Nada helping my uBPDx try to take custody of my DD

[Guest guest]

I have a DD2 and a lot of BPDs in my life (ex-h, Nada, her 2 sisters, Grandnada

and cousin) Dad is enabling, dishrag, Schizoid so he has no counterbalancing

family or friends.

I am undergoing a bitter divorce from uBPDx, which Nada did not support (uBPDx's

emotional and sexual abuse were perfectly fine, I should just live my life being

abused by EVERYONE, because Nada's emotional and physical abuse were not enough

to destroy my spirit)

When Nada didn't support me and made nasty comments about my personal choices, I

told her she had to apologize to have a relationship with me. Of course she

couldn't, so we have been NC for over a year.

Fast forward to a few months ago when I filed for sole custody of my daughter in

CT where my divorce happened, because uBPDx refuses to coparent, threatens my

life in writing and otherwise harasses me. It is a nightmare, and the court is

so jammed up with cses it just doesn't want to do anything about him threatening

me.

This prompted him to file his own suit for sole custody in NY(it's complicated,

but we both now live in NY even though the case was finalized in CT), alleging a

serious of delusional things (which hopefully the courts will dump pretty quick)

So you may be wondering, why is she posting this on the adult children board

when this is clearly a co-parenting issue?

BECAUSE NADA IS ON HIS SIDE. One of the reasons he cites for why he should get

sole custody is because he keeps contact with my family where I don't. Nada has

been sucking up to him ever since I cut contact (before that they hated each

other) and she is helping him file against me, because she knows the only way

for her to have her chance to defile and poison my DD is through him, that I

will never let her anywhere near my precious, innocent daughter.

His charges are spurious and will be dropped, but that doesn't change that I

feel betrayed, that I have to spend enormous time money and energy fighting my

lunatic ex, and instead of helping me and listening and being supportive like a

mother would, Nada is enabling him!

It's actually worse than being an orphan. At least if my Nada were dead she

wouldn't be enabling and validating my attacker.

I am Jewish so now is supposed to be a time of atonement and forgiveness. I'd

really like to be in that place mentally today but I am angry. I don't deserve

to have a life full of people trying to destroy me. :/ Mothers are supposed to

love their children. I love my daughter and would go to the ends of the earth to

protect her and make her feel worthy. My mother lives to destroy me.

I am very sad and angry at her today :/

[Guest guest]

mdg, this is so sad. Your mother has betrayed you utterly and completely. You're

smart to go NC with her but what a nightmare!! Just remember that in the

long-run your daughter will be better off without the abusers in her life. She's

going to learn from a strong mother who protected her and did what was best for

her at all costs. It's a shame your nada wouldn't do the same for you.

Hugs from HF

>

> I have a DD2 and a lot of BPDs in my life (ex-h, Nada, her 2 sisters,

Grandnada and cousin) Dad is enabling, dishrag, Schizoid so he has no

counterbalancing family or friends.

>

> I am undergoing a bitter divorce from uBPDx, which Nada did not support

(uBPDx's emotional and sexual abuse were perfectly fine, I should just live my

life being abused by EVERYONE, because Nada's emotional and physical abuse were

not enough to destroy my spirit)

>

> When Nada didn't support me and made nasty comments about my personal choices,

I told her she had to apologize to have a relationship with me. Of course she

couldn't, so we have been NC for over a year.

>

> Fast forward to a few months ago when I filed for sole custody of my daughter

in CT where my divorce happened, because uBPDx refuses to coparent, threatens my

life in writing and otherwise harasses me. It is a nightmare, and the court is

so jammed up with cses it just doesn't want to do anything about him threatening

me.

>

> This prompted him to file his own suit for sole custody in NY(it's

complicated, but we both now live in NY even though the case was finalized in

CT), alleging a serious of delusional things (which hopefully the courts will

dump pretty quick)

>

> So you may be wondering, why is she posting this on the adult children board

when this is clearly a co-parenting issue?

>

> BECAUSE NADA IS ON HIS SIDE. One of the reasons he cites for why he should get

sole custody is because he keeps contact with my family where I don't. Nada has

been sucking up to him ever since I cut contact (before that they hated each

other) and she is helping him file against me, because she knows the only way

for her to have her chance to defile and poison my DD is through him, that I

will never let her anywhere near my precious, innocent daughter.

>

> His charges are spurious and will be dropped, but that doesn't change that I

feel betrayed, that I have to spend enormous time money and energy fighting my

lunatic ex, and instead of helping me and listening and being supportive like a

mother would, Nada is enabling him!

>

> It's actually worse than being an orphan. At least if my Nada were dead she

wouldn't be enabling and validating my attacker.

>

> I am Jewish so now is supposed to be a time of atonement and forgiveness. I'd

really like to be in that place mentally today but I am angry. I don't deserve

to have a life full of people trying to destroy me. :/ Mothers are supposed to

love their children. I love my daughter and would go to the ends of the earth to

protect her and make her feel worthy. My mother lives to destroy me.

>

> I am very sad and angry at her today :/

>