New Member - Mom of BPD

[Guest guest]

Hi there. You want to join WTOParentsofBPs.

So happy to have found all of you as I certainly could use some support.

My daughter was just diagnosed with BPD. She will be 23 in just a week.

History is that I adopted her from a Romanian orphange when she was 16

months old where she sat pretty much neglected. She seemed pretty happy

as a little girl, but somewhere around 10 or 11 she started getting very

moody. I chalked it up to childhood and that she would outgrow it.

Even earlier around 4 yrs she would complain about her stomach hurting

or a scared feeling in her tummy. It wasn't until around 14 that we

realized it was anxiety. We did rounds of therapists. By the time she

was 15 she acted as if she hated her Dad and I, by the time she was a

senior in high school she moved out. Was then diagnosed as bipolar, put

on lamictal, and zoloft. Made things worse. She would barely talk to

me. I went to Mexico on vacation as I was having a nervous breakdown.

I couldn't understand why she hated her Dad and I. I was devistated.

We then decided to retire and move to Mexico. She acted like she didn't

care. She was working, had a few friends and her own life...could care

less about us.After we retired she decided to go to college, she

actually graduated last June which was a struggle for her. Every time

we have seen her over the past 4-5 years she seems indiffrent and angry

with us. It is obvious she doesn't want to be with us.About a week ago

we found out she has trashed her apartment, broken the windows, threw a

bottle through her tv, punched holes in the walls, broken all her dishes

and broke other glass with her hands as well as breaking a window in her

car. A crisis center was called by her friend, police called. The next

day she met with a therapist at the crisis center who diagnosed her as

BPD. She has 7 out of the 10 Diagnostic Criteria for BPD. Her Dad and I

have flown up from Mexico for a month and are working on getting her

into a DBT program. Long waiting list, but at least she is in a city

that can offer this. Looks like insurance will only cover a very small

amount. I am really struggling with guilt feeling like I abandoned her

when we retired to Mexico 3 years ago. However, we are in Seattle and I

suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) due to the weather. Her

mood swings and anger at us change every few minutes. It is exhausting.

She has so much anxiety late in the afternoon knowing darkness is coming

you can see the change coming. She can't sleep which makes it really

bad. I have been giving her 1/2 an Ambien each night just so she can

sleep.

Have many of your BPs been helped by any meds? She is really wanting

help which I know is a real positive. We can only stay until the end of

the month and I am scared about how our leaving will affect her....even

though she acts very indifferent around us.

Any advice or words of encouragement will be much appreciated. Have

many of you had BPs go through DBT with success?

Thanks for listening,Joni [:-s]