Anxiety of seeing nada's # on caller ID

August 8, 2012

Ever since my daughter went to visit nada last week, I just feel so uptight

talking to nada. I hate knowing that she knows stuff about me from my daughter,

stuff like what I allow my daughter to do.

After we talked today, she has called me 2 more times. I know it's not a lot

compared to what some of you have to endure, but lately, even when I call her

for our weekly call, I get SUCH anxiety and have to deep breathe to calm myself

before talking to her.

Then, today, she asked if she could watch my 7 year old, who likes nada, b/c she

hasn't experienced nada at full force yet. I told nada no and made up an excuse.

When I say no, nada says, " NO?!? " I really cannot describe how much that

irritates me. I wish I could scream, " did you not friggin' hear me??? yeah, I

said NO! " I wish I could be as rude as Doug suggests! She just gets so hurt

and offended, even when I'm not trying to offend her. I think she must be extra

lonely lately, I don't know.

All I know is I am not responsible for being her cruise director and providing

my kids as entertainment. that's how she makes me feel, like I'm depriving her.

I really, really would LOVE for my kids to be closer to her...if she wasn't so

sneaky about pulling information from them, and anxious, and impatient, and all

the other crap I've told you about her. And she could have a fuller life, if she

let people in. But she won't let anyone in her house, she won't go to anyone

else's house (and she has been invited many times), she won't socialize. Well,

then, don't complain that you're lonely!!

The thought of her being with my 7 year old makes my stomach hurt. My husband

and kids don't fully get it. He gets it to an extent but feels like sometimes he

needs nada to help him with the kids for an hour or 2 (not on any scheduled

basis, just once in a while).

UUUGGGGHHHH. Nada radiates, even over the phone, such negativity, anger, and

agitation -- I just hate talking to her. It's a chore.

Anyway, just venting. thanks for listening, guys. I'm so glad you all get it.

That's such sanity for me. That someone out there gets it.

Fiona

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