You Are All A Blessing in My Life!

September 10, 2012

Hi Again Everyone,

Just wanted to say that you are all a blessing in my life. Â And I send you all

huge hugs!

With Love to All of You!

-L

________________________________

To: " WTOAdultChildren1 " WTOAdultChildren1 >

Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 9:29 AM

Subject: Re: Everything Is a Mess

Â

Hi Teri,

Thanks for the big hug! Â I really needed that!

-L

________________________________

To: " WTOAdultChildren1 " WTOAdultChildren1 >

Sent: Sunday, September 9, 2012 5:16 PM

Subject: Re: Everything Is a Mess

Â

I just want to wrap you in my arms and give you a hug.

I don't think you can save your mom. And going there to be with her will only

mean taking her abuse int opinion.

Go see her if you can afford to but only if you can continue your classes.

The rest of your life is going to be waking up with yourself.

Help yourself first do that you have the ability to help others later.

Teri Birdsall

On Sep 7, 2012, at 12:17 AM, " laura.halloran@... "

laura.halloran@...> wrote:

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My nada is not doing well. She is elderly, has osteoporosis and sciatica and

is now bedridden. Last week she said that she needed an

> ambulance to get out of bed. My brother is disabled and lives with her. He

works at a sheltered workshop. And he has social workers helping him and taking

him out for fun.

>

> Nada told me that she wanted me to quit school (have a grant), sell my condo

and come " home " with a one-way ticket. And she wants this done by the end of the

year. (previously posted all this stuff...)

>

> Nada is taking lots of meds. And she does not appear to be getting better. The

doctor thinks that she may have a hairline fracture on the spine. And she needs

to get an MRI as soon as she finishes taking her meds. She may wind up in the

hospital or a nursing home.

>

> During all this, my brother is not going to work b/c nada " Needs him " to take

care of her. I called his social workers last week. And they visited nada. At

first, I was not going to tell her that they were coming b/c she would get

really mad. And that scares me. But my family attorney advised me to tell her.

So I did. She acted okay when they were around.

>

> I received a phone call after the visit from one of the social workers who

told me that " I was not there. " As if I should have been there.

>

> And then a few days later, I heard from one of the other social workers who

told me that nada is really not doing well....And that she really wants me to

come down...And that I really should come down and stay for a few months.....

>

> So, I spilled the beans and told him all about nada and bpd (which I told the

other social worker on the phone when I called before they went to visit her).

So, now I have the guilt trip from the social worker. And I feel really sick.

>

> I've been trying so hard to put my life back together after the tragic and

sudden death of my husband several years ago. And the thought of going back

there to live literally means that my life is over. This is b/c my nada would

want me to " sacrifice my life " for her. If things were " normal " I would want to

be with my mother. And I really needed a physical mother after my husband died.

But she did not come to the funeral b/c it was so far away. But she became more

of a " mother " to me b/c I developed a " loving " phone relationship with her over

the years. She would never want me to come to visit over the holidays, etc, b/c

she would always say " come down when you get a one-way ticket. " So visiting nada

means sacrificing my life. I haven't seen her in 14 years since she tried to

turn my husband against me when we visited (and then left).

>

> Things are really crashing in on me right now b/c my grant is supported by the

state work force board and I am allowed to collect unemployment while in

approved training. And now the state is discontinuing continued benefits. And my

first claim ends in a few weeks.

>

> So....now I am unemployed, possibly without unemployment benefits, a full-load

of full-time courses, no income, a mortgage and expenses. And my home is falling

apart. I can't afford to stay here.

>

> I think that I am forced to sell the place and go home to nada.

>

> EITHER WAY - I'M DOOMED!

>

> I was awakened this AM by a nightmare where I was in a dark high stairwell

with nada and all the plaster on the ceiling and all around caved in and I fell

about six stories being buried alive with structural debris and white plaster

pieces. As I was being buried alive, I said...I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOULD DIE

THIS WAY....

>

> And then I woke up. So, I'm kind of frazzled. This whole way of life is ending

for me here. Or it will end there - with nada. My independent life here is not

sustainable. I really need to get a job. And I'm scared to death - literally. I

just don't know how I'm going to survive all of this.

>

> Thanks for listening to all of this....I'm just talking about how I feel. I'm

so scared. I feel helpless.

>

> -L

>

September 10, 2012

Hugs back to you, ((((())))). I'm glad we can all share our stories,

insights and healings with each other here.

-Annie

>

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > My nada is not doing well. She is elderly, has osteoporosis and sciatica and

is now bedridden. Last week she said that she needed an

> > ambulance to get out of bed. My brother is disabled and lives with her. He

works at a sheltered workshop. And he has social workers helping him and taking

him out for fun.

> >

> > Nada told me that she wanted me to quit school (have a grant), sell my condo

and come " home " with a one-way ticket. And she wants this done by the end of the

year. (previously posted all this stuff...)

> >

> > Nada is taking lots of meds. And she does not appear to be getting better.

The doctor thinks that she may have a hairline fracture on the spine. And she

needs to get an MRI as soon as she finishes taking her meds. She may wind up in

the hospital or a nursing home.

> >

> > During all this, my brother is not going to work b/c nada " Needs him " to

take care of her. I called his social workers last week. And they visited nada.

At first, I was not going to tell her that they were coming b/c she would get

really mad. And that scares me. But my family attorney advised me to tell her.

So I did. She acted okay when they were around.

> >

> > I received a phone call after the visit from one of the social workers who

told me that " I was not there. " As if I should have been there.

> >

> > And then a few days later, I heard from one of the other social workers who

told me that nada is really not doing well....And that she really wants me to

come down...And that I really should come down and stay for a few months.....

> >

> > So, I spilled the beans and told him all about nada and bpd (which I told

the other social worker on the phone when I called before they went to visit

her). So, now I have the guilt trip from the social worker. And I feel really

sick.

> >

> > I've been trying so hard to put my life back together after the tragic and