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Crissie:

I know it's been 11 years since you posted this, but I'm new to the list and I

decided I would like to begin at the beginning. Hence, my 11-years-later reply

to this.

>When I put my foot down about where I wanted to go and what choices >I was

going to make, she actually went down to my high school and >unenrolled me.

>

>I don't know why that is so hard for me to get over. It was almost >10 years

ago, but it bothers me to this day. I really feel like she >stole that

experience from me.

I am appalled and shocked all over again FOR you. Maybe you have managed to let

it go in the past 11 years since you posted (and I hope you have), but I

wouldn't blame you one bit if you hadn't. You're right; she stole this

experience from you. Betrayed you. She VIOLATED you. I hope I haven't

re-dredged anything up, but I think your feelings are totally justified.

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: mteel62568@...

>

> Lissa,

> >>>BPDs consider it " abandonment when you become a separate person "

> became really clear to me as a teenager when my mother's control over

> me began to slip and the peer group took over. she was furious and

> still hasn't forgiven me - describes me as " rebellious " to others

> still.

>

>

>

> That is brilliant!!!! I have been wondering for so long what exactly it was

> that I did as a teenager that was so bad!!! I was an honor student, a

> cheerleader, the lead in the high school musicals, president of my class,

> but I was a terrible daughter that no one could possibly be proud of... I

> remember vividly my entire senior year was some sort of go away, but don't

> go away... " You should go to Brown. Have you ever thought of applying

> somewhere in Alaska? I always thought you wanted to go to and .

> You shouldn't even bother... no one good will take you with those grades

> (3.8 gpa). You might as well go to community college. " What about what I

> wanted? I wanted to go to San Diego State. I wanted to be a marine

> biologist. That was and is still my true love (even in Idaho - life takes

> you funny places and you make funny decisions). When I put my foot down

> about where I wanted to go and what choices I was going to make, she

> actually went down to my high school and unenrolled me. She came home one

> day (about a month before graduation) and made a big announcement to my

> father and I that I didn't deserve to go to high school. Shocked, my father

> took me back to school the next day where we were told that once students

> over the age of 18 were unenrolled, they weren't allowed to re-enroll. It

> was some sort of antiquated rule that the district had to prevent seniors

> from taking off half a year of school and still being able to graduate. We

> appealed to the school board to no avail. I have a GED. I'm sure you all

> hear the undertones of bitterness here!!! I don't know why that is so hard

> for me to get over. It was almost 10 years ago, but it bothers me to this

> day. I really feel like she stole that experience from me.

>

> No crying over spilled milk, but THANK YOU Lissa for bringing that to light.

> I am not a black sheep!!! Until I read your e-mail, I wasn't able to figure

> out the reasons behind her actions. Now I know why... Now I also know that

> I did everything I could to make her proud of me, she just isn't capable.

>

> Thanks for the insight!

>

> XOXO,

> Crissie

>

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Oh my gosh, this is a heart-rending story!

I cannot believe a parent could un-enroll a child who was excelling in school

and the school did not honor the CHILD and father's wish for them to be

re-enrolled.

This seems to me to be a travesty all the way around.

I am mad at the world when it supports crazy behavior that makes no sense.

What child would drop out of school a month before graduation, with no good

reason?

You know, my nada threatened to take me out of school and I thought it was a

threat full of hooey... and that was back in the mid 1970's. Reading ModOasis's

post of this happening to her, twenty years ago, is a bit like a bullet going

whizzing by my left ear and grazing me, and me thinking it was a pesky wasp that

stung me.

Wow, my nada could have done this to me! Only my grades were not as high as

Mod's... and I was not about to get a scholarship to go to any university. My

nada had told me I had to earn a scholarship to go to college.

I did not repeat the high score of my PSAT, unlike all the others who were merit

semi-finalists.... so I did not get a scholarship.

Nada blames me for that to this day. Though thankfully she shut up about the

money I ended up " wasting " on my college education because I took out loans.

Fortunately, my schools were public institutions. One of them was UC Berkeley,

so nothing to feel TOO ashamed about, ffi-ing nada!!!

, who obviously is mad reading this story

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