Guest guest Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 I did a lot of good work over the summer with my workbooks and exercises to overcome my BPD mom and dishrag dad. I had to stop at one point because it was just getting too intense. Now I find myself feeling in a funk and I'm more depressed than ever. I am wondering if I will ever hit bottom. Finding joy is harder and I can't seem to start anything. I drove past mom & dad's house this week, I probably shouldn't have. Didn't think about the path I was taking home from the vet and found myself going past. It brought up lots of memories, some good ones. I spent a lot of mornings having coffee with them. I found myself feeling nostalgic for those days, and then feeling like such an outcast. Part of me wishes I could go back to the days before I knew about BPD, before I was on her permanent sh*t list. Why can I seemingly get ok for a while, then fall back into feeling so broken? In some ways, ignorance was bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 Dear Echobabe, I understand what you feel. Sometimes I need to seek informations about BPD, and sometimes it is invading me too much. When it overwhelms me, I stop reading the posts for a little while, and I put my books back in the shelves, and I read some Louise Hay's books. Do you know Louise Hay ? She is so great. She has written " You can heal your life " , and many other good books to learn to love ourselves. She has also made powerful CDs with positive affirmations, I used to listen to her CD " Self-esteem affirmations " every day during one month when I feel down and it really makes me feel much better. I bought these books and CDs on Amazon few years ago, and they have really changed my life. Maybe it could help you too ? I have also some good memories of when I was a child. Unfortunately, my family house has been sold for few years and most of the people of my childhood are not alive today. I have found a lot of confort to write a book for one year about my childhood memories, to keep all those past events living somehow. I don't know if you want to do this too, but for me this has been very helpful too. Please take very good care of yourself. Natacha ________________________________ De : echobabe_is_free echobabe@...> À : WTOAdultChildren1 Envoyé le : Vendredi 12 octobre 2012 11h26 Objet : Having trouble coping  I did a lot of good work over the summer with my workbooks and exercises to overcome my BPD mom and dishrag dad. I had to stop at one point because it was just getting too intense. Now I find myself feeling in a funk and I'm more depressed than ever. I am wondering if I will ever hit bottom. Finding joy is harder and I can't seem to start anything. I drove past mom & dad's house this week, I probably shouldn't have. Didn't think about the path I was taking home from the vet and found myself going past. It brought up lots of memories, some good ones. I spent a lot of mornings having coffee with them. I found myself feeling nostalgic for those days, and then feeling like such an outcast. Part of me wishes I could go back to the days before I knew about BPD, before I was on her permanent sh*t list. Why can I seemingly get ok for a while, then fall back into feeling so broken? In some ways, ignorance was bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 Dear Echobabe, I feel the same way. I am so depressed right now. Honestly thinking why am I even here. Mom was BPD and I have two adult daughters who are BPD. I am not. I am depressed LOL....the grief is unbelievable. What books did you work about your mom? And what is " dishrag " ? Thanks Jean Ann > > Dear Echobabe, > > I understand what you feel. > > Sometimes I need to seek informations about BPD, and sometimes it is invading me too much. > > When it overwhelms me, I stop reading the posts for a little while, and I put my books back in the shelves, and I read some Louise Hay's books. Do you know Louise Hay ? She is so great. She has written " You can heal your life " , and many other good books to learn to love ourselves. > > She has also made powerful CDs with positive affirmations, I used to listen to her CD " Self-esteem affirmations " every day during one month when I feel down and it really makes me feel much better. I bought these books and CDs on Amazon few years ago, and they have really changed my life. Maybe it could help you too ? > > I have also some good memories of when I was a child. Unfortunately, my family house has been sold for few years and most of the people of my childhood are not alive today. I have found a lot of confort to write a book for one year about my childhood memories, to keep all those past events living somehow. I don't know if you want to do this too, but for me this has been very helpful too. > > Please take very good care of yourself. > > > Natacha > > > > ________________________________ > De : echobabe_is_free > À : WTOAdultChildren1 > Envoyé le : Vendredi 12 octobre 2012 11h26 > Objet : Having trouble coping > > >  > I did a lot of good work over the summer with my workbooks and exercises to overcome my BPD mom and dishrag dad. I had to stop at one point because it was just getting too intense. Now I find myself feeling in a funk and I'm more depressed than ever. I am wondering if I will ever hit bottom. Finding joy is harder and I can't seem to start anything. > > I drove past mom & dad's house this week, I probably shouldn't have. Didn't think about the path I was taking home from the vet and found myself going past. It brought up lots of memories, some good ones. I spent a lot of mornings having coffee with them. I found myself feeling nostalgic for those days, and then feeling like such an outcast. > > Part of me wishes I could go back to the days before I knew about BPD, before I was on her permanent sh*t list. > > Why can I seemingly get ok for a while, then fall back into feeling so broken? In some ways, ignorance was bliss. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 Thank you both for responding, Natacha and Jean Ann Yes, working through all this is incredibly hard. You must take it in small sips. Where I mess up is usually doing the piece about nurturing myself--the Louis Hay recommendation is probably spot on, btw. I know of her, but haven't read her/listened. I've been having trouble doing all those things that are supposed to be good for me: eating right, exercising, finding a reason for joy in each day. I think it might be time for affirmations. > > > > Dear Echobabe, > > > > I understand what you feel. > > > > Sometimes I need to seek informations about BPD, and sometimes it is invading me too much. > > > > When it overwhelms me, I stop reading the posts for a little while, and I put my books back in the shelves, and I read some Louise Hay's books. Do you know Louise Hay ? She is so great. She has written " You can heal your life " , and many other good books to learn to love ourselves. > > > > She has also made powerful CDs with positive affirmations, I used to listen to her CD " Self-esteem affirmations " every day during one month when I feel down and it really makes me feel much better. I bought these books and CDs on Amazon few years ago, and they have really changed my life. Maybe it could help you too ? > > > > I have also some good memories of when I was a child. Unfortunately, my family house has been sold for few years and most of the people of my childhood are not alive today. I have found a lot of confort to write a book for one year about my childhood memories, to keep all those past events living somehow. I don't know if you want to do this too, but for me this has been very helpful too. > > > > Please take very good care of yourself. > > > > > > Natacha > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > De : echobabe_is_free > > À : WTOAdultChildren1 > > Envoyé le : Vendredi 12 octobre 2012 11h26 > > Objet : Having trouble coping > > > > > >  > > I did a lot of good work over the summer with my workbooks and exercises to overcome my BPD mom and dishrag dad. I had to stop at one point because it was just getting too intense. Now I find myself feeling in a funk and I'm more depressed than ever. I am wondering if I will ever hit bottom. Finding joy is harder and I can't seem to start anything. > > > > I drove past mom & dad's house this week, I probably shouldn't have. Didn't think about the path I was taking home from the vet and found myself going past. It brought up lots of memories, some good ones. I spent a lot of mornings having coffee with them. I found myself feeling nostalgic for those days, and then feeling like such an outcast. > > > > Part of me wishes I could go back to the days before I knew about BPD, before I was on her permanent sh*t list. > > > > Why can I seemingly get ok for a while, then fall back into feeling so broken? In some ways, ignorance was bliss. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 " Dishrage " is the term we apply to the passive spouse/partner of the BPD. Since the BPD is so aggressive, any life partner who sticks with them usually can only do so by agreeing with all the BPD's nonsense. And by their silence, effectively green-lights all the abuse the BPD visits on the rest of us. Some of the books I have read over the pas 2 years (or are still reading) Understanding the Borderline Mother Scapegoating in Families Safe People Stop Walking on Eggshells Surviving a Borderline Parent Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal' How to Stop Your Relatives from Driving You Crazy Adult Children of Abusive Parents Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook Cut Cords of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality Releasing Ties: Your Guide for Cutting Energy Cords and Attachments Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions > > What books did you work about your mom? And what is " dishrag " ? > > Thanks > Jean Ann > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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