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Good luck with your procedure. I'm sending you good vibes!

> **

>

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess

> the damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole

> life (at least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked

> about it here before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles

> function, and this is one pro of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to

> be moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my

> whole life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without

> a nada) is small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

> abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

> working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved

> but there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that

> nothing was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the

> reality of the condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to

> describe to people. but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and

> that people will be mean about it. there is good evidence there is damage,

> this is just to see how bad it is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

> Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all

> understand. I have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being

> depressed because of all the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want

> to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

>

>

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Hi Meikjn,

Many many of us I'm sure, will be holding you in light and love as you

take this major step in caring for yourself! You are, in a very real, and

vitally important way being your own " good mother, " and giving yourself the

love, compassion and care you *always *deserved.

This takes tremendous strength and courage !

I hope you are proud of your deep inner capacity for grace, and for

taking the steps to heal, physically, and emotionally too!

I am so glad you shared this part of your journey with us, I am so proud

for you!

I will be thinking of you, Sunspot

> **

>

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess

> the damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole

> life (at least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked

> about it here before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles

> function, and this is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to

> be moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my

> whole life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without

> a nada) is small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

> abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

> working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved

> but there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that

> nothing was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the

> reality of the condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to

> describe to people. but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and

> that people will be mean about it. there is good evidence there is damage,

> this is just to see how bad it is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

> Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all

> understand. I have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being

> depressed because of all the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want

> to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

>

>

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Meikjn,

I will gladly think good thoughts for you. I hope the procedure

goes well and that the results lead to an improvement. I can

imagine how hard it must be to deal with this when it is so

intertwined with your nada's abusive treatment of you.

At 04:12 PM 10/22/2012 Meikjn wrote:

>I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically

>to assess the damage done to my bladder from not being able to

>void urine my whole life (at least until I could take myself to

>the doctor). I have talked about it here before, i have a

>muscle condition that effects how my muscles function, and this

>is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

>I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I

>am happy to be moving forward with all of this because I have

>needed this treatment my whole life. the part of this that

>would worry a normal person (one without a nada) is small

>compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me.

> Nada used to abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give

> me PTSD reactions. I am working hard to fix that and the

> condition, and things have really improved but there is tons

> of psychological lag in my healing.

>

>this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me

>convinced that nothing was wrong with me. which I always

>questioned, and dealt with the reality of the condition

>anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to describe to

>people. but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and

>that people will be mean about it. there is good evidence there

>is damage, this is just to see how bad it is.

>

>I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes

>for me Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that

>you all understand. I have no idea how it will be, but I just

>got done being depressed because of all the treatment I have

>been doing, and I don't want to go back to that.

>

>thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

>Meikjn

--

Katrina

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You got it: sending my best wishes your way for quick healing and full recovery!

-Annie

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess the

damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole life (at

least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked about it here

before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles function, and this

is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to be

moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my whole

life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without a nada) is

small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved but

there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that nothing

was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the reality of the

condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to describe to people.

but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and that people will be mean

about it. there is good evidence there is damage, this is just to see how bad it

is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all understand. I

have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being depressed because of all

the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

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Prayers for you to have a successful stress free procedure with useful results.

Good on you for taking care of yourself!

Eliza

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess the

damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole life (at

least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked about it here

before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles function, and this

is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to be

moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my whole

life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without a nada) is

small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved but

there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that nothing

was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the reality of the

condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to describe to people.

but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and that people will be mean

about it. there is good evidence there is damage, this is just to see how bad it

is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all understand. I

have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being depressed because of all

the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

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Definitely will praying for you! Good for you that you're taking care of

yourself.

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess the

damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole life (at

least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked about it here

before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles function, and this

is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to be

moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my whole

life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without a nada) is

small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved but

there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that nothing

was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the reality of the

condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to describe to people.

but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and that people will be mean

about it. there is good evidence there is damage, this is just to see how bad it

is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all understand. I

have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being depressed because of all

the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

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Oh dear yes, you have my thoughts, prayers, good wishes, whatever else might

make this go a bit easier for you. I've just started having kidney problems

since July and I never realized how much I take it for granted (going potty

normally). I can't imagine how difficult it's been for you all these years.

I just had a scope put up into my bladder and that was interesting. I didn't

know he was going to do the procedure so I was not very nice when he mentioned

it. Then I just cried as he did it. But it didn't hurt at all. And seeing inside

my own bladder was pretty interesting.

I do hope your procedure goes quickly and they can give you some hopeful news.

Anxious to hear back from you.

>

> I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess the

damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole life (at

least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked about it here

before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles function, and this

is one of the nasty symptoms.

>

> I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy to be

moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment my whole

life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one without a nada) is

small compared to the emotional crap attached.

>

> it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved but

there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

>

> this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that nothing

was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the reality of the

condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to describe to people.

but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and that people will be mean

about it. there is good evidence there is damage, this is just to see how bad it

is.

>

> I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all understand. I

have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being depressed because of all

the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want to go back to that.

>

> thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

>

> Meikjn

>

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Thinking of you today - and hoping all goes well!

Sunspot

On Tue, Oct 23, 2012 at 4:17 AM, sevenlobsters eliza92@...>wrote:

> **

>

>

> Prayers for you to have a successful stress free procedure with useful

> results. Good on you for taking care of yourself!

>

> Eliza

>

>

>

> >

> > I am going in for a small procedure Wednesday. it is basically to assess

> the damage done to my bladder from not being able to void urine my whole

> life (at least until I could take myself to the doctor). I have talked

> about it here before, i have a muscle condition that effects how my muscles

> function, and this is one of the nasty symptoms.

> >

> > I am not worried about the procedure, the doctor is amazing. I am happy

> to be moving forward with all of this because I have needed this treatment

> my whole life. the part of this that would worry a normal person (one

> without a nada) is small compared to the emotional crap attached.

> >

> > it is hard because this condition is very emotional for me. Nada used to

> abuse me every day for the symptoms, so they give me PTSD reactions. I am

> working hard to fix that and the condition, and things have really improved

> but there is tons of psychological lag in my healing.

> >

> > this is hard for me because Nada for a long time had me convinced that

> nothing was wrong with me. which I always questioned, and dealt with the

> reality of the condition anyway. this is a part of it that is so hard to

> describe to people. but i get so scared that nothing really is wrong and

> that people will be mean about it. there is good evidence there is damage,

> this is just to see how bad it is.

> >

> > I just want to ask for a favor. please pray or send good vibes for me

> Wednesday morning. this is stressful for me in ways that you all

> understand. I have no idea how it will be, but I just got done being

> depressed because of all the treatment I have been doing, and I don't want

> to go back to that.

> >

> > thanks for all you do, you are lovely people.

> >

> > Meikjn

> >

>

>

>

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