point, I can't imagine going down another couple of sizes is going to change you into the " elephant man " . Some sag...maybe, but not that much! You may be one of the fortunate ones who make the weight loss transition more gracefully than others. And besides which...when the foundations come off, there really isn't any heading for the hills going on 9 times out of 10. And I'm not just talking about those who are already blissfully attached to someone. I'm talking about the men who have never seen such a sight before! ASSUMING you have got that sexy attitude going on, they are BLINDED by your passion. I know that's tough to comprehend but it's the truth! I have access to a lot of men who have told me this about their experiences in this exact situation. They have no reason to tell me anything other than their true feelings on the matter. Our own vanity can really bog us down girls! I'm not saying you shouldn't care about how you look, but don't let it cloud what's really going on. As long as you are getting positive reactions from others, let THAT be your guide...rather than not believing it is possible to be desired with a less than perfect body. You can be the object of desire with hanging skin and all....BELIEVE!!! A. in Indy SRVG April 11 '00 from 278 to 152 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2002 Report Share Posted February 1, 2002 > " miamiglitter2002 " wrote: > But, I think I'll celebrate dropping from a size 32w to a size 16. I like what I see in the mirror now. and celebrate you should! That is a dramatic drop and what really matters is that YOU like what you see. On the other hand, men don't seem to really care about the skin, scars or any of it. The first time he ever saw that grand canyon scar of mine his only comment was that it looked like it still hurt... did he have to be careful? Then he pounced on me like a puma. To each their own, your comfort level is what is going to be of primary importance in this situation and if you're happy then I'm happy for you too. We need to be as comfortable with ourselves as possible and that is what really matters. belle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2002 Report Share Posted February 2, 2002 In a message dated 2/1/2002 6:49:37 AM Pacific Standard Time, philandersonwls@... writes: > Boxer-Briefs are now my best friend as far as keeping my thighs from > flapping. > Oh what a great idea and I am definitely pointing this post out to my husband! I love those things (even like the regular boxers) but my husband would never wear them. Now that he's getting self-conscious about his flapping thighs, I may have to prey on his ego in order to get what I want. < EG> Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2002 Report Share Posted February 5, 2002 I whole-heartily agree with this advice. I had all the sharpei wrinkles, the apron, the saggy thighs, and bony in some places, long legs and a big tummy when I met my guy. He's six years younger, long hair (I am after all a child of the sixties), gorgeous if I do say so, and used to " trophy " women. Imaging my shock when he asked me to dinner. When we met, I told him about my weight loss and my personal goals. He told me later, when we knew each other better, that he was blown away by my accomplishment and the look of confidence in my eyes. He said he saw in my eyes the woman I was determined to become. At that point in HIS life, he was tired of the " what have you done for me lately " kind of women who had always only depended on their looks to get the what they wanted. He was looking for an intelligent, attractive woman with substance. So you see, he fell in love with the best part of me, not the already done, tummy-tucked part. I'm really glad it happened that way. He has hung in there through the plastic surgery, the scars, my own search for identity and trying to learn how to be and feel sexy for the first time in my life. In fact, he's played a HUGE part in helping me see and find the sexy me inside. It really does come from inside, you know, that sexiness that men find attractive. If you are happy and comfortable in your size, then revel in it - wrinkles or no wrinkles. But don't let the fear of wrinkles make you settle. Just my opinion and experience, I could be wrong... judy --- cherryontop3 auntyb123@...> wrote: > < that a firm, > relatively toned size 16/18 is preferable to a > droopy size 10 or 12. > I admit I didn't think about foundations and stuff. > However....at > some point, it all has to come off, doesn't it? You > did have me > thinking...you have such a positive attitude about > this. But, I think > I'll celebrate dropping from a size 32w to a size > 16. I like what I > see in the mirror now. ?? >> > > Dropping from a 32 to a 16 IS something to celebrate > for sure! But > please don't stop there for no reason other than the > hanging skin > issues. If you don't already have hanging skin by > this point, I can't > imagine going down another couple of sizes is going > to change you > into the " elephant man " . Some sag...maybe, but not > that much! You may > be one of the fortunate ones who make the weight > loss transition more > gracefully than others. > > And besides which...when the foundations come off, > there really isn't > any heading for the hills going on 9 times out of > 10. And I'm not > just talking about those who are already blissfully > attached to > someone. I'm talking about the men who have never > seen such a sight > before! ASSUMING you have got that sexy attitude > going on, they are > BLINDED by your passion. I know that's tough to > comprehend but it's > the truth! I have access to a lot of men who have > told me this about > their experiences in this exact situation. They have > no reason to > tell me anything other than their true feelings on > the matter. > > Our own vanity can really bog us down girls! I'm not > saying you > shouldn't care about how you look, but don't let it > cloud what's > really going on. As long as you are getting positive > reactions from > others, let THAT be your guide...rather than not > believing it is > possible to be desired with a less than perfect > body. You can be the > object of desire with hanging skin and > all....BELIEVE!!! > > A. in Indy > SRVG April 11 '00 > from 278 to 152 > > > > > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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