Re: results

[Guest guest]

Meijkin,

I'm so glad you finally received the validation you have deserved, and

needed.

Your Nadas behavior was, and is unconscionable! And, how typical of a

Nada, to blame everyone but herself, for her own foul behavior and

atrocious choices.

No pun intended, (o.k., maybe a little one...) but you have every right to

be really, really, " pissed off " at her!!!

I loved what you said, about 'getting to go back...' not 'I *have* too,'

but 'I *get* to'

I think that one statement alone points out, so poignantly, how important

this step is for you. Not only physically and medically, which goes without

saying, but for You! You are standing up for You, *you* have successfully

taken control!

You deserved to be heard, and comforted, helped and loved, I'm so glad you

are mothering yourself in such a primally important way.

(((((Hugs and hugs and hugs to you)))))

Sunspot

> **

>

>

> so, I went today, and I get to go back next week for a biopsy, and a ct

> scan, just to be safe. as the doctor put it it looks like I have chicken

> pox in my bladder. they are cysts, probably damage from years of UTI's. I

> go in for all of that next Friday.

>

> I am feeling oddly vindicated. HA! take that NADA I really am sick! the

> doctor said it is the worst he has seen. unusually bad. which does not

> surprise me at all. I am going to very good doctors, and anything that can

> be done will.

>

> it is starting to really sink in for me how much she has let her own

> comfort and self-interest cloud reality. I really tried for a long time to

> believe her that there was nothing wrong with me but my own disobedience

> and defiance. but all these years I was really sick. she is now trying to

> pretend she had no idea anything was wrong, and that any misbehavior on her

> part was " innocently done " yes she said that. she also made sure it was

> clear that it also was my, and a few other people fault. she said all of

> that without any prompting from me, which blows her cover.

>

> this subject is closed to her forever.

>

> Meikjn

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You deserve wellness, healing, vindication, and to know that never ever again

can your nada compromise your health!!!

>

> so, I went today, and I get to go back next week for a biopsy, and a ct scan,

just to be safe. as the doctor put it it looks like I have chicken pox in my

bladder. they are cysts, probably damage from years of UTI's. I go in for all of

that next Friday.

>

> I am feeling oddly vindicated. HA! take that NADA I really am sick! the doctor

said it is the worst he has seen. unusually bad. which does not surprise me at

all. I am going to very good doctors, and anything that can be done will.

>

> it is starting to really sink in for me how much she has let her own comfort

and self-interest cloud reality. I really tried for a long time to believe her

that there was nothing wrong with me but my own disobedience and defiance. but

all these years I was really sick. she is now trying to pretend she had no idea

anything was wrong, and that any misbehavior on her part was " innocently done "

yes she said that. she also made sure it was clear that it also was my, and a

few other people fault. she said all of that without any prompting from me,

which blows her cover.

>

> this subject is closed to her forever.

>

> Meikjn

>

[Guest guest]

Meijkin,

I'm so glad you received a diagnosis at long last. Your perseverance and

resilience is incredible.

Jaleo

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

Wow! I've heard of a lot of unusual things but this is incredible. Will they be

able to treat all those cysts? Will it ease your bathroom issues? It's kind of

exciting that there's light at the end of the tunnel thanks to the light at the

end of the scope. LOL

Nada just won't look beyond her own nose to recognize your pain. We know nadas

are like that but it's such a bizarre and foreign way to see life. With my nada,

if I happen to have a health problem, she goes on and on about her health. If I

get a cold, she thinks she's getting pneumonia. If my knee hurts, her whole body

is " in excruciating pain. " No matter what, it feels like a contest and only her

well being matters.

For now, you can center on your own health, feeling better. Then go out and

celebrate somehow. We'll be with you in spirit.

>

> so, I went today, and I get to go back next week for a biopsy, and a ct scan,

just to be safe. as the doctor put it it looks like I have chicken pox in my

bladder. they are cysts, probably damage from years of UTI's. I go in for all of

that next Friday.

>

> I am feeling oddly vindicated. HA! take that NADA I really am sick! the doctor

said it is the worst he has seen. unusually bad. which does not surprise me at

all. I am going to very good doctors, and anything that can be done will.

>

> it is starting to really sink in for me how much she has let her own comfort

and self-interest cloud reality. I really tried for a long time to believe her

that there was nothing wrong with me but my own disobedience and defiance. but

all these years I was really sick. she is now trying to pretend she had no idea

anything was wrong, and that any misbehavior on her part was " innocently done "

yes she said that. she also made sure it was clear that it also was my, and a

few other people fault. she said all of that without any prompting from me,

which blows her cover.

>

> this subject is closed to her forever.

>

> Meikjn

>

[Guest guest]

Meikjn,

I hope your healing happens quickly now that the doctors know the problem and

its scope.

Be prepared for your NADA to spin your illness as something she has endured.

Anything that takes attention from them is usually dismissed until they see how

to make it about them.

Take good care, and I truly wish you health!

MyReality

> >

> > so, I went today, and I get to go back next week for a biopsy, and a ct

scan, just to be safe. as the doctor put it it looks like I have chicken pox in

my bladder. they are cysts, probably damage from years of UTI's. I go in for all

of that next Friday.

> >

> > I am feeling oddly vindicated. HA! take that NADA I really am sick! the

doctor said it is the worst he has seen. unusually bad. which does not surprise

me at all. I am going to very good doctors, and anything that can be done will.

> >

> > it is starting to really sink in for me how much she has let her own comfort

and self-interest cloud reality. I really tried for a long time to believe her

that there was nothing wrong with me but my own disobedience and defiance. but

all these years I was really sick. she is now trying to pretend she had no idea

anything was wrong, and that any misbehavior on her part was " innocently done "

yes she said that. she also made sure it was clear that it also was my, and a

few other people fault. she said all of that without any prompting from me,

which blows her cover.

> >

> > this subject is closed to her forever.

> >

> > Meikjn

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Myreality, excellent point. When I got diagnosed with a serious illness my nada

immediately started worrying about whether she had it and quizzing me about HER

symptoms. It was all I could do not to scream at her but as usual I didn't

confront her because my emotions were so intense that I feared I'd be the one

acting crazy if I confronted her. Somehow there is a loss of face or power in

admitting to them how much they can hurt us when there is no chance for real

apology or reparation.

So yes Meikjn, be very careful what you share with your nada and arrange as much

support for yourself around your dealings with her as you can.

Eliza

>

> Meikjn,

>

> I hope your healing happens quickly now that the doctors know the problem and

its scope.

>

> Be prepared for your NADA to spin your illness as something she has endured.

Anything that takes attention from them is usually dismissed until they see how

to make it about them.

>

> Take good care, and I truly wish you health!

>

> MyReality

>

[Guest guest]

thank you all for your loving support. I am not currently sharing anything with

Nada about my medical treatment. I have tried to talk about things with her in

the past thinking that someone with diabetes would understand the trials of

chronic conditions. but it always turns into how she has diabetes because she

had so many kids, and she would do it all again because she is just giving like

that, and God trusted her with so many children (who can barley be around her)

etc... this is especially funny because she as 3 diabetic brothers, I am pretty

sure that was not from having kids.

whatever I share with her right now no matter how insignificant, is being used

as a guilt trip. we will be moving at the end of the year, or beginning of next

year. Dh is working on a dissertation, and he has not set a date for his

defense, and until that happens we have no timeline for the move. I have told

her that over, and over, and she tells everyone that she has " not heard

anything " which I am pretty sure is because I am not talking to her on the phone

right now. I keep telling her that when there is something to know she will know

it, this has failed to satisfy her for the last year. or she will say things I

tell her in e-mails came from other sources, and makes a big show of it in the

letters she sends to the family weekly. it is really annoying.

as far I am concerned, she lost her chance to be part of my medical life, and as

such she is going to be excluded right now from almost everything because that

is a major focus for me right now. she had thousands of chances, and squandered

them all, and continues to say nasty things over e-mail, so yeah, I look for

support in other places, I tried to include her already, she made it hard for

me, and being so selfish at a time like this was the last straw.

it took her about 15 years of me having daily symptoms for her to take me to a

doctor for it, and when he did not diagnose me after a few appointments she

stopped, and that was the first and last attempt she made. I have since learned

that at least 3 sisters tried to intervene when they were adults and I was still

at home. one even found a doctor for me. Nada sent me an e-mail informing me

that she had no idea I had a real problem, and went on and on about how I was

secretive about my symptoms, and many other ways it was my fault that she

mistreated me and never really tried to help. if it had been anything but me

peeing my pants every day I might have some sympathy for her. seriously.

the reaching out that people in my life have done has been an unexpected reward

of limiting contact with Nada. 6 sisters (and S-I-L's) have called me to let me

know they understand over the last few months. without any approach from me. not

to mention many very kind members of Dh's family, and my M-I-L.

I have learned that a few of the sisters have done this at some point too, and

still have very little contact. only one sister still has a real relationship

with nada, and is currently spiraling in to a deep depression, I hope she wakes

up soon too, because she deserves better than to carry the load for all of us.

(I was raised being bragged to by Nada about how she has such a " wonderful

relationship with all her girls " ) so I have a huge wealth of support. in fact I

feel more belonging in my family now than ever before. and I have a DH who has

listened to me complain for months and agreed with me whenever I need it. and

all of you who get so many things others can't too.

but I still wish I had a mother.

Meikjn

> >

> > Meikjn,

> >

> > I hope your healing happens quickly now that the doctors know the problem

and its scope.

> >

> > Be prepared for your NADA to spin your illness as something she has endured.

Anything that takes attention from them is usually dismissed until they see how

to make it about them.

> >

> > Take good care, and I truly wish you health!

> >

> > MyReality

> >

>