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RE: Powerful Alice quote

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Thank you, , that was very insightful. :-)

jwjrenslow@...> jwjrenslow@...

_____

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Sunday, September 16, 2012 3:43 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Powerful Alice quote

My T gave me this quote from Alice :

" The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our

feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with

medication. But someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as

incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no

compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop

evading the truth. "

My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross

analogy), I am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually

deal with it- feel it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up-

I fear it, I hate it, but I feel better when I get it out.

KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to

rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well

guess what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it

doesn't matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If

you are like me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes,

it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you

were and tell them they are safe.

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this is profound for me in more than one way. I have destroyed my physical body

to survive. I am trying to give it a break now, but it is really REALLY hard.

puking is a good analogy. I am right there with you.

Meikjn

>

> My T gave me this quote from Alice :

> " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings

manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But

someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child,

who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will

not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. "

> My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I

am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel

it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it,

but I feel better when I get it out.

> KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize

it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was.

And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt.

We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to

downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and

comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe.

>

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Thank you for posting this quote, powerful is exactly the word.

And your analogy is right on as well. Sometimes I'll be walking down the

street, or at a meeting at work, or talking to someone and suddenly there's this

overwhelming need to cry. So I run for the nearest bathroom and spend a few

minutes getting it under control. Exactly like puking- it's involuntary and

it's not relevant to the current situation, it just overtakes me.

I hadn't connected this directly before, but the crying " attacks " have lessened

since I've started recovery work. It's like just acknowledging the presence of

the pain (and where it came from) means it doesn't have to scream for my

attention as much anymore.

> >

> > My T gave me this quote from Alice :

> > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings

manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But

someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child,

who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will

not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. "

> > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I

am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel

it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it,

but I feel better when I get it out.

> > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to

rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess

what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't

matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like

me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE

HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them

they are safe.

> >

>

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How true this is. I remember the precise moment when I came to this

realisation. There is truly no way around the stormy pain that little child

feels inside but to hold on for dear life and go right through it. This summer

with the help of my therapist, I " took custody " of my childhood self and made

myself repsonsible for her care.

I know it sounds achingly cheesy, but it meant a lot for me. Rather than hear

my nada's voice in my head, berating me and screaming at me, I tell myself the

things I needed to hear as a child. A little " You are doing great, keep

trying! " has gone an incredibly long way.

Thanks for sharing this, it's beautiful.

- Jets

>

> My T gave me this quote from Alice :

> " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings

manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But

someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child,

who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will

not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. "

> My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I

am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel

it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it,

but I feel better when I get it out.

> KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to rationalize

it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess what- it was.

And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't matter. We hurt.

We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like me, stop trying to

downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Now cradle and

comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them they are safe.

>

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Hi Jets,

I am currently in the process of doing the same thing- my T said I am adopting

my childhood self. I hesitate to try to explain this to non-KO's because it does

sound so cheesy!

> >

> > My T gave me this quote from Alice :

> > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings

manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But

someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child,

who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will

not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. "

> > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I

am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel

it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it,

but I feel better when I get it out.

> > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to

rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess

what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't

matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like

me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE

HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them

they are safe.

> >

>

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,

I agree, I haven't shared it with anyone but my husband (who had a healthy

mother, but we suspect BPD Paternal grandmother). It has been such a wonderful

process!! Good luck. It might be cheesy (okay it is), but it is so freeing :)

- Jets

> > >

> > > My T gave me this quote from Alice :

> > > " The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we

repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings

manipulated, our perceptions confused, our body tricked with medication. But

someday the body will presents its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child,

who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will

not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth. "

> > > My body has presented the bill. I have made great strides when it comes to

breaking down my wall of defenses, but now (and sorry for the gross analogy), I

am throwing up all the emotional pain. Now I have to actually deal with it- feel

it, understand it, let it go. Ugh. Just like throwing up- I fear it, I hate it,

but I feel better when I get it out.

> > > KO's- allow yourself to feel the pain and emotion. I would try to

rationalize it, saying, oh come on it couldn't have been THAT bad. Well guess

what- it was. And even if it wasn't by someone else's standards- it doesn't

matter. We hurt. We were very, very hurt. That's what matters. If you are like

me, stop trying to downgrade the pain and just accept that yes, it HURT LIKE

HELL. Now cradle and comfort that little boy or girl that you were and tell them

they are safe.

> > >

> >

>

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  • 1 month later...

The quote was beautiful. As the adult child of a woman who (I strongly believe)

has BPD, I have seen how my body tells me something is wrong.

After times of great stress with my mother, I will either get a debilitating

migraine, or my stomach will start to hurt right behind my navel -- an acute,

awful pain. Sometimes I'll vomit, sometimes I'll just be doubled over in pain

for a time.

You're not alone.

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