Sort of New & thanks for being here.

[Guest guest]

Hello:

I have made a few posts but haven't really introduced

myself. My name is Luanne, I'm 42, never married and

no kids.

I have suffered through painful intercourse since I

was about 28. It seems to run in my family, my Aunt

and a Neice of mine have told me they have the same

problem. We always wondered why my Aunt and Uncle had

separate bedrooms. Now I know.

At least she had a husband who cared about her enough

to stay. I have no life. I have had great

boyfriends come and go, even the love of my life is

gone. Everyone (except present company) is having sex

and encouraging me to participate and wondering what's

wrong with me when I don't.

And I just don't want to hear the standard replies to

- sex hurts me:

1) It's all in your head honey.

2) They laugh like it's a joke - but then it's okay to

have viagra commercials everywhere. How insensitive.

the public at large need to be educated so it isn't a

joke.

3) They just plain flat out call you a liar.

How do I deal with people? What can I tell them? At

42, it is getting harder and harder to hide the no

Hubby, no kids thing.

Not to mention that this is killing me! It's been 4

years since I've had a partner. They last about a

year and then they leave or I just get so sick of

being called a liar that I have ended relationships

over it!

I am so glad this group is here!

IT gives me hope reading these e-mails and knowing

that, finally, for once I am not singled out as weird,

alone, and there is not much hope when no docor will

diagnose this as anything more than IBS!

My life is GONE. No one can ever bring back those

reproductive years.

If I hadn't seen a TV show on Lifetime, I would never

have heard of this condition and been able to seek

help for it.

Maybe I should have that surgery too. It sounds

invasive and when I first heard of it I thought it was

barbaric. But I have read in here over and over that

it could be the only way to get relief. I'm thinking

about it.

Thank you for reading this, I needed to tell someone.

Lu

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Lu,

You are not alone at all and there are lots of things to try to help,

surgery is not the only option!! I have gotten much much better with

estrace and physical therapy and dietary changes. Read as much as you

can on here and be willing to experiment and do lots of trial and

error, because something should work eventually! It took me about 4

years of constant trial and error to find what worked - and I'm not

100% better yet but I'm getting there.

I have heard all those ridiculous phrases over and over, mostly from

doctors and people who thought they were being helpful - have a glass

of wine, just relax, go to therapy, etc. ICK. Find a specialist who is

actually familiar with these issues and educate yourself - that's what

will help the most!

Melinda