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so, I went today, and I get to go back next week for a biopsy, and a ct scan,

just to be safe. as the doctor put it it looks like I have chicken pox in my

bladder. they are cysts, probably damage from years of UTI's. I go in for all of

that next Friday.

I am feeling oddly vindicated. HA! take that NADA I really am sick! the doctor

said it is the worst he has seen. unusually bad. which does not surprise me at

all. I am going to very good doctors, and anything that can be done will.

it is starting to really sink in for me how much she has let her own comfort and

self-interest cloud reality. I really tried for a long time to believe her that

there was nothing wrong with me but my own disobedience and defiance. but all

these years I was really sick. she is now trying to pretend she had no idea

anything was wrong, and that any misbehavior on her part was " innocently done "

yes she said that. she also made sure it was clear that it also was my, and a

few other people fault. she said all of that without any prompting from me,

which blows her cover.

this subject is closed to her forever.

Meikjn

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