Just starting to connect the dots...

[Guest guest]

I have a stepdaughter that is BPD and who I have discontinued talking to because

I can't take the abuse any longer. In the course of researching all this I

have begun to really wonder if my deceased mother also suffered from this as

well. She died from alcoholism but had tons of inappropriate anger in her life

time. Which leads me to wonder how I fit in here? I am in recovery for 30

years and married for 15 so far..this being my second marriage. I am going over

my own behavior to see if I exhibit any signs of BPD and it is nerve racking.

Can anyone relate?? Just wonder what my first steps in all this need to be. I

have been in therapy in the past and to be honest this topic never came up.

Currently I am working overseas in India but I keep up with recovery issue via

Internet. The closest I ever felt like drinking lately in my recovery was

dealing with my stepdaughter and her side of the family. I had strong emotional

reactions to the whole thing and it was a therapist that she saw with her dad

that pointed this whole BPD thing out to both of us.

[Guest guest]

I think the first thing you need to do it find a good therapist that is familiar

with BPD. Oddly enough many aren't very knowledgeable about the disorder. I

think a lot of us KO's exhibit BPD behavior, and that is what we call " fleas " ,

which are basically learned behaviors from being around a BPD. The difference

between fleas and real BPD is that we can recognize fleas and take steps to help

get rid of the behaviors/emotions. BPDs basically have the inability to take a

step back, realize what they are doing or how they are acting is abnormal. So by

not being able to do that they can never change these thoughts and behaviors. I

really think therapy is KEY, but it has to be the right therapist. I went

through many who helped me feel better just because I got things off my chest,

but didn't help me take action to get rid of my fleas. I have been seeing my

current T for 10 years now (off and on) and she has changed my life. I will be

forever grateful to her. Good luck with your continuing recovery.

>

> I have a stepdaughter that is BPD and who I have discontinued talking to

because I can't take the abuse any longer. In the course of researching all

this I have begun to really wonder if my deceased mother also suffered from this

as well. She died from alcoholism but had tons of inappropriate anger in her

life time. Which leads me to wonder how I fit in here? I am in recovery for 30

years and married for 15 so far..this being my second marriage. I am going over

my own behavior to see if I exhibit any signs of BPD and it is nerve racking.

Can anyone relate?? Just wonder what my first steps in all this need to be. I

have been in therapy in the past and to be honest this topic never came up.

Currently I am working overseas in India but I keep up with recovery issue via

Internet. The closest I ever felt like drinking lately in my recovery was

dealing with my stepdaughter and her side of the family. I had strong emotional

reactions to the whole thing and it was a therapist that she saw with her dad

that pointed this whole BPD thing out to both of us.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi! I definately believe that finding the right therapist is key when

recognizing a family member is borderline. About 5 months ago, I was at a

breaking point in my life. I am recently married and was realizing a great

amount of my behaviors were damaging when under stress. Not knowing what else to

do I called to speak to a therapist. Within 30 minutes she asked me to research

Borderline Personality Disorder and believed that this was the problem with my

mother. In these long 5 months my life has significantly changed. My mother has

become more aggressive and is exibiting behaviors that are damaging to myself

and my husband. Not only have I learned that my mother is borderline, but so is

my brother, grandmother, and all three of my uncles. To me it's the equivalent

of grieving the loss of an entire family. It's a long road ahead but I know that

in the end I will be a better person for handling my " fleas. " My husband has

been supportive and assures me everyday that " nothing is wrong " with me. It's

nice to be a part of this group and know there are others that are in my

position. For a long time I felt that nobody else was.

> >

> > I have a stepdaughter that is BPD and who I have discontinued talking to

because I can't take the abuse any longer. In the course of researching all

this I have begun to really wonder if my deceased mother also suffered from this

as well. She died from alcoholism but had tons of inappropriate anger in her

life time. Which leads me to wonder how I fit in here? I am in recovery for 30

years and married for 15 so far..this being my second marriage. I am going over

my own behavior to see if I exhibit any signs of BPD and it is nerve racking.

Can anyone relate?? Just wonder what my first steps in all this need to be. I

have been in therapy in the past and to be honest this topic never came up.

Currently I am working overseas in India but I keep up with recovery issue via

Internet. The closest I ever felt like drinking lately in my recovery was

dealing with my stepdaughter and her side of the family. I had strong emotional

reactions to the whole thing and it was a therapist that she saw with her dad

that pointed this whole BPD thing out to both of us.

> >

>