Nada and my daughter

[Guest guest]

Tomandfran,

Thanks for reminding me that " Healthy people know that the elevator doesn't go

all the way up with BPD and won't pay much attention to what they say. "

I honestly forget that. The emotional vampires author made that point several

times as well, that we will take what a person with a PD says and try to make

sense of it from our own point of view, forgetting that it's a skewed and

distorted point of view.

thanks again,

Fiona

> > >

> > >

> > > Fi

> > >

> > > Heinlein says, in one of his characters, Go to Hell! or other

> > > similar remarks, is the only appropriate answer to snoopy questions. I

> > > think that applies in spades here.

> > >

> > > No, Nada, we will NOT have a long talk about whatever my daughter may

> > > have mentioned when I permitted her to visit with you.

> > >

> > > Do you understand the implications of that statement? I am her mother,

> > > and as such I am resonsible for raising her and setting her safe

> > > boundaries. I can take advice from whomever I wish, or reject it.

> > > Considering that you were basically a NADA as a mom raising me, I don t

> > > care to hear from you about how I raise my daughter. If you want to be

> > > able to see her, do not try to have that long talk you are dying to

> > > have, with me, OR with my daughter.

> > >

> > > Bitch.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > That would be my response to your Nada.

> > >

> > > You are NOT 14. You are a grown woman with a child. You are not

> > > obligated to take her advice, or even hear it. And how you raise your

> > > daughter, and what you permit her to do, is none of Nada s business.

> > >

> > > Doug

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Just one added piece of advice. No more defense. As you have surmised, she will

gleefully let you drain everything you have fighting her fights, playing her

games.

Offense! If she violates the order of protection, call the police. Have her

arrested. Appeal to the judge who issued the order asking to have her jailed.

Judges do not like people to ignore thier orders.

And, while you noted in one post that you cannot sue for damages related to

visitation issues, what about suing for the damage to your husband by her abuse

of him? It may seem cold, but think Oz for a minute. We don t just get the

Witch to let Dorothy go, we melt the bitch with a bucket of mop water. Then a

lot of people are free, not just Dorothy.

You mentioned her statement that she was driven to violate the order, or her

promises by " her love for her grandchildren. "

Feces. Excrement.

My own nada would violate a promise and say, I just think its what God would

want me to do. Or, I just thought you needed to know about this. In short, no

word, no promise from her was ever worth the powder to blow it to hell. She

would rationalize any behavior, minimize any pain she caused, shift

accountablity to everyone else but her.

This is a seriously ill, and yes, I ll say it, evil, woman. Don t play her

game. Play your own game. Make it clear to her that she will never have access

to your daughters so she can screw them up just as she did your husband. Do you

doubt for a moment that is just what she will do? If you have to sell your

business and move across the country, never give her access. Furthermore, you

will not sit and let her destroy you financially keeping her at arms length.

She wants a war? Give her a war. Go after her with everything you ve got. It s

not enough to simply keep her at arms length. She will make you expend money

and effort to do so as long as she lives. Press her so hard, cost her so much,

that she is not willing to continue.

In any rational society, the bitch would be locked away from sane people.

Get the most miserable, jerk of a lawyer you can find. Give the whole story,

clear back to hubby as a child. He can go after her, and maybe even the cult

she lives with. Tell him to go for the throat. Don t use a German shephard to

keep the witch out of your yard. Get a Mastif and teach it to go for the

throat.

That s my take. She is Nada in the extreme. She has no claim on your family as

a mother. She is a Bitch Queen. Did I spell that right? Get yourself a bucket

of mop water.

Doug

[Guest guest]

I agree with Doug. Narcissists respond to people who are scarier than they are.

They become more difficult as they get older because people they have seen as

authority figures die or become less able.

The witch will never let Dorothy go, but she melts in water. All you need is a

bucket and the heart to push her in it.

Thanks, Doug.

Ash