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Does the guilt ever end??

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My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of someone

that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

~

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,

I know for me the guilt part of FOG hasn't gone away yet. I was just talking

about that with DH today, telling him I am feeling so sickly guilty because I

haven't gone to see NADA in the nursing home in too long, even though I know

she's in capable hands.

But I know there are other people here who are further along in their journey to

wellness and I'm sure they'll be along shortly to offer insight.

Meanwhile try not to let her empty threats get to you. Like you say, she's not

under your care, so it's not your problem....

We were just raised to believe it is. Grrrr.

Em

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

>

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Just the mantra " Let it go " .  If its not one thing, it'll be another.  We've

all been there.  All of a sudden this past weekend its all my fault my 8 year

old acts like a typical 8 year old because his father left me (because of nada)

and we both give him to much etc... and back in her day there weren't divorces

and the kids weren't screwed up.  She didn't appreciate me reminding her that

her own mother was twice divorced, three times married.

 

Deep breath and know we're all there with you. 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2012 11:17 PM

Subject: Does the guilt ever end??

 

My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of someone

that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

~

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I have a great magnet right above my computer screen at work that helps me

through tough times with nada - Let Go or Be Dragged.

I am currently taking care of a 16 year old boy with severe autism this week so

his parents can go on their one vacation a year and nada told me she is jealous

and resentful of him because of the time he gets me and she doesn't.  She's

ridiculous.  

Hope everyone has a good week...!

________________________________

To: " WTOAdultChildren1 " WTOAdultChildren1 >

Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 9:07 AM

Subject: Re: Does the guilt ever end??

 

Just the mantra " Let it go " .  If its not one thing, it'll be another.  We've

all been there.  All of a sudden this past weekend its all my fault my 8 year

old acts like a typical 8 year old because his father left me (because of nada)

and we both give him to much etc... and back in her day there weren't divorces

and the kids weren't screwed up.  She didn't appreciate me reminding her that

her own mother was twice divorced, three times married.

 

Deep breath and know we're all there with you. 

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2012 11:17 PM

Subject: Does the guilt ever end??

 

My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of someone

that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

~

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Thanks Em, it's just so nice to know that I'm not alone. That is amazing after

years of feeling like I was crazy.

I love " Grrrrr " ...that sums up a great deal of what I'm feeling :)

~

>

> > My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long

ago) and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

> >

> > She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state

is taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for

neglecting me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and

that's why she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

> >

> > I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

> >

> > Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

> >

> > New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

> >

> > ~

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

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Thanks , I've been taking a lot of deep breaths and am so happy there are

people here who can relate. It all seems like so much to handle in my own world

but just knowing that you all are here is like weights taken off my shoulders.

Empathy is an amazing thing.

Thanks for the response ~

>

> Just the mantra " Let it go " .  If its not one thing, it'll be another.  We've

all been there.  All of a sudden this past weekend its all my fault my 8 year

old acts like a typical 8 year old because his father left me (because of nada)

and we both give him to much etc... and back in her day there weren't divorces

and the kids weren't screwed up.  She didn't appreciate me reminding her that

her own mother was twice divorced, three times married.

>  

> Deep breath and know we're all there with you. 

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: kola4280

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2012 11:17 PM

> Subject: Does the guilt ever end??

>

>

>

>  

>

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

LOL....LOVE the magnet! That is so true and so right for KO's.

Thanks for that, it made me smile...you are great for taking care of that boy

and don't let nada make you feel anything negative!

~

>

> I have a great magnet right above my computer screen at work that helps me

through tough times with nada - Let Go or Be Dragged.

>

> I am currently taking care of a 16 year old boy with severe autism this week

so his parents can go on their one vacation a year and nada told me she is

jealous and resentful of him because of the time he gets me and she doesn't. 

She's ridiculous.  

>

> Hope everyone has a good week...!

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: Batty

> To: " WTOAdultChildren1 " WTOAdultChildren1 >

> Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 9:07 AM

> Subject: Re: Does the guilt ever end??

>

>

>  

> Just the mantra " Let it go " .  If its not one thing, it'll be another.  We've

all been there.  All of a sudden this past weekend its all my fault my 8 year

old acts like a typical 8 year old because his father left me (because of nada)

and we both give him to much etc... and back in her day there weren't divorces

and the kids weren't screwed up.  She didn't appreciate me reminding her that

her own mother was twice divorced, three times married.

>  

> Deep breath and know we're all there with you. 

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: kola4280

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2012 11:17 PM

> Subject: Does the guilt ever end??

>

>

>  

>

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

>

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After working at a nursing home for 20 years, that has a child care on site the

general saying is " while both groups act the same at least with the kids there's

hope they will grow up and out of the behavior! "

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 9:38 AM

Subject: Re: Does the guilt ever end??

 

LOL....LOVE the magnet! That is so true and so right for KO's.

Thanks for that, it made me smile...you are great for taking care of that boy

and don't let nada make you feel anything negative!

~

>

> I have a great magnet right above my computer screen at work that helps me

through tough times with nada - Let Go or Be Dragged.

>

> I am currently taking care of a 16 year old boy with severe autism this week

so his parents can go on their one vacation a year and nada told me she is

jealous and resentful of him because of the time he gets me and she doesn't. 

She's ridiculous.  

>

> Hope everyone has a good week...!

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: Batty

> To: " mailto:WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com "

> Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 9:07 AM

> Subject: Re: Does the guilt ever end??

>

>

>  

> Just the mantra " Let it go " .  If its not one thing, it'll be another. 

We've all been there.  All of a sudden this past weekend its all my fault my

8 year old acts like a typical 8 year old because his father left me (because of

nada) and we both give him to much etc... and back in her day there weren't

divorces and the kids weren't screwed up.  She didn't appreciate me reminding

her that her own mother was twice divorced, three times married.

>  

> Deep breath and know we're all there with you. 

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: kola4280

> To: mailto:WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com

> Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2012 11:17 PM

> Subject: Does the guilt ever end??

>

>

>  

>

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

>

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I wish I knew. I think you're right that no one will prosecute you for " neglect "

if she's not in your care. Abuse they can but there's no signs of that. I was

worried for a long time that my nada would tell her doctor that every little

bruise she got came from me. After all, she told them a couple years ago that we

were taking financial advantage of her. Had to deal with Adult Protection

Services over that one but they've heard it all and know how elderly people can

get.

The emotions BPD parents trigger in us are visceral; they grab you when you

least expect it. A look, a comment, an all out attack from nada will literally

give me diarrhea and I'll go through a long list of emotions that can quickly

spin out of control. All I can do is take time to talk to myself, remind myself

that I haven't done anything wrong. I have to convince myself that she's done

this before and will pull this nonsense again. I can't allow myself to care. The

worst that can happen is she may never talk to me again. Is that really such a

bad thing? LOL

I'm sorry. I do know how gut wrenching this is but we have to fight for our

lives. We have to protect ourselves. Keep reminding yourself that you are

innocent of whatever she's saying. Eventually all her nonsense will catch up

with her. I'm gradually seeing it happen with my nada and it feels good. The

neighbors, the doctors are catching on. Whew.

>

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

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Guest guest

so sorry that you have to dragged into feeling guilty (love the magnet by the

way). The guilt is something that is so ingrained in all of us I think, that we

don't know how to function without it. Often I find myself happy now that I am

NC and every so often I will get a pang of guilt for it. Somehow, we were told

that we have to be responsible for their happiness. That is a huge burden to

place on your children.

My therapist told me once that I have to talk myself out of the guilt. Saying

things like " she made her choice " or " I can no longer tolerate being manipulated

like this " helps dig me out of my guilt.

Her calling you and telling you that the police will call you is a ridiculous

form of manipulation. Like all of our nadas, they will do anything to sound like

the victim. She probably told a sob story to the nurses or whomever was there

and they made a silly comment to her and she took it somewhere else.

Choose to live your life guilt free. You deserve to be happy.

Aj

>

> My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long ago)

and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

>

> She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state is

taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for neglecting

me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and that's why

she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

>

> I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

>

> Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

>

> New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

>

> ~

>

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Guest guest

LOVE THE MAGNET!! I've got to find one and put it all prominent places!

Yes, the support here is awesome, and it really does help to stay grounded and

help you realize what is " real " and what is " nada reality " which is all too

different. Don't let her make you think you've done anything to her.

I had to deal with my brother too before he passed away, and he could call me in

the middle of the night and tell me I had to come downtown to pick him up

because he was being followed. I would tell him I won't do that and put myself

in danger, and he'd say things like " Well I'm going to die, and it's going to be

all your fault. " That took a few times for me to realize none of that was going

to happen, and it's my responsibility to take care of him. It took me many more

years to come to that realization with my mother...

Good luck on your journey...we're all here to listen!!

And I like " Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! " Too!!

> >

> > My nada was just admitted into the hospital again (lost count long, long

ago) and as much as I know logically I shouldn't, the guild just won't go away.

> >

> > She called and left me a voicemail from the hospital stating that the state

is taking over her case and that they may " prosecute my whole family for

neglecting me " . She went on with some details about how she cares about me and

that's why she's letting me know that I may be prosecuted....wth?????

> >

> > I know logically that I cannot be prosecuted for failing to take care of

someone that is not legally under my care, nor should I feel like it even makes

sense...however, the " rescuer " in me wants to fix it and feels like I should

have done something for nada.

> >

> > Does the guilt ever end? Does anyone have any good books or tools you use to

help remind you it isn't your fault and there was nothing you could do?

> >

> > New here and appreciate you and all your journey's,

> >

> > ~

> >

>

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