Re: Nada Messages on Facebook

[Guest guest]

I do understand. It's awful.

> **

>

>

> Well, it's been a long time since I've posted.

>

> I've been NC from my nada for about 4 years nownde. In the past she tried

> emailing me but I was able to direct her emails straight to the trash. Then

> she freaked me out one time by showing up at my front door. I was so

> terrified at seeing her standing there I started shaking and felt like I

> was going to throw up. I locked myself in the bathroom until she went away.

> Of course she had to leave a note along with a " gift " -- some stupid book

> about some artist I never heard of.

>

> I've since moved from the state and have felt safer as there's been no

> more attempts at contact from her -- or so I thought.

>

> Anyhow, I had long ago gone through Facebook and blocked everyone who had

> her (fairly common) name. Yesterday, I was checking my messages and

> accidentially hit the " other " tab -- which is generally where all my spam

> goes to.

>

> And there it was. Two messages from her, dated this summer. I didn't read

> them, but the physical sense of shock charging through my body at just

> SEEING THEM THERE was palpable.

>

> I feel so many different emotions. Fear, mostly. Anger, that she's found

> another way of attempting contact even though she KNOWS I don't want to

> hear from her ever again. Rage and Shame that she's probably been stalking

> me on Facebook for months -- years, possibly -- without my knowing. How

> typical. They just LOVE invading your privacy, don't they?

>

> My nada is an evil witch. A disgusting, self-pitying pig who should've had

> me removed from her care by CPS. She's turned my whole family against me --

> so me and my son are ostracized, she REALLY gets off on that.

>

> The rage / fear / pain that comes up over some simpering self-serving

> messages left by her months ago on Facebook is SHOCKING to me!!!

>

> Anyhow, it does feel better to write about it to people who can

> understand.... possibly the only ones who really truly DO understand.

>

> Thanks for reading.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

(((((slarsen)))))

I know how upsetting it is to be stalked and harassed. You've done pretty much

all you can do, seems to me, short of taking out a restraining order.

Unfortunately there's not a lot of protection available for those who are being

cyber-stalked. How horrible for you. I was cyber-stalked pretty much daily for

about 3 years by a former friend who (surprise! surprise!) turned out to have

narcissistic pd, and although I did everything possible to block her and the

attempted contact virtually vanished, she still tries from time to time and it

IS unnerving, I agree.

Facebook is kind of a two-edged sword from my point of view and its an ideal

stalking ground for the personality-disordered to utilize. Is it possible for

you to create an anonymous ID and rejoin it so that only your friends know its

you, but your foo doesn't? Then you can delete your real-name account and just

communicate with those you feel safe having as Facebook friends?

-Annie

>

> Well, it's been a long time since I've posted.

>

> I've been NC from my nada for about 4 years now. In the past she tried

emailing me but I was able to direct her emails straight to the trash. Then she

freaked me out one time by showing up at my front door. I was so terrified at

seeing her standing there I started shaking and felt like I was going to throw

up. I locked myself in the bathroom until she went away. Of course she had to

leave a note along with a " gift " -- some stupid book about some artist I never

heard of.

>

> I've since moved from the state and have felt safer as there's been no more

attempts at contact from her -- or so I thought.

>

> Anyhow, I had long ago gone through Facebook and blocked everyone who had her

(fairly common) name. Yesterday, I was checking my messages and accidentially

hit the " other " tab -- which is generally where all my spam goes to.

>

> And there it was. Two messages from her, dated this summer. I didn't read

them, but the physical sense of shock charging through my body at just SEEING

THEM THERE was palpable.

>

> I feel so many different emotions. Fear, mostly. Anger, that she's found

another way of attempting contact even though she KNOWS I don't want to hear

from her ever again. Rage and Shame that she's probably been stalking me on

Facebook for months -- years, possibly -- without my knowing. How typical.

They just LOVE invading your privacy, don't they?

>

> My nada is an evil witch. A disgusting, self-pitying pig who should've had me

removed from her care by CPS. She's turned my whole family against me -- so me

and my son are ostracized, she REALLY gets off on that.

>

> The rage / fear / pain that comes up over some simpering self-serving messages

left by her months ago on Facebook is SHOCKING to me!!!

>

> Anyhow, it does feel better to write about it to people who can understand....

possibly the only ones who really truly DO understand.

>

> Thanks for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for everyone for taking the time to reply! It feels good to know my KOs

are still around when things like this pop up.

Yesterday was hard as even just posting the message here brought up many

feelings and I even had a panic attack later in the day, which isn't normal for

me.

I especially appreciate your suggestions regarding Facebook. I'm not sure what

to do about that.

As I'm sure many of you have experienced, part of the abuse my nada inflicted on

me growing up was isolating me socially and turning my family and social

contacts against me or forcing me to " disappear " ..... it's just frankly too

triggering to allow her to force me to hide on Facebook. I enjoy keeping in

touch with my friends and like having a profile in my own name because I'm a

writer and sometimes strangers like to contact me about my work.

SHE is the sick one and I'd rather find some way to handle this other than using

a pseudonym. I was thinking of publicly posting something humorous about being

stalked by my Borderline Mother and keeping that available for " public view " so

that everytime her or one of her flying monkeys go to stalk my page, they see

that..... I think that would really get to her, because before I went NC I told

her I thought she had BPD and she absolutely BLEW UP (shocker) at the mere

suggestion.

It's always so complicated with BPs, ugggggggggggghhhhh. What's the line

between defending yourself and your boundaries and your reality.... and

engaging in a pointless power struggle with a mentally ill person? I've really

moved mountains to keep her away from myself and my son in real life.... in that

way, I know I've " won. " She'll never be in the same room with me ever again. I

won't even be at her funeral.

I guess I should re-visit therapy, though. Or at least re-read some of the

books to help process through this weirdness. It's good to re-connect with this

group, too.

Thanks for being there guys!

>

> Well, it's been a long time since I've posted.

>

> I've been NC from my nada for about 4 years now. In the past she tried

emailing me but I was able to direct her emails straight to the trash. Then she

freaked me out one time by showing up at my front door. I was so terrified at

seeing her standing there I started shaking and felt like I was going to throw

up. I locked myself in the bathroom until she went away. Of course she had to

leave a note along with a " gift " -- some stupid book about some artist I never

heard of.

>

> I've since moved from the state and have felt safer as there's been no more

attempts at contact from her -- or so I thought.

>

> Anyhow, I had long ago gone through Facebook and blocked everyone who had her

(fairly common) name. Yesterday, I was checking my messages and accidentially

hit the " other " tab -- which is generally where all my spam goes to.

>

> And there it was. Two messages from her, dated this summer. I didn't read

them, but the physical sense of shock charging through my body at just SEEING

THEM THERE was palpable.

>

> I feel so many different emotions. Fear, mostly. Anger, that she's found

another way of attempting contact even though she KNOWS I don't want to hear

from her ever again. Rage and Shame that she's probably been stalking me on

Facebook for months -- years, possibly -- without my knowing. How typical.

They just LOVE invading your privacy, don't they?

>

> My nada is an evil witch. A disgusting, self-pitying pig who should've had me

removed from her care by CPS. She's turned my whole family against me -- so me

and my son are ostracized, she REALLY gets off on that.

>

> The rage / fear / pain that comes up over some simpering self-serving messages

left by her months ago on Facebook is SHOCKING to me!!!

>

> Anyhow, it does feel better to write about it to people who can understand....

possibly the only ones who really truly DO understand.

>

> Thanks for reading.

>