Thanks for having me as a member, men & ladies!

[Guest guest]

I joined the group a few weeks ago, and have been reading the messages with

great curiosity. Many times in my life, I’ve felt that I was alone in the

family situation I was dealt, but after reading the msgs in this group, I see

that we’ve had many common experiences. I want to thank each of you who

shares in emails to the group----so far, I’ve either really identified with

your suffering, or been really interested in how you deal with the BPD behavior

at hand.

I read “Walking on Eggshells†and “The Family Guide to BPD†about a year

ago, but it took me awhile to join the online community. One thing that makes

me grin about my BPD mother is that she has regularly said, “I’m sick of

walking on eggshells with my children.†My response was to tell her that her

definition of “walking on eggshells†seemed to be what the rest of the world

calls “having courtesy and consideration for other people’s feelings, and

acting accordingly.†Obviously, that threw her into a rage. Whatever.

Our family dynamic is interesting. I’ve been the “bad kid†since I was

about ten years old (I’m in my 40s now) and my younger sister was the sweet,

good child. Then, in her late 30s, my sister started making personal choices

which infuriated the maternal unit. Within an amazingly short time, the

“Character Assassination/Distortion Campaigns†began against my sister. I

was accustomed to these (after 30 years of them), but my sister wasn’t.

She’s had a tough time realizing that her mother has very serious

emotional/personality impairments. Her child (a sweet, vivacious, and

intelligent 5-year-old) is suffering really bad treatment at the hands of what

should be her grandmother. (Should I call her a grand-nada? *grin*)

Anyway, I’ll be sharing more in the coming days, and I thank each and every

one of your for your input to this group. Dealing with BPD is an often

exhausting and frustrating lot in life. I’m glad to have some new friends to

share the challenges. Hopefully, we can also offer each other some great hope

in dealing with this awful mental illness!

Take care,

[Guest guest]

Hi and welcome. I am also a KO in my 40s, and the 'split bad' child--and

boy, bad it was. I hope that you will find many insights here. It's amazing

how extremely similar the stories can sometimes be, with nadas even using the

exact same WORDS, at times.

Case in point, your nada saying she was tired of 'walking on eggshells'. My

nada has also said that. This is pure projection. YOU and the rest of the

family are the ones walking on eggshells; she is the one causing in. In terror

of facing any 'badness' in herself, she projects that onto those vulnerable to

her. My nada's theme projections onto me included saying, often, that I was

'viscious', 'mean and selfish'--when really it was she who was these things,

being a witch and Queen with me. (archetypes from the book 'Understanding the

Borderline Mother'). My lucky sister got to be the one upon whom she projected

her imagined perfections--which included beauty queen, desirable to the opposite

sex, kind and gentle. It's all projection!!

Best,

Charlie

>

> I joined the group a few weeks ago, and have been reading the messages with

great curiosity. Many times in my life, I’ve felt that I was alone in the

family situation I was dealt, but after reading the msgs in this group, I see

that we’ve had many common experiences. I want to thank each of you who

shares in emails to the group----so far, I’ve either really identified with

your suffering, or been really interested in how you deal with the BPD behavior

at hand.

>

> I read “Walking on Eggshells†and “The Family Guide to BPD†about a

year ago, but it took me awhile to join the online community. One thing that

makes me grin about my BPD mother is that she has regularly said, “I’m sick

of walking on eggshells with my children.†My response was to tell her that

her definition of “walking on eggshells†seemed to be what the rest of the

world calls “having courtesy and consideration for other people’s feelings,

and acting accordingly.†Obviously, that threw her into a rage. Whatever.

>

> Our family dynamic is interesting. I’ve been the “bad kid†since I was

about ten years old (I’m in my 40s now) and my younger sister was the sweet,

good child. Then, in her late 30s, my sister started making personal choices

which infuriated the maternal unit. Within an amazingly short time, the

“Character Assassination/Distortion Campaigns†began against my sister. I

was accustomed to these (after 30 years of them), but my sister wasn’t.

She’s had a tough time realizing that her mother has very serious

emotional/personality impairments. Her child (a sweet, vivacious, and

intelligent 5-year-old) is suffering really bad treatment at the hands of what

should be her grandmother. (Should I call her a grand-nada? *grin*)

>

> Anyway, I’ll be sharing more in the coming days, and I thank each and every

one of your for your input to this group. Dealing with BPD is an often

exhausting and frustrating lot in life. I’m glad to have some new friends to

share the challenges. Hopefully, we can also offer each other some great hope

in dealing with this awful mental illness!

>

> Take care,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is great!

> Welcome !

>

> I chuckled when I read about your Nada complaining about being " ...sick

> of walking on eggshells around her children... " This has been my own Nadas

> mantra for some time. I loved your response!

>

> The " dung baby/golden child " dichotomy stinks any way you look at it,

> and it is grievous that grandchildren often get caught in the crossfire. In

> retrospect, I wish that I had managed my childs exposure to grand-nada, far

> more tightly.

>

> Since BPDs ( and in my opinion, all character disorders) do not experience

> the rest of us as real people, but more like unruly figments of their own

> imagination, they find no problem in using unethical, immoral, cruel, and

> unconscionable methods of manipulation and control, to brutalize us into

> submission. They range in intensity from monster-lite, to criminal cruelty.

>

> A friend of mine, who experienced WWII, in Germany, once said that one of

> the worst moments of her life, was being the first person to reach a bomb

> shelter, and her grief and horror in the ensuing moments, to think she may

> have been the only survivor. She was still palpably moved, as she related

> her relief, as others began to straggle in. I think, to some degree, K.O.s

> feel something similar, as we discover each other. It's good to know, that

> we aren't the only survivors.

>

> I have learned so much from this group, and am so grateful for all the

> posters, who so generously share their stories. I feel like I have grown a

> great deal, and healed in ways I never could have, without the members of

> this group.

>

> Again, Welcome!

> Warm Regards, Sunspot

>

>

>

> On Mon, Nov 5, 2012 at 11:52 AM, Shellshocked sonofbp63@...

>> wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> I joined the group a few weeks ago, and have been reading the messages

>> with great curiosity. Many times in my life, I’ve felt that I was alone in

>> the family situation I was dealt, but after reading the msgs in this group,

>> I see that we’ve had many common experiences. I want to thank each of you

>> who shares in emails to the group----so far, I’ve either really identified

>> with your suffering, or been really interested in how you deal with the BPD

>> behavior at hand.

>>

>> I read “Walking on Eggshells†and “The Family Guide to BPD†about a

year

>> ago, but it took me awhile to join the online community. One thing that

>> makes me grin about my BPD mother is that she has regularly said, “I’m

sick

>> of walking on eggshells with my children.†My response was to tell her that

>> her definition of “walking on eggshells†seemed to be what the rest of

the

>> world calls “having courtesy and consideration for other people’s

feelings,

>> and acting accordingly.†Obviously, that threw her into a rage. Whatever.

>>

>> Our family dynamic is interesting. I’ve been the “bad kid†since I was

>> about ten years old (I’m in my 40s now) and my younger sister was the

>> sweet, good child. Then, in her late 30s, my sister started making personal

>> choices which infuriated the maternal unit. Within an amazingly short time,

>> the “Character Assassination/Distortion Campaigns†began against my

sister.

>> I was accustomed to these (after 30 years of them), but my sister wasn’t.

>> She’s had a tough time realizing that her mother has very serious

>> emotional/personality impairments. Her child (a sweet, vivacious, and

>> intelligent 5-year-old) is suffering really bad treatment at the hands of

>> what should be her grandmother. (Should I call her a grand-nada? *grin*)

>>

>> Anyway, I’ll be sharing more in the coming days, and I thank each and

>> every one of your for your input to this group. Dealing with BPD is an

>> often exhausting and frustrating lot in life. I’m glad to have some new

>> friends to share the challenges. Hopefully, we can also offer each other

>> some great hope in dealing with this awful mental illness!

>>

>> Take care,

>>

>>

>>

>>