Guest guest Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 From what I've read, the statistics regarding those with borderline pd improving with age are very specific to: teens with bpd who are very low-functioning and living in residential care facilities due to repeated suicide attempts and self-harming behaviors. Those specific behaviors, the suicidality and the self-harming, tend to decrease as the patient reaches her thirties/forties. But (if I understand correctly) the higher-functioning individuals with bpd who also have a lot of narcissistic pd traits (the " Queen " type of bpd) tend to not improve with age. I also belong to a support group for the adult children of narcissistic pd parents (because my nada had both, I believe) and from the general tone of the posts there, it would seem that those with npd tend to become even more difficult and dysfunctional as they age. -Annie > >I agree, Irene, the healthy people I know will ask if they can > >come to my house. Great point and something for me to be aware > >of. Shows great lack of respect for others. > > > >What is it with BPD that they don't handle seperation > >well? They take it like a personal affront when it is not. > > > >I also thought that some BPD's get better with age but from all > >the responses here it doesn't seem so. At least I was > >hoping our BPD would get better with age as she is fast > >approaching 40. I know with my mum it got worse due to the > >alcoholism. > > -- > Katrina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 On Wed, Aug 8, 2012 at 9:01 AM, anuria67854 anuria-67854@...> wrote: > ** > > > From what I've read, the statistics regarding those with borderline pd > improving with age are very specific to: teens with bpd who are very > low-functioning and living in residential care facilities due to repeated > suicide attempts and self-harming behaviors. Those specific behaviors, the > suicidality and the self-harming, tend to decrease as the patient reaches > her thirties/forties. > > But (if I understand correctly) the higher-functioning individuals with > bpd who also have a lot of narcissistic pd traits (the " Queen " type of bpd) > tend to not improve with age. I also belong to a support group for the > adult children of narcissistic pd parents (because my nada had both, I > believe) and from the general tone of the posts there, it would seem that > those with npd tend to become even more difficult and dysfunctional as they > age. > > -Annie > I get the impression that once a person with a PD gets past, oh, age 30 or so, the chances of them improving are slim, even if they work at it (which very few of them will) -- the brain just gets set in its (dysfunctional) ways of interacting with other people. Maybe as treatments get better this won't stay true forever though. We can hope. I plugged this book once before here but I'll plug it again: Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide For Stressed Out Children Grace Lebow (Author), Barbara Kane (Author), Irwin Lebow (Author, Contributor) It's ALL ABOUT elderly parents with personality disorders and how they tend to behave. And it basically says, " No. They won't improve. Stop hoping for it. " It tries to give communication strategies and tactics for dealing with these people, especially once they reach the point where they need help caring for themselves. -- Jen H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 I think nada did get better through her 30s and 40s. She used to try to kill me and have raging, screaming arguments with my dad where she attempted to push him around (she's tiny). There may have been a slowdown in suicide and self-harming behaviors after this, as well. Some of this was the result of ongoing therapy, and some of this may have just been age. (She has seen a psychiatrist since I was 2.) She did not, however, become a nicer person. I've been nc with her for 20 years, so I can't really say how her 50s and 60s have treated her. Best, Ashana > > > ** > > > > > > From what I've read, the statistics regarding those with borderline pd > > improving with age are very specific to: teens with bpd who are very > > low-functioning and living in residential care facilities due to repeated > > suicide attempts and self-harming behaviors. Those specific behaviors, the > > suicidality and the self-harming, tend to decrease as the patient reaches > > her thirties/forties. > > > > But (if I understand correctly) the higher-functioning individuals with > > bpd who also have a lot of narcissistic pd traits (the " Queen " type of bpd) > > tend to not improve with age. I also belong to a support group for the > > adult children of narcissistic pd parents (because my nada had both, I > > believe) and from the general tone of the posts there, it would seem that > > those with npd tend to become even more difficult and dysfunctional as they > > age. > > > > > > -Annie > > > > > I get the impression that once a person with a PD gets past, oh, age 30 or > so, the chances of them improving are slim, even if they work at it (which > very few of them will) -- the brain just gets set in its (dysfunctional) > ways of interacting with other people. Maybe as treatments get better this > won't stay true forever though. We can hope. > > I plugged this book once before here but I'll plug it again: > > Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide For Stressed Out Children > Grace Lebow (Author), Barbara Kane (Author), Irwin Lebow (Author, > Contributor) > > It's ALL ABOUT elderly parents with personality disorders and how they tend > to behave. And it basically says, " No. They won't improve. Stop hoping for > it. " It tries to give communication strategies and tactics for dealing > with these people, especially once they reach the point where they need > help caring for themselves. > > -- Jen H. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2012 Report Share Posted August 9, 2012 My counselor said something similar in re to PTSD. She seems to think my life with nada has left some long lasting effects that should be dealt with. She said neglect and/or abuse as a very young child has a tendency to rewire our brains and that's why it's so hard for us to stop responding to nada even after we're adults. There's that gut reaction that grabs us even when our thoughts are saying " Don't go there. She does not own you any more. " I suppose it could be the same with BPD; once their brains are set on this path, it's hard if not impossible to rewire their distorted thinking. > > I get the impression that once a person with a PD gets past, oh, age 30 or > so, the chances of them improving are slim, even if they work at it (which > very few of them will) -- the brain just gets set in its (dysfunctional) > ways of interacting with other people. Maybe as treatments get better this > won't stay true forever though. We can hope. > > > -- Jen H. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 I had hope but really what I want at this point are facts. I don't want to get my expectations up only to get my head chopped off again. I can understand the wiring. I think my deceased mum was BPD and when I am around my sd that is BPD I go nuts. I don't like myself when I am around it. I go into this black hole that is horrible and so painful. I am begining to think it is just old stuff rearing it's ugly head. Feels good to finally connect the dots with it. With answers comes healing. I can learn to rewire my brain and responses. Thanks to God! To Doug and others...people like to minimize the damage to other people. This way they aren't responsible to help others that are affected by BPD. Many times I have found that they have issues they would rather not face so they brush off other people's problems. They have nothing to do with our reality. Can't get them out of fantasy land but I don't have to join them. > > > > > I get the impression that once a person with a PD gets past, oh, age 30 or > > so, the chances of them improving are slim, even if they work at it (which > > very few of them will) -- the brain just gets set in its (dysfunctional) > > ways of interacting with other people. Maybe as treatments get better this > > won't stay true forever though. We can hope. > > > > > > > -- Jen H. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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