NC for a week

[Guest guest]

Well, it will be a week tomorrow since I've had no contact with my nada and Dad.

It's been a tumultous week, with lots of therapy for me and for my dear 13 yr

old daughter, who is learning quickly what her grand-nada has done. I tried for

so long to protect her from it, from the cycle of insanity that life has become,

but recently I have been unable to protect her anymore. Really I'm glad that

she's aware, and that she understands, because it makes this break easier, and

it makes her realize I am not that bad guy.

I miss my Dad, and I miss the Mom that I don't have. It has taken most of the

week to convince my husband that I'm doing the right....the only thing I can do

here. Since nada split, and Dad took her side and kicked me (therefore us) out

of the house, I have to be strong enough not to grovel back. Again.

In a way I'm relieved that they haven't tried to see my daughter, although my

heart breaks for her, because I know they have been part of her life, and she

loves them. I also know that the lack of contact just confirms nada's illness

and lack of caring for anyone besides her.

I have seen my nada raise one child at a time to her pedestal, first me, then my

brother, then my nephew, then my daughter. I don't know who she has left to

idolize. I do know that she will not be allowed to place my daughter on a

pedestal anymore, and I will not let her have face to face contact with my

daughter until she speaks to me, and then it will be as I see fit.

I know many of you have nc with your nadas, and I'm glad for you, I was the

doormat for so long tho, and allowed her so much freedom with my daughter, but

no more. Not now, when she has made my daughter question whether she should be

on this earth. Not now that she has insulted me to my daughter. Not now that

she attempts to destroy what I've worked so hard to build with my daughter, her

confidence, her beauty, her strength. Not now, and never again. For my

daughter, I will stand up to her, and I will not allow her to put me or my

daughter in that place again. Yay for me!

[Guest guest]

Good for you!

I think it is good that your daughter is now aware and realizes

you aren't the bad guy in this. Children can not be protected

forever. I think things work out better in the long run when

they're allowed to understand and deal with issues in an

age-appropriate manner rather than just being protected from

everything.

At 09:02 AM 07/07/2012 tina b wrote:

>Well, it will be a week tomorrow since I've had no contact with

>my nada and Dad. It's been a tumultous week, with lots of

>therapy for me and for my dear 13 yr old daughter, who is

>learning quickly what her grand-nada has done. I tried for so

>long to protect her from it, from the cycle of insanity that

>life has become, but recently I have been unable to protect her

>anymore. Really I'm glad that she's aware, and that she

>understands, because it makes this break easier, and it makes

>her realize I am not that bad guy.

>

>I miss my Dad, and I miss the Mom that I don't have. It has

>taken most of the week to convince my husband that I'm doing

>the right....the only thing I can do here. Since nada split,

>and Dad took her side and kicked me (therefore us) out of the

>house, I have to be strong enough not to grovel back. Again.

>

>In a way I'm relieved that they haven't tried to see my

>daughter, although my heart breaks for her, because I know they

>have been part of her life, and she loves them. I also know

>that the lack of contact just confirms nada's illness and lack

>of caring for anyone besides her.

>

>I have seen my nada raise one child at a time to her pedestal,

>first me, then my brother, then my nephew, then my daughter. I

>don't know who she has left to idolize. I do know that she

>will not be allowed to place my daughter on a pedestal anymore,

>and I will not let her have face to face contact with my

>daughter until she speaks to me, and then it will be as I see

>fit.

>

>I know many of you have nc with your nadas, and I'm glad for

>you, I was the doormat for so long tho, and allowed her so much

>freedom with my daughter, but no more. Not now, when she has

>made my daughter question whether she should be on this

>earth. Not now that she has insulted me to my daughter. Not

>now that she attempts to destroy what I've worked so hard to

>build with my daughter, her confidence, her beauty, her

>strength. Not now, and never again. For my daughter, I will

>stand up to her, and I will not allow her to put me or my

>daughter in that place again. Yay for me!

>

--

Katrina