Nada just showed up when I said not to - feedback please

[Guest guest]

My 9-year old son has been throwing up for 7 days straight, and I've been

updating my mother each day. I called her this morning to tell her that we had

more tests done and that it is indeed just a virus and that we were getting

medication so that he could finally eat and not throw it all up. She asked if I

wanted her to come over. I said no. Three different times.

 

I did not want her over because she adds more stress. Although we had x-rays and

blood work, she is insisting that " it's just not right " and that something more

serious is going on.

 

I had this feeling that she would just show up. And, sure enough, she did.

 

Before I knew about BPD, I would have just let her in and kept my annoyance to

myself--as I've done the many times she has done things like this before.

 

This time, I answered the door and said something like, " I told you I just

wanted to spend the day with me and my son " -- or something like that.

 

She understandably got upset and didn't understand my response to her visit. I

told her it was because she didn't respect what I had said.

 

She hugged my son and said that she would just go.

 

Feeling guilty, I said she could stay with my son.

 

But she left instead.

 

Then, she called on her cell phone. I just let her talk. She said that she

wanted to give me moral support, be with her grandson, and that my dad even said

she should have come over. She said that she didn't think I should be mad, and

that it was not her intention. I just said " thank you. " And we hung up. I wanted

to repeat that it was because she didn't respect what I had said, but I didn't

think she would " get it " and that it would have only prolonged the

" conversation. "

 

So, of course, I'm feeling like a jerk! I totally understand her wanting to come

over, and I know she must just feel awful that I reacted like I did.

 

I want to establish my boundaries, and I really did not want her here. But what

do you think? Was I too harsh? Should I " pick my battles " and let some things

go?