1st Official Flying Monkey Attack

[Guest guest]

Well the day finally arrived. As I wrote earlier this week, nada has been

calling me again. I think she was trying to trick me into feeling guilty and

picking up the phone by calling late at night. I didn't fall for it.

Then my phone is bombarded with calls from strange numbers. Oh, I knew this day

was coming! She contacted a friend of hers who lives near me, to call me from

different numbers, and leave messages that I need to contact nada because she is

" heartbroken " .

I am infuriated that she is pulling in this distant friend of hers (an old

neighbor who has received earfuls from nada about how horrible I am) into this

blatant attempt at manipulation. I've already received the guilt postal packages

from nada (filled with ALL of my childhood photos) and I did not respond. I did

not play her game. So now she is employing a different angle. I am so mad, she

is the one that treated me like crap for years & would scream at my DH and I to

leave her alone. She is the one who was abusive & gave me anxiety. And on top of

it all, I would not contact her because she has proved time and time again, she

is NOT a person I can trust.

I am so sad about this, it's like I cannot be free of her garbage. This has been

bothering me so much lately its been giving me hives again. This always happens.

I'm just so sad.

And I think it says a lot that an old neighbor is calling. Note it is not a

mutual friend or a relative. No, some weird neighbor I never liked, who believed

all of nada's lies.

Now I am wondering when/if someone will show up on my door.

thanks for listening,

natalia

[Guest guest]

If it is your cell phone, or your home phone, it is time to see if you can block

the number from calling. I have an LG cell phone that allows me to block callers

and send them directly to VM, they CAN still leave a message, but I literally

never even have a missed call alert. Home phone, you would have to check with

your service provider. Not sure if that would help, but hopefully it will. C

>

> Well the day finally arrived. As I wrote earlier this week, nada has been

calling me again. I think she was trying to trick me into feeling guilty and

picking up the phone by calling late at night. I didn't fall for it.

>

> Then my phone is bombarded with calls from strange numbers. Oh, I knew this

day was coming! She contacted a friend of hers who lives near me, to call me

from different numbers, and leave messages that I need to contact nada because

she is " heartbroken " .

>

> I am infuriated that she is pulling in this distant friend of hers (an old

neighbor who has received earfuls from nada about how horrible I am) into this

blatant attempt at manipulation. I've already received the guilt postal packages

from nada (filled with ALL of my childhood photos) and I did not respond. I did

not play her game. So now she is employing a different angle. I am so mad, she

is the one that treated me like crap for years & would scream at my DH and I to

leave her alone. She is the one who was abusive & gave me anxiety. And on top of

it all, I would not contact her because she has proved time and time again, she

is NOT a person I can trust.

>

> I am so sad about this, it's like I cannot be free of her garbage. This has

been bothering me so much lately its been giving me hives again. This always

happens. I'm just so sad.

>

> And I think it says a lot that an old neighbor is calling. Note it is not a

mutual friend or a relative. No, some weird neighbor I never liked, who believed

all of nada's lies.

>

> Now I am wondering when/if someone will show up on my door.

>

> thanks for listening,

>

> natalia

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I want to block the numbers but the problem is that this friend of hers is

calling me from different phone numbers. Maybe she is calling me from her home

and from different lines at her job. I don't know. This is so weird and

frustrating.

> >

> > Well the day finally arrived. As I wrote earlier this week, nada has been

calling me again. I think she was trying to trick me into feeling guilty and

picking up the phone by calling late at night. I didn't fall for it.

> >

> > Then my phone is bombarded with calls from strange numbers. Oh, I knew this

day was coming! She contacted a friend of hers who lives near me, to call me

from different numbers, and leave messages that I need to contact nada because

she is " heartbroken " .

> >

> > I am infuriated that she is pulling in this distant friend of hers (an old

neighbor who has received earfuls from nada about how horrible I am) into this

blatant attempt at manipulation. I've already received the guilt postal packages

from nada (filled with ALL of my childhood photos) and I did not respond. I did

not play her game. So now she is employing a different angle. I am so mad, she

is the one that treated me like crap for years & would scream at my DH and I to

leave her alone. She is the one who was abusive & gave me anxiety. And on top of

it all, I would not contact her because she has proved time and time again, she

is NOT a person I can trust.

> >

> > I am so sad about this, it's like I cannot be free of her garbage. This has

been bothering me so much lately its been giving me hives again. This always

happens. I'm just so sad.

> >

> > And I think it says a lot that an old neighbor is calling. Note it is not a

mutual friend or a relative. No, some weird neighbor I never liked, who believed

all of nada's lies.

> >

> > Now I am wondering when/if someone will show up on my door.

> >

> > thanks for listening,

> >

> > natalia

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That's a sneaky trick, and I can see why you'd be feeling angry and frustrated.

No reasonable person does that kind of thing. She and your nada must be pease in

a pod.

I don't know what the best solution is. Perhaps a cease and desist letter

stating that she is not to ever call you again, from any number? I wonder if

your phone company or local police would have any information about how to deal

with harassing phone calls.

Sveta

[Guest guest]

That is just nasty; being bombarded with calls at all hours sounds like

harassment to me. Your nada is very Machiavellian to arrange for this flying

monkey to harass you for her, so she doesn't get her hands dirty. Wow.

From now on, let all your incoming calls whether its your land line or your cel

phone, roll over into voicemail; that way you'll know if they're all coming from

the same individual if she leaves messages, and your harasser is leaving a nice,

wide, smelly digital trail to follow. Let her leave all the messages she wants.

You don't have to answer them. Just carefully keep them and/or make copies

(make sure the date/time is indicated); all these unwanted, unwelcome calls and

messages are evidence. You can put your phone on " no ring " at night, so you can

get some sleep, and it will roll over to message without you being disturbed.

If you know this former neighbor/nada's buddy by name, then the next step is to

send her a cease-and-desist snail-mail letter by certified and/or registered

mail, (preferably through your lawyer, on the law firm's letterhead.) She'll

have to sign for it and you and your lawyer get a written confirmation that the

letter was received. Continue to document any further attempts at contact

(continued phoning, surveillance activity, showing up on your property,

vandalism, showing up at your work, etc.)

Evidence of continued contact attempts after having received a cease and desist

letter can help your lawyer obtain a restraining order against this person, but

sometimes just getting a cease-and-desist letter (from a lawyer) is enough to do

the trick.

Best of luck to you with this, being harassed and/or stalked is very stressful.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

I have found that our BPD loves to get a triangle of people involved in her

communication. She loves to put someone between her and I in communicating and

I refuse to go along with that. I tell others that if she has something to say

to me she needs to come directly to me and talk. I think this behavior is just

being a puppet master and pulling everyone's strings behind the scenes. Sick

behavior if you ask me.

>

> Well the day finally arrived. As I wrote earlier this week, nada has been

calling me again. I think she was trying to trick me into feeling guilty and

picking up the phone by calling late at night. I didn't fall for it.

>

> Then my phone is bombarded with calls from strange numbers. Oh, I knew this

day was coming! She contacted a friend of hers who lives near me, to call me

from different numbers, and leave messages that I need to contact nada because

she is " heartbroken " .

>

> I am infuriated that she is pulling in this distant friend of hers (an old

neighbor who has received earfuls from nada about how horrible I am) into this

blatant attempt at manipulation. I've already received the guilt postal packages

from nada (filled with ALL of my childhood photos) and I did not respond. I did

not play her game. So now she is employing a different angle. I am so mad, she

is the one that treated me like crap for years & would scream at my DH and I to

leave her alone. She is the one who was abusive & gave me anxiety. And on top of

it all, I would not contact her because she has proved time and time again, she

is NOT a person I can trust.

>

> I am so sad about this, it's like I cannot be free of her garbage. This has

been bothering me so much lately its been giving me hives again. This always

happens. I'm just so sad.

>

> And I think it says a lot that an old neighbor is calling. Note it is not a

mutual friend or a relative. No, some weird neighbor I never liked, who believed

all of nada's lies.

>

> Now I am wondering when/if someone will show up on my door.

>

> thanks for listening,

>

> natalia

>

[Guest guest]

As always, thanks for the kind words. It helps tremendously. Today, the DH and I

decided we had enough of the calls so we changed my phone number. Time will tell

how this plays out. DH wants to get a lawyer and somehow stop this harassment. I

feel like it will never stop, no matter what I do.

Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore. It is so ridiculous that even as

an adult, 100s of miles away from her, that I am still scared of her. Scared

that she is going to " get " me. I don't even know what that means, but I still

feel like a little kid inside, not knowing how the witch will respond, only

knowing that I am going to be in " trouble " .

>

> That is just nasty; being bombarded with calls at all hours sounds like

harassment to me. Your nada is very Machiavellian to arrange for this flying

monkey to harass you for her, so she doesn't get her hands dirty. Wow.

>

> From now on, let all your incoming calls whether its your land line or your

cel phone, roll over into voicemail; that way you'll know if they're all coming

from the same individual if she leaves messages, and your harasser is leaving a

nice, wide, smelly digital trail to follow. Let her leave all the messages she

wants. You don't have to answer them. Just carefully keep them and/or make

copies (make sure the date/time is indicated); all these unwanted, unwelcome

calls and messages are evidence. You can put your phone on " no ring " at night,

so you can get some sleep, and it will roll over to message without you being

disturbed.

>

> If you know this former neighbor/nada's buddy by name, then the next step is

to send her a cease-and-desist snail-mail letter by certified and/or registered

mail, (preferably through your lawyer, on the law firm's letterhead.) She'll

have to sign for it and you and your lawyer get a written confirmation that the

letter was received. Continue to document any further attempts at contact

(continued phoning, surveillance activity, showing up on your property,

vandalism, showing up at your work, etc.)

>

> Evidence of continued contact attempts after having received a cease and

desist letter can help your lawyer obtain a restraining order against this

person, but sometimes just getting a cease-and-desist letter (from a lawyer) is

enough to do the trick.

>

> Best of luck to you with this, being harassed and/or stalked is very

stressful.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know about others but I really need to feel safe. I had my BPD

stepdaughter harrassing me on facebook, even though she isn't on my facebook.

She takes comments out of context and gets paranoid about what I post at times.

To be honest, I have vented on occasion but thought since she wasn't on there it

was OK. I started another facebook account for my friends only so I can remain

private and safe. I do it for me, not the BPD. This is just one of my

non-negotionables in life. I have to have a safe private life where I can be me

without worrying when the other shoe will drop. I know she can't help it

without getting therapy but I still don't have to be a victim. I like to see

myself as a target so that I can MOVE to avoid the BPD bullets. If my mother

was alive I would still do the same to avoid her abuse towards me. It is part

of my recovery from all this.

> >

> > That is just nasty; being bombarded with calls at all hours sounds like

harassment to me. Your nada is very Machiavellian to arrange for this flying

monkey to harass you for her, so she doesn't get her hands dirty. Wow.

> >

> > From now on, let all your incoming calls whether its your land line or your

cel phone, roll over into voicemail; that way you'll know if they're all coming

from the same individual if she leaves messages, and your harasser is leaving a

nice, wide, smelly digital trail to follow. Let her leave all the messages she

wants. You don't have to answer them. Just carefully keep them and/or make

copies (make sure the date/time is indicated); all these unwanted, unwelcome

calls and messages are evidence. You can put your phone on " no ring " at night,

so you can get some sleep, and it will roll over to message without you being

disturbed.

> >

> > If you know this former neighbor/nada's buddy by name, then the next step

is to send her a cease-and-desist snail-mail letter by certified and/or

registered mail, (preferably through your lawyer, on the law firm's letterhead.)

She'll have to sign for it and you and your lawyer get a written confirmation

that the letter was received. Continue to document any further attempts at

contact (continued phoning, surveillance activity, showing up on your property,

vandalism, showing up at your work, etc.)

> >

> > Evidence of continued contact attempts after having received a cease and

desist letter can help your lawyer obtain a restraining order against this

person, but sometimes just getting a cease-and-desist letter (from a lawyer) is

enough to do the trick.

> >

> > Best of luck to you with this, being harassed and/or stalked is very

stressful.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Perhaps you are still viewing your nada from your inner child's perspective: as

though nada is much larger than you and all-powerful, and you are looking up at

her angry face, frozen in terror.

Maybe your therapist could do some role-playing therapy with you, to help you

shift your inner perception of your nada.

Something like, for example, you getting up on a step-stool, and looking down at

the floor while imagining your nada to be below you and much smaller than you,

like a nasty, ugly, warty little troll. The little troll-thing is fuming,

glaring up at you and hissing at you, but can't reach you or hurt you because

you have all the power now. Perhaps that will allow you to see her as the

spoiled toddler she really is, and even feel pity for her, possibly. But the

nasty, bratty little troll of a toddler can't actually hurt you any more because

you are an adult now: you have your own power which is much greater than hers

because your power is woven with humanity, empathy, reason and rationality.

Perhaps your therapist would have you say " Shoo! " or " Scat! " to the nasty little

troll-thing, or imagine a pet-carrier case to pop it into. Its just annoying

to you now, not dangerous.

Or perhaps your therapist would play the role of your nada and have you stand

face to face with him/her: eye-to-eye, adult to adult, and have you just tell

your nada off: really let her have it verbally. Let yourself get really, really

ANGRY at nada and tell her to back off or you'll plant your foot where the sun

don't shine and kick her to Timbuktu.

I'm sure there are many different and effective ways that your therapist can

help you overcome your fear of your nada, a fear that was conditioned or beaten

into you since babyhood. The frozen fear was a survival mechanism that helped

you survive your childhood dependency on your nada (every human being is

abjectly dependent on their mother/primary care-giver's benevolence during our

formative years) but the freeze-in-place fear is now counterproductive in

adulthood.

So, if your lingering fear of nada is really distressing you, having a negative

impact in your life and preventing you from being assertive (not bullying or

vindictive, just assertive) with your nada when you need to be, then I hope you

will think about working through it in therapy.

-Annie

> As always, thanks for the kind words. It helps tremendously. Today, the DH and

I decided we had enough of the calls so we changed my phone number. Time will

tell how this plays out. DH wants to get a lawyer and somehow stop this

harassment. I feel like it will never stop, no matter what I do.

>

> Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore. It is so ridiculous that even as

an adult, 100s of miles away from her, that I am still scared of her. Scared

that she is going to " get " me. I don't even know what that means, but I still

feel like a little kid inside, not knowing how the witch will respond, only

knowing that I am going to be in " trouble " .

[Guest guest]

Hey Annie, this advice not only entertained me and had me chuckling, but it

helped me too. If nada is drained of her power in my mind, reality has to

follow. Thanks for a great post.

AFB

>

> Perhaps you are still viewing your nada from your inner child's perspective:

as though nada is much larger than you and all-powerful, and you are looking up

at her angry face, frozen in terror.

>

> Maybe your therapist could do some role-playing therapy with you, to help you

shift your inner perception of your nada.

>

> Something like, for example, you getting up on a step-stool, and looking down

at the floor while imagining your nada to be below you and much smaller than

you, like a nasty, ugly, warty little troll. The little troll-thing is fuming,

glaring up at you and hissing at you, but can't reach you or hurt you because

you have all the power now. Perhaps that will allow you to see her as the

spoiled toddler she really is, and even feel pity for her, possibly. But the

nasty, bratty little troll of a toddler can't actually hurt you any more because

you are an adult now: you have your own power which is much greater than hers

because your power is woven with humanity, empathy, reason and rationality.

>

> Perhaps your therapist would have you say " Shoo! " or " Scat! " to the nasty

little troll-thing, or imagine a pet-carrier case to pop it into. Its just

annoying to you now, not dangerous.

>

> Or perhaps your therapist would play the role of your nada and have you stand

face to face with him/her: eye-to-eye, adult to adult, and have you just tell

your nada off: really let her have it verbally. Let yourself get really, really

ANGRY at nada and tell her to back off or you'll plant your foot where the sun

don't shine and kick her to Timbuktu.

>

> I'm sure there are many different and effective ways that your therapist can

help you overcome your fear of your nada, a fear that was conditioned or beaten

into you since babyhood. The frozen fear was a survival mechanism that helped

you survive your childhood dependency on your nada (every human being is

abjectly dependent on their mother/primary care-giver's benevolence during our

formative years) but the freeze-in-place fear is now counterproductive in

adulthood.

>

> So, if your lingering fear of nada is really distressing you, having a

negative impact in your life and preventing you from being assertive (not

bullying or vindictive, just assertive) with your nada when you need to be, then

I hope you will think about working through it in therapy.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Oh crap. This neighbour has drank the BPD Kool-Aid and there's no going back.

What is it with nadas who are soooooo good at brain washing the flying monkeys

to this degree? Don't answer the door if the Kool-Aid neighbour knocks; it's

your door afterall!! I'm sure this constitutues harassment on some level so you

should have no problems with a restraining order.

My nada brainwashed a friend of mine one night at my 30th birthday party and it

was never the same between myself and said friend again. At least you didn't

drink the Kool-Aid too .