Guest guest Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Wow, Fiona, thanks for posting about this. I had a very similar experience with my mom recently and was going to write a post with the exact same title, actually!! She had just gone to see a new therapist for the first time. She called me afterwards and said that she knew her panic and anxiety were pushing her children away and she wanted to work on it. I was so blindsided by her saying this that I questioned my own identification of her as BPD (to my knowledge she's never been formally diagnosed with anything). And I wondered if I should speak to her about my concerns. But it was really helpful to read everyone's warnings that the moment was indeed temporary and I would regret speaking rashly. Indeed, the moment has passed and she is up to her old tricks. Leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Personally, I hate when that happens. It just feels like more emotional blackmail and adds to the misery. A few months ago fada put me in one of his typical double binds (telling my handicapped brother I would do something when he knew I had a prior commitment). Nada made some nasty comment about my hurting everyone's feelings, and I just looked right at her and said " that's crazy. " She said " yeah, you're right, that is crazy. sorry. " This was in the car on the way to the hospital for me to have surgery. My very first thought was what if for all those years, instead of crying and fighting back and letting her drag me into her chaos, what if I had just said " that's crazy? " It was in my power to stop the abuse all along! Which is not remotely true, but every time nada does something like that or apologizes for being so needy I feel like if I hadn't failed at my job of policing her and calling her out on her crap she would have been nice to me. Stay crazy nada, please... > > Wow, Fiona, thanks for posting about this. I had a very similar experience with my mom recently and was going to write a post with the exact same title, actually!! She had just gone to see a new therapist for the first time. She called me afterwards and said that she knew her panic and anxiety were pushing her children away and she wanted to work on it. > I was so blindsided by her saying this that I questioned my own identification of her as BPD (to my knowledge she's never been formally diagnosed with anything). And I wondered if I should speak to her about my concerns. But it was really helpful to read everyone's warnings that the moment was indeed temporary and I would regret speaking rashly. Indeed, the moment has passed and she is up to her old tricks. > Leah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 hi Leah! ha ha, that's funny that you were having the same experience! yes, everyone was right. The moment passed and her setting returned to 'default.' It was nice while it lasted. It was hard to see her trying to make sense of herself. Part of me wants to revert to our old roles and try to rescue her from her pain, but I know that will only create more trouble and no solutions. thanks for sharing! Fiona > > Wow, Fiona, thanks for posting about this. I had a very similar experience with my mom recently and was going to write a post with the exact same title, actually!! She had just gone to see a new therapist for the first time. She called me afterwards and said that she knew her panic and anxiety were pushing her children away and she wanted to work on it. > I was so blindsided by her saying this that I questioned my own identification of her as BPD (to my knowledge she's never been formally diagnosed with anything). And I wondered if I should speak to her about my concerns. But it was really helpful to read everyone's warnings that the moment was indeed temporary and I would regret speaking rashly. Indeed, the moment has passed and she is up to her old tricks. > Leah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.