new to the group

[Guest guest]

I am 30 years old and have been in therapy for years, dealing with the behaviors

of my mom. for the longest time, i thought it was just alcoholism, but recently

realized, with the help of my therapist, that she likely also has bpd or bpd

traits. she will never go to therapy herself so i guess we'll never know for

sure. but in reading all the books, it all rings true.

now everytime i talk to my mom, i see how really sick she is. in the past, i

blamed it all on me. i can't remember the last time i had a " normal "

conversation with her. everytime i call her she is ranting about someone else.

the little mistake made by someone turns into a huge deal, and she whines about

how horrible her life is.

i just got off the phone with her on one of these rants. usually, i would have

tried to take care of her and calm her down. but i have learned now to just get

off the phone before the rant turns to me.

its hard for me to set these boundaries, but i know i need to be consistent.

sometimes i wonder who my mom really is and feel sad that she has this illness.

[Guest guest]

I hear ya!! My mum is deceased. She died from alcoholism but I am beginning to

suspect that she also have bpd. Sure had a whole host of the symptoms now that

I have researched it.

I can understand feeling bad for a bpd person. They certainly didn't ask for

this illness that is for sure. But at the same time I don't think it gives them

the right not to play by the same rules and standards that the rest of us have

to abide by. After all I didn't have anything to do with them getting this

problem so why take it out on me??? This is pretty much where I am today.

>

> I am 30 years old and have been in therapy for years, dealing with the

behaviors of my mom. for the longest time, i thought it was just alcoholism,

but recently realized, with the help of my therapist, that she likely also has

bpd or bpd traits. she will never go to therapy herself so i guess we'll never

know for sure. but in reading all the books, it all rings true.

>

> now everytime i talk to my mom, i see how really sick she is. in the past, i

blamed it all on me. i can't remember the last time i had a " normal "

conversation with her. everytime i call her she is ranting about someone else.

the little mistake made by someone turns into a huge deal, and she whines about

how horrible her life is.

>

> i just got off the phone with her on one of these rants. usually, i would

have tried to take care of her and calm her down. but i have learned now to

just get off the phone before the rant turns to me.

>

> its hard for me to set these boundaries, but i know i need to be consistent.

sometimes i wonder who my mom really is and feel sad that she has this illness.

>