Guest guest Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 I wrote in my original email about nada limiting me to one bath a week, etc. But the other thing she became obsessed with was my clock radio. She would unplug it every morning and I had to reset the clock before going to bed. She said it was using electricity having it plugged in (without the radio turned on) during the day! Friends would often ask why the clock radio time was flashing whenever they came into my bedroom, lol! > > > > Jeanie, > > My nada made us ration too. Not to the extent yours did, however. Any light left on or tap running was cause to be screamed at. Or the tv left on when leaving a room. The shower (the only place I could get away from her) had a kitchen timer with 15 minutes set and placed on the bathroom sink. She just often forgot to enforce all the rules because she was focused on picking on someone else. > > > > Food was highly controlled. A roast must last 2-3 days. Bacon was cut in half, then everyone got 3-halves on their plate. A sandwich was to include only 1 piece of lunchmeat. My DH laughed at me when I brought these edicts into our relationship, finally making me see how silly they were. My father was limited to a 12 pk of beer each week--it's probably the only reason he never developed alcoholism from living with her. > > > > Nada did not, of course, limit herself. She had bacon sandwiches or bacon and eggs every day after people left for school/work. She gotall the choice leftovers. > > > > If my dad's income was cut or we had a relative stay with us for more than 2 days, nada would start the " stone soup " routine, telling all of us how we can't afford the lights and sewer, and making only economical soups for dinner. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Having family rules that apply to the whole family, every member, such as a rule about turning the light off or turning the TV off when you leave the room for more than just a bathroom break, or timing yourself so that your shower lasts under 10 minutes and things like that are fine and help reduce wasteful use of energy and water. But those with personality disorders (including obsessive/compulsive pd) take what ought to be normal, reasonable, rational rules and twist them into an extreme form, AND use their parental authority to apply the rules in a shaming, humiliating, harshly punitive way. Its very passive-aggressive and shows real hostility but in an indirect way to ration a person's access to water and food and electricity when its done selectively and/or in an extreme form, such as only one person in the family is subjected to rationing, or only the children are subjected to rationing, or nobody in the family is given regular or needed medical care, etc. That is more akin to the behavior of a sadistic prison guard than a parent. By treating the child like an incarcerated criminal whose access to food, water, the toilet, bathing, sanitary supplies, etc., is monitored and restricted (and used as a reward/punishment mechanism) the mentally ill parent doesn't have to openly say the words, " I resent you, I resent having to spend my time and money on you, and I wish you didn't exist " , their actions and treatment of the child says it, instead. Of course normal, mentally healthy parents need to be able to discipline their child in a rational, humane way if the child is misbehaving, but I'm talking about a chronic, daily habit of treating the child like a prisoner who has to be watched and who deserves to be punished ALL THE TIME, because the child is badness personified. That's different. I'll say it again: people who are THAT mentally ill, who are THAT impacted by personality disorder and THAT full of resentment toward their own child/children should not be raising the child alone and unsupervised. They're too irrational and paranoid, too self-absorbed, too seething with resentment, too lacking in common empathy and compassion to be solely responsible for a child's welfare and best interests. Its like handing over a toddler to a pedophile to babysit; the child will be in danger of sexual abuse. To me, the children of those with moderate to severe untreated bpd are equally in danger and ITS JUST AS WRONG to expose children to emotional abuse/neglect and physical abuse/neglect as it is to expose them to sexual predation. -Annie (the broken record) > > I wrote in my original email about nada limiting me to one bath a week, etc. But the other thing she became obsessed with was my clock radio. She would unplug it every morning and I had to reset the clock before going to bed. She said it was using electricity having it plugged in (without the radio turned on) during the day! Friends would often ask why the clock radio time was flashing whenever they came into my bedroom, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 Annie, I never think of you as a broken record. There are so many new people dropping in and others dropping away (for a while) from any message board, that information bears repeating. It's good, solid info and there's not nearly enough of it out there. This message board is like a little beacon of light in the darkness. Keep shining, Annie. AFB > > > > I wrote in my original email about nada limiting me to one bath a week, etc. But the other thing she became obsessed with was my clock radio. She would unplug it every morning and I had to reset the clock before going to bed. She said it was using electricity having it plugged in (without the radio turned on) during the day! Friends would often ask why the clock radio time was flashing whenever they came into my bedroom, lol! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 Thanks, AFB. I'm glad that we KOs can help each other and give support to each other here; so thank you Randi for creating this Group! -Annie > > Annie, I never think of you as a broken record. There are so many new people dropping in and others dropping away (for a while) from any message board, that information bears repeating. It's good, solid info and there's not nearly enough of it out there. This message board is like a little beacon of light in the darkness. Keep shining, Annie. > AFB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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