Guest guest Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 Hi Tammy, Welcome to the family and congrads on making it to the other side!! We have all gone thru the " why " stage, it is normal. It will pass tho and I had the cravings to at first. But that does change to just hang in there!! We are here for you. Pamela 11/19/02 120 lbs gone!! Miami > Hi, my name is Tammy and I just joined the group. I had surgery one > week ago today. I am going through all the emotional states of why > did I do this to myself and did I make the right decision. I am not > hungry but I find I just WANT food because I can't have it!! Has > anyone else been through this????? I am looking for support and > advice to make it through until my doctor allows me to eat real food > besided jello! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 I went through it exactly a week after my surgery, especially looking in the mirror at my 7 1/2 " scar on my tummy. I felt like I'd never heal and be better and that I'd never eat again. It does get better. I am very pleased now. I've lost 18 pounds in these 1st two weeks. in OK 7-8-03 post op open rny -18 pounds New Hi, my name is Tammy and I just joined the group. I had surgery one week ago today. I am going through all the emotional states of why did I do this to myself and did I make the right decision. I am not hungry but I find I just WANT food because I can't have it!! Has anyone else been through this????? I am looking for support and advice to make it through until my doctor allows me to eat real food besided jello! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 > I went through it exactly a week after my surgery, especially looking in the mirror at my 7 1/2 " scar on my tummy. I felt like I'd never heal and be better and that I'd never eat again. It does get better. I am very pleased now. I've lost 18 pounds in these 1st two weeks. > in OK > 7-8-03 > post op open rny > -18 pounds > New > > > Hi, my name is Tammy and I just joined the group. I had surgery one > week ago today. I am going through all the emotional states of why > did I do this to myself and did I make the right decision. I am not > hungry but I find I just WANT food because I can't have it!! Has > anyone else been through this????? I am looking for support and > advice to make it through until my doctor allows me to eat real food > besided jello! Thanks! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 Hi Tammy, take it from one who has advanced to cream soups and puddings, it was well worth it! I also had my surgery 1 week ago today. I went through a short 'why did i do this?' phase a couple of days ago, when the pain was bad. But now that i haven't taken a pain med in 2 whole days, and I got to eat my first scrambled egg, I feel much better. My family just finished their dinner. I won't goi into details, but it smelled great, and contained foods I cannot have for at least 6 months. Sure, I feel a little bummed that I cannot ingest that inviting smell, but geez, I need to keep my goal in mind, and now that I have the tools to get there, I am much better off. Feel better soon, I know you will! bill g > Hi, my name is Tammy and I just joined the group. I had surgery one > week ago today. I am going through all the emotional states of why > did I do this to myself and did I make the right decision. I am not > hungry but I find I just WANT food because I can't have it!! Has > anyone else been through this????? I am looking for support and > advice to make it through until my doctor allows me to eat real food > besided jello! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 welcome to the winning side. wasn't hungry till 5 months out, thankfully. lori h. > Hi, my name is Tammy and I just joined the group. I had surgery one > week ago today. I am going through all the emotional states of why > did I do this to myself and did I make the right decision. I am not > hungry but I find I just WANT food because I can't have it!! Has > anyone else been through this????? I am looking for support and > advice to make it through until my doctor allows me to eat real food > besided jello! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2003 Report Share Posted July 23, 2003 welcome aboard, lesa. ask anything. as for a testimonial, i wouldn't trade the past 14 months for anything. i have my quality of life back. it hasn't been easy or automatic though! keep posting. lori h. > hello everyone, my name is Lesa, im 46 and thinkging of having the > surgery... i have been doing a lot reading and research on the > gastric bypass and decided to try to find others who have already > had the surgery and could tell me what i have in store. I m 5'2 270 > and BMI 49 have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. just hate > having all those negitive descriptions... *smile* > i would love to talk to some of you and ask some questions... > hope to hear from some of you soon! > lesa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2003 Report Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hi Leza, Welcome to the family!! Ask away we are here to help any way we can Pamela 11/19/02 120 lbs gone!! Miami > hello everyone, my name is Lesa, im 46 and thinkging of having the > surgery... i have been doing a lot reading and research on the > gastric bypass and decided to try to find others who have already > had the surgery and could tell me what i have in store. I m 5'2 270 > and BMI 49 have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. just hate > having all those negitive descriptions... *smile* > i would love to talk to some of you and ask some questions... > hope to hear from some of you soon! > lesa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2003 Report Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hi! Welcome aboard. I am also new. I just had my surgery 7/14/03. One week 2 days. I had lap RNY and I feel AWESOME. I am down 22 lbs and would do it all over again. I had a few moments of regret right after surgery, when I wanted food and couldn't have it, but now, I am doing great and FEELING great. Good luck on your decision. I'm glad I chose to do it! Tammy > > hello everyone, my name is Lesa, im 46 and thinkging of having the > > surgery... i have been doing a lot reading and research on the > > gastric bypass and decided to try to find others who have already > > had the surgery and could tell me what i have in store. I m 5'2 270 > > and BMI 49 have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. just hate > > having all those negitive descriptions... *smile* > > i would love to talk to some of you and ask some questions... > > hope to hear from some of you soon! > > lesa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2003 Report Share Posted July 31, 2003 HI TAMMY I TO HAD THE SURGERY BACK IN 7/99 AND AGAIN IN4/2001 DUE TO COMPLICATION BUT I LOST 270LBS I NEVER REGRET IT HAVE ANY [Q] E-MAIL ME AT Hunkywoman@... MY NAME IS DAWN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2012 Report Share Posted August 29, 2012 Though I've known of my nada's bpd for a few decades, I've never sought counsel for its effects. I just put geographic distance between us and got very good at healthy self-talk. On the whole, my self-therapy worked. I am a happy person with my own functional family and I have many friends, although I do tend to have friends that resemble a caseload, but I am much, MUCH, better about this. Also, I have a hard time expressing anger. (Is this common?) I sought support today because I am in the rejected part of the nada's bpd cycle; she is not talking to me, refusing to tell me what it is that I did to offend her. This has been going on ever since I graduated with an MFA earlier in the month. I feel like I always have, like a three-year old; shamed, GUILTY, and yes, physically ill and depressed. I'm too old for this #$%^! I know. I realized that for every big event in my life, graduations, marriage, birth of kids, she was always " not talking to me " over something unrelated. It took me all this time to see that! My problem is that I have a mentally disabled sister who lives with her, and my sister is very sad if we are not talking, so I just have to work at reconcilliation for my sister's sake, but it takes a toll. I feel so spent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2012 Report Share Posted August 29, 2012 Hi , Congratulations on your MFA!  That's quite an accomplishment. And I wish you tremendous success in your new career. Unfortunately, nadas will do ANYTHING to sabotage your success and life accomplishments. They do this by making one feel guilty for being alive and having a successful life. I think that they actually feel jealous. What you did to " offend " her was to individuate, claim your life and have a successful new career. It's on occasions such as this where I find it really hurts the most to have a nada. My experience is that this behavior never stops! They ruin self-esteem.  The ruin careers. And they try to ruin marriages by trying to turn one's husband against us. I am proud of you and happy for your attaining your MFA! -L ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2012 11:12 AM Subject: New  Though I've known of my nada's bpd for a few decades, I've never sought counsel for its effects. I just put geographic distance between us and got very good at healthy self-talk. On the whole, my self-therapy worked. I am a happy person with my own functional family and I have many friends, although I do tend to have friends that resemble a caseload, but I am much, MUCH, better about this. Also, I have a hard time expressing anger. (Is this common?) I sought support today because I am in the rejected part of the nada's bpd cycle; she is not talking to me, refusing to tell me what it is that I did to offend her. This has been going on ever since I graduated with an MFA earlier in the month. I feel like I always have, like a three-year old; shamed, GUILTY, and yes, physically ill and depressed. I'm too old for this #$%^! I know. I realized that for every big event in my life, graduations, marriage, birth of kids, she was always " not talking to me " over something unrelated. It took me all this time to see that! My problem is that I have a mentally disabled sister who lives with her, and my sister is very sad if we are not talking, so I just have to work at reconcilliation for my sister's sake, but it takes a toll. I feel so spent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2012 Report Share Posted August 30, 2012 I'm just learning about all of this myself, but I wanted to comment on your question about expressing anger. Yes, I do understand that children of bpd parents are likely to have problems expressing anger.  In my situation, when I got mad at my mom, she would start a raging session of anything that I'd ever done " wrong " since the day I was born. It was also quite a sight to see another person lose such control when angry. So I learned to not express anger. I was always so proud that I'm not a " yeller " like my mom. However, I just read last night about other ways that people express anger, and I learned that I have been expressing anger all along--to my mom, to my husband, to the person who cut me off while driving, ... . According to Surviving a Borderline Parent, some common expressions of anger are: feeling inwardly annoyed, impatience, muscle tension, dread, and shutting down. I understand now that feeling anger is valid and that talking and writing about it are perfectly healthy ways to express the feeling. I bet expressing anger through art would be good too.  I also wonder if maybe your mom doesn't know why she's upset. Being jealous about a daughter's wonderful accomplishments would probably feel pretty lousy if she were to acknowledge it. I commend you on continuing to pursue your independence and dreams even though you have someone trying to hold you back.  I wish you and your sister well.   ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2012 11:12 AM Subject: New  Though I've known of my nada's bpd for a few decades, I've never sought counsel for its effects. I just put geographic distance between us and got very good at healthy self-talk. On the whole, my self-therapy worked. I am a happy person with my own functional family and I have many friends, although I do tend to have friends that resemble a caseload, but I am much, MUCH, better about this. Also, I have a hard time expressing anger. (Is this common?) I sought support today because I am in the rejected part of the nada's bpd cycle; she is not talking to me, refusing to tell me what it is that I did to offend her. This has been going on ever since I graduated with an MFA earlier in the month. I feel like I always have, like a three-year old; shamed, GUILTY, and yes, physically ill and depressed. I'm too old for this #$%^! I know. I realized that for every big event in my life, graduations, marriage, birth of kids, she was always " not talking to me " over something unrelated. It took me all this time to see that! My problem is that I have a mentally disabled sister who lives with her, and my sister is very sad if we are not talking, so I just have to work at reconcilliation for my sister's sake, but it takes a toll. I feel so spent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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