Re:(don't be) Scared

[Guest guest]

Congratulations on being free of those awful meetings! Yes, it is

natural to be scared when you have been told over and over

again that you will die if you do this. Tomatos were thought to be

deadly poisonous at one time. They destroyed that rumour by

eating tomatos and not dying.

I have not been to a meeting in almost a year and half. I did not

relapse, or die, or go crazy. I'm not miserable, in fact I feel

gloriously free. The primary reason for my addictive behavior was

(as I see it now) self-medicating for depression. I am on two

anti-depressants, have been for almost two years. They are very

effective. It took a while to find the right medication for me, and

they dont work instantly. It takes a few weeks of having the

medication in your system before it takes effect. I do not feel like

a zombie, or act like a happy face. The meds just help keep me

from sinking into deep depression and keep a regular sleep

schedule.

I have found therapy to be very helpful. I was in a group therapy

situation with other recovering addicts. I announced my decision

to leave the meetings. My therapist was completely supportive.

Over the next few months three other members of the therapy

group left the 12-step program. All of us are doing very well. I

know a man who was in AA for 18 years and started having

periodic relapses. He kept going back to the rooms and he kept

relapsing. Then he decided that the " program' was not working

for him and he left it. He has stayed sober ever since, that was

about a year ago.

Just do it

Devin

> I've been actively NOT going to meetings for a few months now.

I have

> been hoping to wean myself off of AA and get back to a normal

life. I

> have alot of fear. I get depressed and lonely sometimes even

though I

> am often around alot of people. I am worried that if I drink I will

> die drunk even though I'm not a low bottom drunk. I am thinking

about

> anti-depressants. I don't want to be a zombie, though. I am

also

> interested in therapy. I need to stop giving a shit what others

think

> about me. I talked to my old sponsor today. She told me about

a friend

> that died drunk in her car recently. I got all this fear. Plus the

> holidays are a hard time for me. I can see myself going back

there. Or

> drinking and having all that aa rhetoric swim around in my

head and

> crawling back.

>

> k