I'll take very small victory I can get!

[Guest guest]

My mom has tried to manipulate and monopolize my every waking minute! She has

had me calling her twice a day AT LEAST for years. The first one being right

after I wake up at 4:30 before I start getting ready for work...she's always

saying how lonely she is, and my call makes her day feel not so alone. My

therapist has made me see it is not my job to make her less lonely. She is the

one who has pushed everybody away, trying to isolate me for herself. I had my

appt with my T on Wednesday, and she encouraged me to start regaining my life by

stopping the morning phone call. So Friday I told my NADA that starting next

Monday I would no longer be calling her in the morning, just on my way home from

work. She had a few snide comments like " I wondered when you do that, " and " next

you're going to tell me that you're not going to call me everyday " and " well

maybe you could call a little later in the morning " . I stood my ground and

told her one call a day was enough! It was freakin' AWESOME!!! A very small

baby step, but it was very liberating...just wanted to share my good news!!

[Guest guest]

Yay! Good job! Nada had me calling twice a day too- it was SO draining.

>

> My mom has tried to manipulate and monopolize my every waking minute! She has

had me calling her twice a day AT LEAST for years. The first one being right

after I wake up at 4:30 before I start getting ready for work...she's always

saying how lonely she is, and my call makes her day feel not so alone. My

therapist has made me see it is not my job to make her less lonely. She is the

one who has pushed everybody away, trying to isolate me for herself. I had my

appt with my T on Wednesday, and she encouraged me to start regaining my life by

stopping the morning phone call. So Friday I told my NADA that starting next

Monday I would no longer be calling her in the morning, just on my way home from

work. She had a few snide comments like " I wondered when you do that, " and " next

you're going to tell me that you're not going to call me everyday " and " well

maybe you could call a little later in the morning " . I stood my ground and

told her one call a day was enough! It was freakin' AWESOME!!! A very small

baby step, but it was very liberating...just wanted to share my good news!!

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations! I think you will find as your contact diminishes that your

stress level and fear and loathing will too. Keep us posted!

Jaleo

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jaleo, that is what I am truly hoping. I do not want to get to the point

that I truly hate her, and that's where I could see all of this taking me, and I

do not see me ever being able to completely cut ties with her because her

situation is a little bit different in that she is unable to drive and get

around good because of her severe scoliosis, so I do take her to dr appts and do

her grocery shopping for her each week. So that's precisely why my T encouraged

me to limit my exposure because with my mom being only 67 years old, this could

go on for 25 more years, NOT GOOD if I'm continuously stressed about contact

with her!

Although I must say she's working on ways today already to try and loop me back

in with extra contact and feeling sorry for her, so she THINKS! " I'm not feeling

good today. My legs and knees are really hurting, and I am having a hard time

even getting out of the chair. Are you coming over today? " NO I AM NOT!! Now I

see her behavior as predictable, I don't see how all this went unnoticed for so

many years!

STAY STRONG....STAY STRONG...STAY STRONG!!!

>

> Congratulations! I think you will find as your contact diminishes that your

stress level and fear and loathing will too. Keep us posted!

>

> Jaleo

>

[Guest guest]

Good for you! That has to be so hard to say no to her. For awhile I was stuck

in the call every day mode at precisely 3:00 in the afternoon. If I didn't, she

would get mad, tell me she wondered if I had died or something. It tied us down

so much. Anything we were doing or any place we went, I kept my eye on the

clock. This was before we had a cell phone so I had to rush home. Even now that

I have a cell, I have limited minutes and can't hang on the phone for an hour at

a time just to listen to her complain. Keep up the good work. Those emotional

knots they tie around us are hard to unravel but we have to keep trying.

>

> My mom has tried to manipulate and monopolize my every waking minute! She has

had me calling her twice a day AT LEAST for years. The first one being right

after I wake up at 4:30 before I start getting ready for work...she's always

saying how lonely she is, and my call makes her day feel not so alone. My

therapist has made me see it is not my job to make her less lonely. She is the

one who has pushed everybody away, trying to isolate me for herself. I had my

appt with my T on Wednesday, and she encouraged me to start regaining my life by

stopping the morning phone call. So Friday I told my NADA that starting next

Monday I would no longer be calling her in the morning, just on my way home from

work. She had a few snide comments like " I wondered when you do that, " and " next

you're going to tell me that you're not going to call me everyday " and " well

maybe you could call a little later in the morning " . I stood my ground and

told her one call a day was enough! It was freakin' AWESOME!!! A very small

baby step, but it was very liberating...just wanted to share my good news!!

>