Guest guest Posted September 16, 2012 Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Thank you, , that was very insightful. :-) jwjrenslow@...> jwjrenslow@... _____ From: WTOAdultChildren1 [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of Sent: Sunday, September 16, 2012 3:43 PM To: WTOAdultChildren1 Subject: Powerful Alice quote My T gave me this quote from Alice : " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 16, 2012 Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 this is profound for me in more than one way. I have destroyed my physical body to survive. I am trying to give it a break now, but it is really REALLY hard. puking is a good analogy. I am right there with you. Meikjn > > My T gave me this quote from Alice : > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 16, 2012 Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Thank you for posting this quote, powerful is exactly the word. And your analogy is right on as well. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street, or at a meeting at work, or talking to someone and suddenly there's this overwhelming need to cry. So I run for the nearest bathroom and spend a few minutes getting it under control. Exactly like puking- it's involuntary and it's not relevant to the current situation, it just overtakes me. I hadn't connected this directly before, but the crying " attacks " have lessened since I've started recovery work. It's like just acknowledging the presence of the pain (and where it came from) means it doesn't have to scream for my attention as much anymore. > > > > My T gave me this quote from Alice : > > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " > > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. > > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 How true this is. I remember the precise moment when I came to this realisation. There is truly no way around the stormy pain that little child feels inside but to hold on for dear life and go right through it. This summer with the help of my therapist, I " took custody " of my childhood self and made myself repsonsible for her care. I know it sounds achingly cheesy, but it meant a lot for me. Rather than hear my nada's voice in my head, berating me and screaming at me, I tell myself the things I needed to hear as a child. A little " You are doing great, keep trying! " has gone an incredibly long way. Thanks for sharing this, it's beautiful. - Jets > > My T gave me this quote from Alice : > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2012 Report Share Posted September 17, 2012 Hi Jets, I am currently in the process of doing the same thing- my T said I am adopting my childhood self. I hesitate to try to explain this to non-KO's because it does sound so cheesy! > > > > My T gave me this quote from Alice : > > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " > > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. > > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2012 Report Share Posted September 18, 2012 , I agree, I haven't shared it with anyone but my husband (who had a healthy mother, but we suspect BPD Paternal grandmother). It has been such a wonderful process!! Good luck. It might be cheesy (okay it is), but it is so freeing - Jets > > > > > > My T gave me this quote from Alice : > > > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. " > > > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out. > > > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2012 Report Share Posted November 2, 2012 The quote was beautiful. As the adult child of a woman who (I strongly believe) has BPD, I have seen how my body tells me something is wrong. After times of great stress with my mother, I will either get a debilitating migraine, or my stomach will start to hurt right behind my navel -- an acute, awful pain. Sometimes I'll vomit, sometimes I'll just be doubled over in pain for a time. You're not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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