Re: Am I overreacting?

[Guest guest]

,

I would probably feel hurt by this too...but on the other hand there may be

things going on behind the scenes that your friend isn't telling you. Like maybe

her husband has put the kibosh on her taking your kids for half a day - he wants

his family to himself or they are having an ongoing issue they need to resolve.

I can think of several scenarios like that.

Honestly, though, I don't really think it's a flea, I think you're just feeling

a bit hurt and let down, especially as she tells you that you're " family. " I

wish I lived close - I'd take your kids for you!

> I'm pretty hurt right now. We are moving to a new house about 40 miles away on

Sat. I can not find ANYONE to watch my 3y old and 19m old while we move and

clean. I am NC with my family, and my husband's family lives in another state. I

asked my best friend if she could watch them for 1/2 a day, either morning or

afternoon. She said no. To be fair- her husband has been away on a business trip

for 10 days and her kids are a handful so I know she's very tired. Plus I am

sure they are dying to spend time with their daddy. I just wonder why my kids

can't join in the fun for 1/2 day when they know we really need help? I am not

sure if this is hurtful or if I am hypersensitive. I am always telling myself

that my friends are my family since I have no real FOO. I struggle with this as

I feel lonely a lot because of this. My friend is always telling me I am family,

but I just feel in my heart of hearts if I was her " real " sister she would help.

> Not sure of this is just a flea. Any thoughts?

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

It does hurt. As much as we'd like our friends to be family when we don't have

a FOO, they aren't family in many (maybe any) cases. Or if they become family

it takes a lot longer than you might think (I'd say a few decades). People have

their own families and that's where the priority usually is. That's been my

experience at least. It's interesting that she says you're family though.

I don't think you're being hypersensitive. It sounds like she created the

expectation that she would be there when you really needed her and she isn't.

So naturally it will feel like a betrayal. I think even when we do have family,

they aren't always there for us when we need them and they do betray us from

time to time, but it's different when you've never had that person who was

consistently there for you like family is supposed to be.

I have been nc with FOO for many, many years (bpd sis most recently, but she's

been out of my life more than she's been in it. I've just accepted I am an

orphan, and being an orphan is a different experience. It also just does hurt

in a whole range of ways. I wish I had something comforting to say, but I

don't. Just that you aren't alone. Although it may look like everyone else out

there has FOO, they don't. You aren't the only orphan out there.

Take care,

Ashana

[Guest guest]

That's a really good way to put it- " orphan " . My big fear has always been that

when push comes to shove, I am not " family " to my friends. Two of my friends

have now really demonstrated this to me. How depressing. I'm really mourning

over this orphan thing. I know I am not alone, but as orphans we really sort of

are. I'm just tired of not having any help. I'm tired of feeling heartsick about

having no FOO (a healthy one, I mean).

>

> ,

>

> It does hurt. As much as we'd like our friends to be family when we don't

have a FOO, they aren't family in many (maybe any) cases. Or if they become

family it takes a lot longer than you might think (I'd say a few decades).

People have their own families and that's where the priority usually is. That's

been my experience at least. It's interesting that she says you're family

though.

>

> I don't think you're being hypersensitive. It sounds like she created the

expectation that she would be there when you really needed her and she isn't.

So naturally it will feel like a betrayal. I think even when we do have family,

they aren't always there for us when we need them and they do betray us from

time to time, but it's different when you've never had that person who was

consistently there for you like family is supposed to be.

>

> I have been nc with FOO for many, many years (bpd sis most recently, but she's

been out of my life more than she's been in it. I've just accepted I am an

orphan, and being an orphan is a different experience. It also just does hurt

in a whole range of ways. I wish I had something comforting to say, but I

don't. Just that you aren't alone. Although it may look like everyone else out

there has FOO, they don't. You aren't the only orphan out there.

>

> Take care,

> Ashana

>

[Guest guest]

,

I think you are overreacting but I do understand.  Your friend saying " no " may

be a trigger for past FOO contact, and you are in the process of a move which is

stressful.  I have three sisters and we have each told each other no at times.

 It wasn't a personal attack but in that moment/situation we did not have the

resources the other needed.  

Evaluate your friend not helping you in this instance with your other

interaction with her.  Does she always say no?  Are there times when she says

yes?  You must have thought she was reliable to ask her to watch your children

so maybe she is just overwhelmed right now or she knows the prior commitments

she made for the day.  

I have recently noticed with my " Family of Friends " I have allowed some people

in who were surrogates for FOO members who I had diminished contact.  In the

past six months, two friendships have been allowed to phase out.  Try to make

sure you are picking friends that are healthy towards you and can share in a

give & take relationship.  

Try to find a daycare in the area that has weekend/ emergency / back up services

as you may need to rely on a service in the future.

Good luck with your move.  Remember once the " dust settles " you will enjoy your

new space.

Peace & Blessings!

MyReality67

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:00 PM

Subject: Re: Am I overreacting?

 

That's a really good way to put it- " orphan " . My big fear has always been that

when push comes to shove, I am not " family " to my friends. Two of my friends

have now really demonstrated this to me. How depressing. I'm really mourning

over this orphan thing. I know I am not alone, but as orphans we really sort of

are. I'm just tired of not having any help. I'm tired of feeling heartsick about

having no FOO (a healthy one, I mean).

>

> ,

>

> It does hurt. As much as we'd like our friends to be family when we don't

have a FOO, they aren't family in many (maybe any) cases. Or if they become

family it takes a lot longer than you might think (I'd say a few decades).

People have their own families and that's where the priority usually is. That's

been my experience at least. It's interesting that she says you're family

though.

>

> I don't think you're being hypersensitive. It sounds like she created the

expectation that she would be there when you really needed her and she isn't.

So naturally it will feel like a betrayal. I think even when we do have family,

they aren't always there for us when we need them and they do betray us from

time to time, but it's different when you've never had that person who was

consistently there for you like family is supposed to be.

>

> I have been nc with FOO for many, many years (bpd sis most recently, but she's

been out of my life more than she's been in it. I've just accepted I am an

orphan, and being an orphan is a different experience. It also just does hurt

in a whole range of ways. I wish I had something comforting to say, but I

don't. Just that you aren't alone. Although it may look like everyone else out

there has FOO, they don't. You aren't the only orphan out there.

>

> Take care,

> Ashana

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I think when push comes to shove, you probably aren't. I think when your

therapist says you need to make your own family, s/he's missing something

important. I think in wanting to help us feel better, sometimes Ts gloss over

some of the seriousness of the losses we have. Sometimes, I think they end up

trying to " fix " us when what we need is a witness. There is just a terrible

grief in not having been liked or appreciated or having someone who was

consistently caring towards you when you were small and that grief has to be

faced in some way. You were robbed of what was rightfully yours.

I was reading in another of your posts how you feel you don't have any roots and

I was really struck by that, because that's exactly how I used to feel. I'm

glad you shared that, because it so resonates with me. As I've worked with some

of my earlier traumatic memories, I don't feel that way anymore because I feel

like I know where I've come from and who I was.

Now, you can still get the warmth and support you need, but it's not the same as

a FOO. There is just something different about it. Also, no one needs to love

you because they " have " to. People will love you and care about you just

because you're a worthwhile person. Your FOO " had " to love you, but they

didn't. Other people will love you because they choose to.

At the same time, as I talk to people about their interactions with

dysfunctional family, I am sometimes glad to be spared that. Mine was so bad I

don't have to figure out how to deal with them. There is no dealing with them.

I actually have 2 friends who have said I am like family to them. I've known

them for 20 and 25 years. But they don't feel like family to me--I'm not sure

what family actually means, but whatever it is has taken more than half my life

for them. Also, I notice this still doesn't mean they invite me to Christmas

dinner.

What's helped me recently is having one relationship with a significant other

that I feel really cares for me and who is consistently there. For me, one

person is enough that I don't feel alone, even if actually when it comes to day

to day catastrophes I'm on my own. Also, I was in foster care as a toddler, and

I remember that my foster parents cared. The grief of losing them was too

painful for a long time to access that sense of being cared about.

I'm sorry this is so long and disjointed. Thanks for bringing this up.

Take care,

Ashana

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your honest opinion. I know I am hypersensitive when it comes to

this type of thing. I feel like sometimes I fall into the thinking " If you

really loved me, you would do this for me. " I know that is a flea from nada and

I hate it. I wish I could feel more secure in my friendships and know that I am

loved, even if they can't help me out. And if they do legitimately hurt my

feelings, that doesn't mean I don't matter. I know all this with my brain, my

heart can't seem to get the message.

> >

> > ,

> >

> > It does hurt. As much as we'd like our friends to be family when we don't

have a FOO, they aren't family in many (maybe any) cases. Or if they become

family it takes a lot longer than you might think (I'd say a few decades).

People have their own families and that's where the priority usually is. That's

been my experience at least. It's interesting that she says you're family

though.

> >

> > I don't think you're being hypersensitive. It sounds like she created the

expectation that she would be there when you really needed her and she isn't.

So naturally it will feel like a betrayal. I think even when we do have family,

they aren't always there for us when we need them and they do betray us from

time to time, but it's different when you've never had that person who was

consistently there for you like family is supposed to be.

> >

> > I have been nc with FOO for many, many years (bpd sis most recently, but

she's been out of my life more than she's been in it. I've just accepted I am an

orphan, and being an orphan is a different experience. It also just does hurt

in a whole range of ways. I wish I had something comforting to say, but I

don't. Just that you aren't alone. Although it may look like everyone else out

there has FOO, they don't. You aren't the only orphan out there.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Ashana

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad you find so much comfort in your significant other. My husband actually

said last night after I posted this that sometimes I make him feel like he is

not enough for me, and he feels our little family is all he needs. I feel

terrible about that. Why isn't it enough? It SHOULD be. I feel like I am being a

whiny baby. Its just I feel so WOUNDED about the FOO thing. And I do agree, no

FOO is better than a dysfunctional, toxic BPD one.

>

> Hi ,

>

> I think when push comes to shove, you probably aren't. I think when your

therapist says you need to make your own family, s/he's missing something

important. I think in wanting to help us feel better, sometimes Ts gloss over

some of the seriousness of the losses we have. Sometimes, I think they end up

trying to " fix " us when what we need is a witness. There is just a terrible

grief in not having been liked or appreciated or having someone who was

consistently caring towards you when you were small and that grief has to be

faced in some way. You were robbed of what was rightfully yours.

>

> I was reading in another of your posts how you feel you don't have any roots

and I was really struck by that, because that's exactly how I used to feel. I'm

glad you shared that, because it so resonates with me. As I've worked with some

of my earlier traumatic memories, I don't feel that way anymore because I feel

like I know where I've come from and who I was.

>

> Now, you can still get the warmth and support you need, but it's not the same

as a FOO. There is just something different about it. Also, no one needs to

love you because they " have " to. People will love you and care about you just

because you're a worthwhile person. Your FOO " had " to love you, but they

didn't. Other people will love you because they choose to.

>

> At the same time, as I talk to people about their interactions with

dysfunctional family, I am sometimes glad to be spared that. Mine was so bad I

don't have to figure out how to deal with them. There is no dealing with them.

>

> I actually have 2 friends who have said I am like family to them. I've known

them for 20 and 25 years. But they don't feel like family to me--I'm not sure

what family actually means, but whatever it is has taken more than half my life

for them. Also, I notice this still doesn't mean they invite me to Christmas

dinner.

>

> What's helped me recently is having one relationship with a significant other

that I feel really cares for me and who is consistently there. For me, one

person is enough that I don't feel alone, even if actually when it comes to day

to day catastrophes I'm on my own. Also, I was in foster care as a toddler, and

I remember that my foster parents cared. The grief of losing them was too

painful for a long time to access that sense of being cared about.

>

> I'm sorry this is so long and disjointed. Thanks for bringing this up.

>

> Take care,

> Ashana

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks . =)

>

> > I'm pretty hurt right now. We are moving to a new house about 40 miles away

on Sat. I can not find ANYONE to watch my 3y old and 19m old while we move and

clean. I am NC with my family, and my husband's family lives in another state. I

asked my best friend if she could watch them for 1/2 a day, either morning or

afternoon. She said no. To be fair- her husband has been away on a business trip

for 10 days and her kids are a handful so I know she's very tired. Plus I am

sure they are dying to spend time with their daddy. I just wonder why my kids

can't join in the fun for 1/2 day when they know we really need help? I am not

sure if this is hurtful or if I am hypersensitive. I am always telling myself

that my friends are my family since I have no real FOO. I struggle with this as

I feel lonely a lot because of this. My friend is always telling me I am family,

but I just feel in my heart of hearts if I was her " real " sister she would help.

> > Not sure of this is just a flea. Any thoughts?

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, it would probably give you a much greater sense of security and peace

of mind if, after you move, you can tackle the project of finding various

in-person services in your area, such as (as was earlier suggested) child

day-care providers who offer off-hours or emergency babysitting services, which

can then be the reliable " back-up plan " for unexpected situations that crop up,

for you to utilize when a friend isn't available to help you out. Perhaps your

children's new pediatrician will have some child day-care provider services to

recommend, possibly, or advice on where to get some recommendations.

Getting to know your new neighbors/neighborhood, joining a church (if you are

religious) in the new area, checking out meet-up groups in your area geared for

families to engage in fun, kid-oriented activities together, joining the local

YMCA or " Mommy and Me " classes that offer parent-child activities, etc., so that

you can develop a wider community of acquaintances and (in time) friends with

whom you can both give and receive support and companionship. Perhaps get to

know the families of your husband's co-workers, who may live in your area; that

could be a good source of support and eventual friendship as well.

Truly, this WILL take time and effort on your part, but I'm guessing that

having a wider and more varied range of acquaintances, paid service providers

and sooner or later real friends available to you will make you feel less

anxious, lonely and isolated.

Just because your husband isn't interested in making friends or having couple

friends doesn't make it wrong for you to want and need friends. I personally

think its healthy for a full-time at-home mother to have women friends and

activities and interests, aka a little " me time " during the week, to get your

socialization needs met, and so your children can become used to other adults

and other children and become socialized as well. That just sounds normal and

healthy to me.

Its like having adequate health insurance and life insurance; having a circle of

acquaintances, neighbors and friends for mutual support and companionship gives

you peace of mind to know that you and your children are " covered. "

I hope that helps.

-Annie

> >

> > Hi ,

> >

> > I think when push comes to shove, you probably aren't. I think when your

therapist says you need to make your own family, s/he's missing something

important. I think in wanting to help us feel better, sometimes Ts gloss over

some of the seriousness of the losses we have. Sometimes, I think they end up

trying to " fix " us when what we need is a witness. There is just a terrible

grief in not having been liked or appreciated or having someone who was

consistently caring towards you when you were small and that grief has to be

faced in some way. You were robbed of what was rightfully yours.

> >

> > I was reading in another of your posts how you feel you don't have any roots

and I was really struck by that, because that's exactly how I used to feel. I'm

glad you shared that, because it so resonates with me. As I've worked with some

of my earlier traumatic memories, I don't feel that way anymore because I feel

like I know where I've come from and who I was.

> >

> > Now, you can still get the warmth and support you need, but it's not the

same as a FOO. There is just something different about it. Also, no one needs

to love you because they " have " to. People will love you and care about you

just because you're a worthwhile person. Your FOO " had " to love you, but they

didn't. Other people will love you because they choose to.

> >

> > At the same time, as I talk to people about their interactions with

dysfunctional family, I am sometimes glad to be spared that. Mine was so bad I

don't have to figure out how to deal with them. There is no dealing with them.

> >

> > I actually have 2 friends who have said I am like family to them. I've

known them for 20 and 25 years. But they don't feel like family to me--I'm not

sure what family actually means, but whatever it is has taken more than half my

life for them. Also, I notice this still doesn't mean they invite me to

Christmas dinner.

> >

> > What's helped me recently is having one relationship with a significant

other that I feel really cares for me and who is consistently there. For me,

one person is enough that I don't feel alone, even if actually when it comes to

day to day catastrophes I'm on my own. Also, I was in foster care as a toddler,

and I remember that my foster parents cared. The grief of losing them was too

painful for a long time to access that sense of being cared about.

> >

> > I'm sorry this is so long and disjointed. Thanks for bringing this up.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Ashana

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I so get what you have been talking about in these posts. I've been there. Let

your heart feel the grief even if it is misplaced or an overreaction. My

experience tells me that stuffing grief makes it worse and giving it expression,

though hard, in time makes it better.

Interestingly, I am in a position right now with a very close, long-term friend

who wants support from me in a certain form that is tough for me to give because

of my own limitations. She feels hurt about it and I know that the depth of her

hurt does not have to do with me. It is grief associated with her dysfunctional

foo and how she has not been supported historically by them. I feel like one of

the things I CAN do to support her (and there are many) is to allow her to talk

about the extent of her feelings about it and even cry about it with me there to

comfort her.

As a foo orphan myself, and as a mother who recently went through a move with

two kids, I truly understand what you are feeling. My wish for you is that you

keep asking for help as you need it and that let yourself feel whatever sadness

comes up for you if you don't get it. I actually think this might be healing

for you. It has been over the years for me.

HC

> >

> > Hi ,

> >

> > I think when push comes to shove, you probably aren't. I think when your

therapist says you need to make your own family, s/he's missing something

important. I think in wanting to help us feel better, sometimes Ts gloss over

some of the seriousness of the losses we have. Sometimes, I think they end up

trying to " fix " us when what we need is a witness. There is just a terrible

grief in not having been liked or appreciated or having someone who was

consistently caring towards you when you were small and that grief has to be

faced in some way. You were robbed of what was rightfully yours.

> >

> > I was reading in another of your posts how you feel you don't have any roots

and I was really struck by that, because that's exactly how I used to feel. I'm

glad you shared that, because it so resonates with me. As I've worked with some

of my earlier traumatic memories, I don't feel that way anymore because I feel

like I know where I've come from and who I was.

> >

> > Now, you can still get the warmth and support you need, but it's not the

same as a FOO. There is just something different about it. Also, no one needs

to love you because they " have " to. People will love you and care about you

just because you're a worthwhile person. Your FOO " had " to love you, but they

didn't. Other people will love you because they choose to.

> >

> > At the same time, as I talk to people about their interactions with

dysfunctional family, I am sometimes glad to be spared that. Mine was so bad I

don't have to figure out how to deal with them. There is no dealing with them.

> >

> > I actually have 2 friends who have said I am like family to them. I've

known them for 20 and 25 years. But they don't feel like family to me--I'm not

sure what family actually means, but whatever it is has taken more than half my

life for them. Also, I notice this still doesn't mean they invite me to

Christmas dinner.

> >

> > What's helped me recently is having one relationship with a significant

other that I feel really cares for me and who is consistently there. For me,

one person is enough that I don't feel alone, even if actually when it comes to

day to day catastrophes I'm on my own. Also, I was in foster care as a toddler,

and I remember that my foster parents cared. The grief of losing them was too

painful for a long time to access that sense of being cared about.

> >

> > I'm sorry this is so long and disjointed. Thanks for bringing this up.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Ashana

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Everyone has a right to say no.

You also have a right to feel hurt; however it doesn't have to mean your friend

isn't a " real " friend just because she can't meet your needs. It doesn't have to

be all-or-nothing.

I can understand the feeling of panic and anger at not being able to find a

sitter. BTDT. You've mentioned family and this friend...Who else have you asked?

Other friends? Know any teenagers you can pay to babysit? People at church?

" Drop-in " type day cares? Neighbors?

Sveta

>

> I'm pretty hurt right now. We are moving to a new house about 40 miles away on

Sat. I can not find ANYONE to watch my 3y old and 19m old while we move and

clean. I am NC with my family, and my husband's family lives in another state. I

asked my best friend if she could watch them for 1/2 a day, either morning or

afternoon. She said no. To be fair- her husband has been away on a business trip

for 10 days and her kids are a handful so I know she's very tired. Plus I am

sure they are dying to spend time with their daddy. I just wonder why my kids

can't join in the fun for 1/2 day when they know we really need help? I am not

sure if this is hurtful or if I am hypersensitive. I am always telling myself

that my friends are my family since I have no real FOO. I struggle with this as

I feel lonely a lot because of this. My friend is always telling me I am family,

but I just feel in my heart of hearts if I was her " real " sister she would help.

> Not sure of this is just a flea. Any thoughts?

>

[Guest guest]

What does BTDT mean? I have asked everyone I know that's even a remote

possibility- offering to pay most people. It's just one of those unfortunate

times when everyone I know just can't do it on that particular day.

Ironically it's all a moot point anyway, because my dtr woke up sick this

morning (fever, sore throat, cough), so even if I had found someone it still

wouldn't have worked out.

> >

> > I'm pretty hurt right now. We are moving to a new house about 40 miles away

on Sat. I can not find ANYONE to watch my 3y old and 19m old while we move and

clean. I am NC with my family, and my husband's family lives in another state. I

asked my best friend if she could watch them for 1/2 a day, either morning or

afternoon. She said no. To be fair- her husband has been away on a business trip

for 10 days and her kids are a handful so I know she's very tired. Plus I am

sure they are dying to spend time with their daddy. I just wonder why my kids

can't join in the fun for 1/2 day when they know we really need help? I am not

sure if this is hurtful or if I am hypersensitive. I am always telling myself

that my friends are my family since I have no real FOO. I struggle with this as

I feel lonely a lot because of this. My friend is always telling me I am family,

but I just feel in my heart of hearts if I was her " real " sister she would help.

> > Not sure of this is just a flea. Any thoughts?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Annie,

You bring up a good point. I have a handful of good friends but I do not have a

large network of friends that could offer " you watch my kids, I'll watch yours " .

The first thing I'm going to do up there is find two babysitters (one for back

up). My dtr is starting a church preschool so I can probably find someone

through them. Then I'm going to meetup.com to meet some playgroups. I think you

are on to something- I know myself and I *will* feel more secure if I have a

larger net to fall on. Thank you. Yours and Ashana's posts have always been so

helpful, now and back when I was on a few years ago and nada was dying. Back

then I was under the name mozzarella66, most people called me " Mozz " . I know

there are a ton of people coming and going on this site so you may not remember

me, but I will always always remember you!

> > >

> > > Hi ,

> > >

> > > I think when push comes to shove, you probably aren't. I think when your

therapist says you need to make your own family, s/he's missing something

important. I think in wanting to help us feel better, sometimes Ts gloss over

some of the seriousness of the losses we have. Sometimes, I think they end up

trying to " fix " us when what we need is a witness. There is just a terrible

grief in not having been liked or appreciated or having someone who was

consistently caring towards you when you were small and that grief has to be

faced in some way. You were robbed of what was rightfully yours.

> > >

> > > I was reading in another of your posts how you feel you don't have any

roots and I was really struck by that, because that's exactly how I used to

feel. I'm glad you shared that, because it so resonates with me. As I've

worked with some of my earlier traumatic memories, I don't feel that way anymore

because I feel like I know where I've come from and who I was.

> > >

> > > Now, you can still get the warmth and support you need, but it's not the

same as a FOO. There is just something different about it. Also, no one needs

to love you because they " have " to. People will love you and care about you

just because you're a worthwhile person. Your FOO " had " to love you, but they

didn't. Other people will love you because they choose to.

> > >

> > > At the same time, as I talk to people about their interactions with

dysfunctional family, I am sometimes glad to be spared that. Mine was so bad I

don't have to figure out how to deal with them. There is no dealing with them.

> > >

> > > I actually have 2 friends who have said I am like family to them. I've

known them for 20 and 25 years. But they don't feel like family to me--I'm not

sure what family actually means, but whatever it is has taken more than half my

life for them. Also, I notice this still doesn't mean they invite me to

Christmas dinner.

> > >

> > > What's helped me recently is having one relationship with a significant

other that I feel really cares for me and who is consistently there. For me,

one person is enough that I don't feel alone, even if actually when it comes to

day to day catastrophes I'm on my own. Also, I was in foster care as a toddler,

and I remember that my foster parents cared. The grief of losing them was too

painful for a long time to access that sense of being cared about.

> > >

> > > I'm sorry this is so long and disjointed. Thanks for bringing this up.

> > >

> > > Take care,

> > > Ashana

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Been there done that.

What about someone who can help your husband move while you watch the kids?

[Guest guest]

His friend is coming over to help, so that's good. I was going to help them load

up and then clean the house. But this morning my dtr woke up sick and now I am

like forget this, I can't find someone to watch my kids, and even if I could one

of them is sick. I'm going to hire someone to clean the house. Not money I

wanted to spend but sometimes it's just worth it.

>

> Been there done that.

>

> What about someone who can help your husband move while you watch the kids?

>

[Guest guest]

I think it means " been there, done that. "

I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible, under the circumstances, and I

hope your little one feels better soon.

-Annie

>

> What does BTDT mean? I have asked everyone I know that's even a remote

possibility- offering to pay most people. It's just one of those unfortunate

times when everyone I know just can't do it on that particular day.

> Ironically it's all a moot point anyway, because my dtr woke up sick this

morning (fever, sore throat, cough), so even if I had found someone it still

wouldn't have worked out.

[Guest guest]

Hey, Mozz! Sure, I remember you. I'm glad that what I was suggesting resonated

with you. Yes, this is a great Group, and it sort of is like having a virtual

circle of friends.

Best wishes to you and your family.

-Annie

>

> Annie,

> You bring up a good point. I have a handful of good friends but I do not have

a large network of friends that could offer " you watch my kids, I'll watch

yours " . The first thing I'm going to do up there is find two babysitters (one

for back up). My dtr is starting a church preschool so I can probably find

someone through them. Then I'm going to meetup.com to meet some playgroups. I

think you are on to something- I know myself and I *will* feel more secure if I

have a larger net to fall on. Thank you. Yours and Ashana's posts have always

been so helpful, now and back when I was on a few years ago and nada was dying.

Back then I was under the name mozzarella66, most people called me " Mozz " . I

know there are a ton of people coming and going on this site so you may not

remember me, but I will always always remember you!

[Guest guest]

Been There, Done That! lol =)

Sorry your DD is sick. =( That's never fun.

Sv

[Guest guest]

Update- DD, DS and I am all sick. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm sure we will laugh about

this horrible move someday. Tomorrow is going to be brutal. But at least, thanks

to you all, my KO crisis is averted. Thanks again!

>

> Been There, Done That! lol =)

>

> Sorry your DD is sick. =( That's never fun.

>

> Sv

>