Guest guest Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 I have been at my dad's house in another state, for two weeks now. My dad had a recurrence of his cancer and this time he is terminal. I came home to help care for him and help him get his affairs in order. His wife is bi-polar, so she isn't much help. Spends much of her time crying and shaking (side effect of a drug she was on). I had to talk to her right in front of dad about how her " spells " are stressfull for dad and how she needs to go in another room if she is losing it and not expect him to support HER during his time of need. As if all that isn't enough, there is nada. She has already started in on me, just four days after I got here. Why don't I cook at dad's house (uh, I have VERY good reasons not to and they are NONE of her business) Why doesn't dad's wife cook enough for us to eat with them? (nada knows dads wife is a bi-polar, plus the other reasons come into play) Nada is convinced that we are taking advantage of her generous nature. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. If we eat dinner with her, we are taking advantage and if we don't, we must be mad at her and avoiding her. I do not have the energy or inclination to walk on egg shells for her delicate little nada feelings. My poor son, who could have his own room and TV at nadas won't even stay there. He wants to be with me even tho he has no room of his own at his grandpas house. Part of that is separation anxiety. We lost his dad to cancer less than a year ago and he doesn't like to be very far from me. The icing on my cake is the trouble that my very likely BPD neighbor back home is causing. All of my other neighbors know what is going on and where I am and why, but someone placed an anonymous call to animal welfare saying I had abandoned my dog that I had to leave at home. I have a house sitter staying at my place, and my brother and another good friend check on my dog during the day, while my house sitter is at work. I had to call and explain all this to a dumb friends league investigator. She was very nice and made a note that if ANYONE tries to call again, that they will be required to leave a name and number to make a report. In the mean time, I am giving another set of keys to one of my neighbors so she can go say hi to him and give him a little attention too. Is is bad to say I hope this idiot calls again? I have a permanent restraining order against him, so it would constitute harassment if he does. sorry to vent so much stuff in one place, but this is my life right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Nadas do insist on using every possible situation to cause drama, don't they? I'm sorry that you have to deal with your nada at the same time you're dealing with your dad's terminal illness. I'm with you in hoping that your BPD neighbor calls again and leaves his name so that he gets in trouble for his false accusations. Something tells me that he's likely to hang up before leaving his name though. At 12:40 PM 11/04/2012 CmeBfree wrote: >I have been at my dad's house in another state, for two weeks >now. My dad had a recurrence of his cancer and this time he is >terminal. I came home to help care for him and help him get his >affairs in order. His wife is bi-polar, so she isn't much help. >Spends much of her time crying and shaking (side effect of a >drug she was on). I had to talk to her right in front of dad >about how her " spells " are stressfull for dad and how she needs >to go in another room if she is losing it and not expect him to >support HER during his time of need. >As if all that isn't enough, there is nada. She has already >started in on me, just four days after I got here. Why don't I >cook at dad's house (uh, I have VERY good reasons not to and >they are NONE of her business) Why doesn't dad's wife cook >enough for us to eat with them? (nada knows dads wife is a >bi-polar, plus the other reasons come into play) Nada is >convinced that we are taking advantage of her generous nature. >Damned if you do and damned if you don't. If we eat dinner with >her, we are taking advantage and if we don't, we must be mad at >her and avoiding her. I do not have the energy or inclination >to walk on egg shells for her delicate little nada feelings. My >poor son, who could have his own room and TV at nadas won't >even stay there. He wants to be with me even tho he has no room >of his own at his grandpas house. Part of that is separation >anxiety. We lost his dad to cancer less than a year ago and he >doesn't like to be very far from me. > >The icing on my cake is the trouble that my very likely BPD >neighbor back home is causing. All of my other neighbors know >what is going on and where I am and why, but someone placed an >anonymous call to animal welfare saying I had abandoned my dog >that I had to leave at home. I have a house sitter staying at >my place, and my brother and another good friend check on my >dog during the day, while my house sitter is at work. I had to >call and explain all this to a dumb friends league >investigator. She was very nice and made a note that if ANYONE >tries to call again, that they will be required to leave a name >and number to make a report. In the mean time, I am giving >another set of keys to one of my neighbors so she can go say hi >to him and give him a little attention too. Is is bad to say I >hope this idiot calls again? I have a permanent restraining >order against him, so it would constitute harassment if he >does. > >sorry to vent so much stuff in one place, but this is my life >right now > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 I agree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Good Heavens, you have every right to vent! One of the most disturbing aspects of BPDs, is their willingness too take advantage of traumatic events, in order to further their own spiteful, self centered agendas. I am so sorry you, and your son are going thru all of this. Your father is a very lucky man, to have you there in his corner, at such a vulnerable time, and the lessons in strength and moral fortitude you are teaching your son are truly invaluable. The *JERK* who unjustly turned you in to animal control is such a contemptible, predatory, slimeball. I hope he eats a bad oyster! (or maybe a bad oyster will eat him You are one fierce lady, to be taking all of this head-on, with such strength and grace. Please know, so many of us are thinking of you, and your son, and family during this difficult time, and holding you all in light, and in love. Peace be with you. Sunspot > ** > > > I agree > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 THank you Sunspot. I am doing my best for sure. C > > > ** > > > > > > I agree > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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