Guest guest Posted August 21, 2012 Report Share Posted August 21, 2012 I live with my mother, I am going nuts!! After her ruining my relationship before I realized what she was doing, or had a clue to her BPD. I am now financially stuck here, I have children. I can't even talk about my money problems due to her yet because it is that embarrassing. She is the only help I get tho, however, it comes with a heavy price & I am beat up everyday... the next day she is fine, willing to help again. All of a sudden I am the best daughter & she wants to help me succeed!! She then forgets what she said and the cycle starts again. It can't be normal to want to tape record conversations you have with your mother..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2012 Report Share Posted August 21, 2012 How is it that so many of us end up financially dependent on our mothers, or worse, trapped living under their rooves?!? Why/how do they have $ and we don't?!? Of course, they love it b/c it perpetuates the control and ensures we'll never really break free. Ill admit deep down i felt she owed it to me but thx to all your posts and the realization I'm not alone, I'm slowly choosing to cut the cord. I hope this helps anyone out there who feels hopeless, suicidal, etc. You all make me laugh w/ how ludicrous our nadas are. Leah, I lmao alone in public yesterday when you wrote that you just wanted to tell your nada she can't come b/c she just ruins it for everyone. If only the truth could set us free! When will some clever moviemaker turns this into a black comedy? Would all those people we tried to vent to before we found this msg board even find it funny? Or does it just get stay our private joke??? comedy=tragedy+time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2012 Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 When the person who should be one of your greatest supporters is actually being a saboteur in your life instead, it isn't surprising that you haven't gotten as far ahead as you should have. How many things that would have improved your life has your nada discouraged you from pursueing or interfered with if you did try to do them? How often has she told you you were worthless or useless or incapable of various things? How often has she stopped you from doing things by claiming that doing them would be betraying her in some way? It is hard to get a good education and then a good job with that kind of thing going on. Nadas can also suck up a lot of your income if you do get a good job and interfere enough that you may have a hard time keeping a job. At 05:01 PM 08/21/2012 Nightsquirrel wrote: >How is it that so many of us end up financially dependent on >our mothers, or worse, trapped living under their rooves?!? >Why/how do they have $ and we don't?!? > >Of course, they love it b/c it perpetuates the control and >ensures we'll never really break free. > >Ill admit deep down i felt she owed it to me but thx to all >your posts and the realization I'm not alone, I'm slowly >choosing to cut the cord. I hope this helps anyone out there >who feels hopeless, suicidal, etc. > >You all make me laugh w/ how ludicrous our nadas are. Leah, I >lmao alone in public yesterday when you wrote that you just >wanted to tell your nada she can't come b/c she just ruins it >for everyone. If only the truth could set us free! > >When will some clever moviemaker turns this into a black >comedy? Would all those people we tried to vent to before we >found this msg board even find it funny? Or does it just get >stay our private joke??? > > comedy=tragedy+time > >----- -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2012 Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks Katrina and Everyone, It's like we're all " telepathically " experiencing the same stuff! and reading one another's minds!  I've been feeling so guilty today b/c of Nada interfering in my education!  You really nailed it when you wrote that getting an education would be betraying her in some way! It's like any attempt at individuation / separation is met with " suicide " threats. That's what she would do when I was in college when she did not like my boyfriend and said " break up with him or I will kill myself. "  This initiated my first appointment with a psychologist.  She keeps making me think I'm responsible for her demise. And if I were to be there she would disown me and throw me out! -Lula ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 3:13 PM Subject: Re: Re: overwhelmed  When the person who should be one of your greatest supporters is actually being a saboteur in your life instead, it isn't surprising that you haven't gotten as far ahead as you should have. How many things that would have improved your life has your nada discouraged you from pursueing or interfered with if you did try to do them? How often has she told you you were worthless or useless or incapable of various things? How often has she stopped you from doing things by claiming that doing them would be betraying her in some way? It is hard to get a good education and then a good job with that kind of thing going on. Nadas can also suck up a lot of your income if you do get a good job and interfere enough that you may have a hard time keeping a job. At 05:01 PM 08/21/2012 Nightsquirrel wrote: >How is it that so many of us end up financially dependent on >our mothers, or worse, trapped living under their rooves?!? >Why/how do they have $ and we don't?!? > >Of course, they love it b/c it perpetuates the control and >ensures we'll never really break free. > >Ill admit deep down i felt she owed it to me but thx to all >your posts and the realization I'm not alone, I'm slowly >choosing to cut the cord. I hope this helps anyone out there >who feels hopeless, suicidal, etc. > >You all make me laugh w/ how ludicrous our nadas are. Leah, I >lmao alone in public yesterday when you wrote that you just >wanted to tell your nada she can't come b/c she just ruins it >for everyone. If only the truth could set us free! > >When will some clever moviemaker turns this into a black >comedy? Would all those people we tried to vent to before we >found this msg board even find it funny? Or does it just get >stay our private joke??? > > comedy=tragedy+time > >----- -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2012 Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 I'm honestly close to tears, in a good way for once. I have never had anyone understand. She is so out there when she attempts to " rationalize " things. By the time I realized her disorder was to late. I had listened to her about my ex. He moved on, our children go to his new house that I should be living in to spend time with him and his girlfriend. While this goes on I'm home with a whack job of a mother who can't make up her mind on anything and has quite a flare for dramatics. I'm so grateful for this site right now!! What is a nada? I'm new to all this lingo. Sent from my iPhone > Thanks Katrina and Everyone, > It's like we're all " telepathically " experiencing the same stuff! and reading one > another's minds! I've been feeling so guilty today b/c of Nada interfering in > my education! You really nailed it when you wrote that getting an education > would be betraying her in some way! > It's like any attempt at individuation / separation is met with " suicide " threats. > That's what she would do when I was in college when she did not like my boyfriend > and said " break up with him or I will kill myself. " This initiated my first appointment > with a psychologist. She keeps making me think I'm responsible for her demise. > And if I were to be there she would disown me and throw me out! > -Lula > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 3:13 PM > Subject: Re: Re: overwhelmed > > > > When the person who should be one of your greatest supporters is > actually being a saboteur in your life instead, it isn't > surprising that you haven't gotten as far ahead as you should > have. How many things that would have improved your life has > your nada discouraged you from pursueing or interfered with if > you did try to do them? How often has she told you you were > worthless or useless or incapable of various things? How often > has she stopped you from doing things by claiming that doing > them would be betraying her in some way? It is hard to get a > good education and then a good job with that kind of thing going > on. Nadas can also suck up a lot of your income if you do get a > good job and interfere enough that you may have a hard time > keeping a job. > > At 05:01 PM 08/21/2012 Nightsquirrel wrote: > >How is it that so many of us end up financially dependent on > >our mothers, or worse, trapped living under their rooves?!? > >Why/how do they have $ and we don't?!? > > > >Of course, they love it b/c it perpetuates the control and > >ensures we'll never really break free. > > > >Ill admit deep down i felt she owed it to me but thx to all > >your posts and the realization I'm not alone, I'm slowly > >choosing to cut the cord. I hope this helps anyone out there > >who feels hopeless, suicidal, etc. > > > >You all make me laugh w/ how ludicrous our nadas are. Leah, I > >lmao alone in public yesterday when you wrote that you just > >wanted to tell your nada she can't come b/c she just ruins it > >for everyone. If only the truth could set us free! > > > >When will some clever moviemaker turns this into a black > >comedy? Would all those people we tried to vent to before we > >found this msg board even find it funny? Or does it just get > >stay our private joke??? > > > > comedy=tragedy+time > > > >----- > > -- > Katrina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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