Letting the kids know about grandma's version of history

[Guest guest]

Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions about

dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where she was

the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it into me,

to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it occurred

that I was living in a real-life 1984!

I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely suggested to

the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to grandma's, and

that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is that the right

way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling them (12, 11

and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it go and let

them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time they repeat

one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

Thanks for your help!!

Gmenfan718

[Guest guest]

Welcome! I hope you find this group helpful!

This is just my opinion, but I would think that at ages 10+ the kids would be

old enough for an age-appropriate discussion on mental illness. Perhaps pick

one or two (mild) instances where your mother's story is different from yours,

and explain that sometimes grandma thinks differently because she is sick. Then

you can tell them your version of the event, and talk with them about how they

should deal with their grandmother.

I think that by having this type of conversation with them now will help them in

the future, when they perhaps have some of their grandmother's stories go

against them. They will know that it's because of her, not them, and that you

understand and will support them.

>

> Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions about

dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

>

> My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where she

was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it into

me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

>

> I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

>

> My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely suggested to

the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to grandma's, and

that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is that the right

way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling them (12, 11

and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it go and let

them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time they repeat

one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

>

> Thanks for your help!!

>

> Gmenfan718

>

[Guest guest]

Gmen, I really hope that some of the more veteran posters will weigh in on this,

but the advice I most commonly see is along the lines of what you're saying you

do. Most of the advice I see for people with children this age is that, when

they relay back to you stories Grandma told them, you don't directly tell them

that grandma is sick, but just that she has trouble remembering things the way

they really happened. Then you explain what really happened in whatever incident

she has described, and you say that it's very sad that Grandma doesn't remember

things that way, but she doesn't mean it (that is, she's not lying per se

because she truly believes the alternate reality)

In the moment of the story being told where you are witnessing the telling to

your children, for people who choose to keep contact with their BPD (and allow

their children contact with that person)the most common advice I see is to

change the subject immediately as soon as you see an inaccurate story being

told, but no matter what you shouldn't subject either yourself or your children

to the false reality as it is being told and allow that boundary to be crossed.

Another option I have seen proposed is to directly say to the BPD, in front of

the children, " your recollection of the story is different from mine, but rather

than argue about it let's just talk about something else " . That wouldn't work

with a histrionic BPD who seeks out drama, but it does work with the avoidant

BPD, which is what you have in your life- she very likely will not want conflict

or even the possibility of her reality being challenged, so she would very

likely accept your subject change, particularly if you gently reinforced it a

few times. Her fear of rejection will overwhelm her need to be the hero of a

story, in my opinion, and she will stop with the false story.

That said, I am very hopeful that another responder will pick up this chain and

offer more advice, I'm very curious as to how they propose handling.

>

> Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions about

dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

>

> My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where she

was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it into

me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

>

> I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

>

> My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely suggested to

the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to grandma's, and

that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is that the right

way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling them (12, 11

and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it go and let

them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time they repeat

one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

>

> Thanks for your help!!

>

> Gmenfan718

>

[Guest guest]

Your last point grad.spouse is a really important one to consider- how to

prepare the kids for the future stories when Grandma's version conflicts with

their own perception of what happened. Starting to have these discussions

prevents against them experiencing the same " 1984 " experience that Gmen had,

where they're questioning their own ability to perceive the truth. Preemptively

heading that off is a smart call.

> >

> > Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions about

dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

> >

> > My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where she

was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it into

me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

> >

> > I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

> >

> > My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely suggested

to the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to grandma's, and

that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is that the right

way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling them (12, 11

and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it go and let

them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time they repeat

one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

> >

> > Thanks for your help!!

> >

> > Gmenfan718

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Mdg - thanks for pointing that out - I agree that changing the discussion from

mental illness to mis-remembering may be a better option. (and a bit less

likely to cause drama if the kids say anything to their grandmother about it!)

> >

> > Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions about

dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

> >

> > My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where she

was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it into

me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

> >

> > I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

> >

> > My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely suggested

to the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to grandma's, and

that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is that the right

way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling them (12, 11

and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it go and let

them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time they repeat

one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

> >

> > Thanks for your help!!

> >

> > Gmenfan718

> >

>

[Guest guest]

MDG: do you suggest saying explicitly that grandma has trouble remembering as

opposed to just suggesting that my version is different from hers?

I went with the latter thinking that if I " throw down " that grandma is making it

up, I'm sort of forcing them to see it my way. This way, I'm allowing them to

come to their own conclusions about what happened by looking at who is more

likely to be telling it to them straight (and hopefully my record of honesty and

openness wins out!)

Your thoughts?

> > >

> > > Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions

about dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

> > >

> > > My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where

she was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it

into me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

> > >

> > > I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat grandma's

stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

> > >

> > > My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely

suggested to the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to

grandma's, and that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is

that the right way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling

them (12, 11 and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it

go and let them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time

they repeat one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

> > >

> > > Thanks for your help!!

> > >

> > > Gmenfan718

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Gmenfan718,

I, too, have kids (12, 9 & 5) and I am and advocate for the truth - with

respect. So, I would tell the kids that the story is not what I remember

but not to be disrespectful to Grandma - just to drop it and not repeat her

version. Once when I was in high school I was sick and coughed and

something suck in my throat and I couldn't breathe. I passed out before I

could breathe again. It was really scary. Just this past summer - and to

me, no joke, she told the story of how that happened to her. It freaked me

out, since I didn't know about BPD yet and was worried she might be getting

dementia. I have since gone no contact with her. I just can't deal with

knowing about BPD and knowing she will never be able to respect my

boundaries or value me as an individual. Before I knew about BPD I thought

she COULD be rational, but now that I know it isn't possible I just don't

have the ability to deal with her drama. Also, a lot more seasoned members

told me that Grandma will start to rage against the grandkids and do to them

what they did to us because at puberty kids start to rebel and our nadas

don't like that. I chose NC just because I'm tired and don't want to deal

with it anymore. Maybe it's chicken, but I have dealt with it for 37 years

and I'm done making her the center of the world.

[Guest guest]

Nadas don't necessarily wait for puberty before misbehaving

around their grandkids. As soon as the kids get old enough to be

individuals the problems may start. My nada decided that my

nephew didn't like her when he was 4 or 5. She was visiting my

brother and his family on the opposite side of the country and

my nephew said something at the dinner table that she thought

was disrespectful to his mother. She corrected him right then

and there. (That's her version of the story. I suspect that the

reality of what happened may be even worse.) The next time they

came to visit my nephew didn't want to sit down and have her

read him stories so she decided he must dislike her because of

the dinner table incident. (He was just acting like a 5 year-old

in a strange place with people he barely knew.) Since then she

has told me numerous times about how he doesn't like her any

more. I think that it is a really, really good thing that her

only grandchildren are thousands of miles away. I don't know

what my brother and sister-in-law have said to the kids about

her. I don't think my brother ever understood the reality of

what my sister and I have been dealing with before that

incident. I've noticed that he hasn't sent nada plain tickets to

come visit him again since that episode, so I hope that he has

realized that she really does have problems.

I agree that it is best to tell kids an age-appropriate version

of the truth. Little kids can be told that grandma sometimes has

problems with imagining things and not remembering how things

really happened. As they get older, they can and should be told

more about mental illness and BPD in particular. I don't have

kids but if I'd had them, I would never have left them alone

with nada. I went to some lengths to keep my much younger sister

from having to be alone with her too much. I don't trust her.

Besides telling untrue stories and sometimes being nasty, she

makes rash decisions and has bad judgement about what is

appropriate and safe.

At 11:32 AM 11/08/2012 Renslow wrote:

>I, too, have kids (12, 9 & 5) and I am and advocate for the

>truth - with

>respect. So, I would tell the kids that the story is not what

>I remember

>but not to be disrespectful to Grandma - just to drop it and

>not repeat her

>version. Once when I was in high school I was sick and coughed

>and

>something suck in my throat and I couldn't breathe. I passed

>out before I

>could breathe again. It was really scary. Just this past

>summer - and to

>me, no joke, she told the story of how that happened to

>her. It freaked me

>out, since I didn't know about BPD yet and was worried she

>might be getting

>dementia. I have since gone no contact with her. I just can't

>deal with

>knowing about BPD and knowing she will never be able to respect

>my

>boundaries or value me as an individual. Before I knew about

>BPD I thought

>she COULD be rational, but now that I know it isn't possible I

>just don't

>have the ability to deal with her drama. Also, a lot more

>seasoned members

>told me that Grandma will start to rage against the grandkids

>and do to them

>what they did to us because at puberty kids start to rebel and

>our nadas

>don't like that. I chose NC just because I'm tired and don't

>want to deal

>with it anymore. Maybe it's chicken, but I have dealt with it

>for 37 years

>and I'm done making her the center of the world.

>

>

>

>

>

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

I don't have children this age yet, but I'm guessing they will either not

capture the nuanced difference between " Grandnada is making it up " and

" Grandnada misremembers " , or if they do they will not really know how to process

what that means unless you are really explicit in saying " Grandnada says x, I

say Y, and always as you grow up and you hear 2 versions of a story you are

going to need to use your natural good judgment in trying to figure out what is

true and what isn't. " This is a great opportunity to go really indepth into

logic skills with your kids-pull apart all the pieces of Nada's story and

discuss with the kids the inconsistency. So then does it seem like Nada is

remembering correctly? The skills to reason this way will really help them over

time. I guess they may be too young to do this fully, but maybe you could start

the process. I agree with both Katrina and broadly on this issue- without

specifically saying " mental illness " I would say Grandnada has trouble

remembering what happened, here's what really happened, and it's really sad for

Grandnada that she suffers from misremembering. We shouldn't harp on it in front

of her, but between us we should understand that this is a very sad problem that

Nada has broadly, and because of this problem you should always take everything

Grandnada says with a grain of salt.

I think it is sad that Nada has you playing a game of " he said/ she said " with

your kids, and that she has you thinking about how to convince your kids that

you are on the side of right. That is really hard. I'm sorry you have to work

through issues like this, and I imagine that having to face this would cause you

to have to face fundamental worthiness questions.

This is a big part of the reason why I don't want my daughter around Nada-

without even meaning it at all Nada will infect her. There's no reasoning with

her or asking her not to do that to my daughter because she honestly doesn't

know she's doing it. That said, even though I make the choice to have no

contact, and especially don't want my daughter near her, everyone has to make

their own decision about how much contact they want to have and under what

conditions. I think there are some good suggestions coming out here and that it

is possible to manage this for you and your kids.

Good for you that you are working with them through this rather than them having

to try to sort through on their own!

Remember also the point that grad.spouse made, pretty soon (if she hasn't

already) Grandnada will start retelling stories where the kids were there in

ways inconsistent with what they remember- so you want to address this

" Grandnada misremembers " issue preemptively before the cognitive dissonance

between what she says and what they remember causes them to start questioning

their own assessment/memory skills.

> > > >

> > > > Ok, this is my first day here, but I'm looking for pointed suggestions

about dealing with an issue that is now coming up.

> > > >

> > > > My mother always constructed her own version of history (of course where

she was the hero and the whole story revolved around her, etc.) and drilled it

into me, to the point when I wondered if my memory was just so off... until it

occurred that I was living in a real-life 1984!

> > > >

> > > > I learned to ignore it, but now my kids are old enough to repeat

grandma's stories and I can't handle hearing them repeat this junk.

> > > >

> > > > My daughter tells over some story grandma made up, and I politely

suggested to the kids that my version of history doesn't always match up to

grandma's, and that they don't have to believe everything they hear her say. Is

that the right way to go about it? Is there something else I should be telling

them (12, 11 and 10 so not old enough for " the whole story), or should I let it

go and let them believe her version (making myself feel miserable every time

they repeat one) until they figure out the truth for themselves?

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for your help!!

> > > >

> > > > Gmenfan718

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ok, sounds like rewriting history is another symptom of BPD which never came up

before. Thanks to all for confirming that!

Sounds like the consensus is that it is correct to point out my version and hers

differ, but to remain respectful about it. We only have superficial contact

anyways (which also sounds typical, thanks again!) so it is totally manageable.

I'll also consider the suggestion to formally change the subject, though not

sure if I want to take chances at the lash out by explaining WHY I'm changing

it.

Thanks to all for your time!!

>

> >I, too, have kids (12, 9 & 5) and I am and advocate for the

> >truth - with

> >respect. So, I would tell the kids that the story is not what

> >I remember

> >but not to be disrespectful to Grandma - just to drop it and

> >not repeat her

> >version. Once when I was in high school I was sick and coughed

> >and

> >something suck in my throat and I couldn't breathe. I passed

> >out before I

> >could breathe again. It was really scary. Just this past

> >summer - and to

> >me, no joke, she told the story of how that happened to

> >her. It freaked me

> >out, since I didn't know about BPD yet and was worried she

> >might be getting

> >dementia. I have since gone no contact with her. I just can't

> >deal with

> >knowing about BPD and knowing she will never be able to respect

> >my

> >boundaries or value me as an individual. Before I knew about

> >BPD I thought

> >she COULD be rational, but now that I know it isn't possible I

> >just don't

> >have the ability to deal with her drama. Also, a lot more

> >seasoned members

> >told me that Grandma will start to rage against the grandkids

> >and do to them

> >what they did to us because at puberty kids start to rebel and

> >our nadas

> >don't like that. I chose NC just because I'm tired and don't

> >want to deal

> >with it anymore. Maybe it's chicken, but I have dealt with it

> >for 37 years

> >and I'm done making her the center of the world.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, rewriting history is definitely a common feature of BPD.

My nada tells herself lies until she believes them. Because she

thinks her version is true, she sounds very convincing when she

lies.

I always try to be respectful when dealing with nada. Doing

otherwise doesn't improve anything and having the high ground

morally is not a bad thing. I have boundaries about certain

topics of conversation with nada. I won't let her bad-mouth

other people to me, particularly when the bad-mouthing involves

her telling stories about events that never happened. If allowed

to do so, she'll bring up stories about things that happened

over 50 years ago, before I was born. The one about my father

refusing to teach her to drive after they married is a favorite.

(I have it on good authority that she drove her brothers around

when she was in high school, so obviously she didn't need to

learn how to drive after she got married.) When she crosses

those boundaries, I tell her " We're not going to talk about

that " and change the subject. I don't explain why or allow

discussion of whether or not we're going to continue talking

about it. Sometimes she won't stop and I have to hang up the

phone or leave.

At 01:51 PM 11/08/2012 gmenfan718 wrote:

>Ok, sounds like rewriting history is another symptom of BPD

>which never came up before. Thanks to all for confirming that!

>

>Sounds like the consensus is that it is correct to point out my

>version and hers differ, but to remain respectful about it. We

>only have superficial contact anyways (which also sounds

>typical, thanks again!) so it is totally manageable. I'll also

>consider the suggestion to formally change the subject, though

>not sure if I want to take chances at the lash out by

>explaining WHY I'm changing it.

>

>Thanks to all for your time!!

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Yup, nada DEFINITELY believes her version, no question.

The worst is that for years I always questioned my own memories, assuming I

couldn't remember things straight, and I'm still very sensitive about people

rewriting history, even about silly little things because of the pain of

remembering the self-doubt of a " 1984 " life. Now I just laugh nada off when she

tells over happy stories of my childhood, but I'm not letting her get that junk

into the kid's heads.

> >Ok, sounds like rewriting history is another symptom of BPD

> >which never came up before. Thanks to all for confirming that!

> >

> >Sounds like the consensus is that it is correct to point out my

> >version and hers differ, but to remain respectful about it. We

> >only have superficial contact anyways (which also sounds

> >typical, thanks again!) so it is totally manageable. I'll also

> >consider the suggestion to formally change the subject, though

> >not sure if I want to take chances at the lash out by

> >explaining WHY I'm changing it.

> >

> >Thanks to all for your time!!

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all, (warning, long post )

I slightly disagree with other things that have been posted. In my opinion these

kids (10-13 I thought) are old enough to talk to straight, no nuances. I am

willing to bet that they have witnessed and/or experienced nada behavior and

felt the *creepy* feeling of 'that's weird,' 'what's she doing,' or 'is

something wrong w me.' These kids are NOT too young to have a frank talk with.

Yes, age appropriate is necessary but be CLEAR with them. DO NOT leave them to

deal with these feelings by themselves and do not leave these kids to make the

realizations and conclusions by themselves. It is ok to be crystal clear w them.

(How did you feel having to sort through BPD on your own as a kid...wouldn't it

have been easier if someone called bpd behavior crap and was there to talk to

you about it?) Directly address situations, guide your kids through them, teach

them what to do, practice how to change the subject, de-escalate situation, how

to protect themselves, listen to their feelings, and believe in themselves.

These are life skills kids need!! (So sorry that we need/ed them at home during

our/their childhoods.) Talk about it, be clear, support them believing in their

feelings and in themselves.Make it easier for the next generation than it was

for us!!

Keep on keeping on!

The following is an example of what I would say to different age groups:

The age difference/maturity level of these 3 kids is so wide that I suggest

individual talks, not 'family' talks. I've had a 'talk' w my 7 yo niece

explaining weird behavior of nada. It went something like this: we were at a

restaurant, nada was dancing and playing in the isles w my 2 yo boy who ran and

jumped and climbed on things in the busy restaurant. My niece asked 'what's she

doing?' I answered, 'being weird, huh? that behavior is not appropriate for a

restaurant is it? are adults supposed to teach little kids to run around and

climb in other booths when we're out to dinner? what is a better way for her to

play w the lil one while we're at dinner? I should put a stop to it huh??'

Notice that this exchanged labeled the behavior as wrong, supported the

instincts and ethics of the 7 yo, and gave a chance for the 7 yo to come up with

better choice of behavior, and I modeled behavior to correct the weird

situation. Which I redirected/distracted them to come sit down and color

together. I didn't have to name BPD, or go into anything long explanation to my

niece. We just directly discussed the situation and behavior in an age

appropriate manner. Something like this would work for a 10yo. It might go

something like :

Hey, hon, I want to talk to you about something that happened last night while

we were w nada. It really made me feel creepy and icky inside. I didn't like it.

Last night, nada was telling a story that was a little strange. I mean what she

said it is not how I remember it happening at all. It made my insides tighten up

and I felt icky. I've found that she and I disagree about the past and how

things happened. She and I disagree about a lot some times huh?? *chuckle* I

wanted to talk to you about this because I don't want you to have to feel creepy

and icky inside if she remembers things differently than you remember things,

ok? You're smart, old enough, and know right from wrong, and know if things are

a little 'off'. If something like this happens, I want you to trust yourself and

trust your feelings. You don't have to try to correct the story. Just know

*inside yourself* that if it feels wrong, it probably IS wrong. Believe in

yourself, ok? Also, anytime you want to talk about something, or feel kinda

strange about something, it's ok to come ask me or .

Anyhow, the 13 yo talk would be a little more explicit and would go something

more like this: Hey, honey, wanna go on a walk w me? I wanna talk to you about

something. So last night, nada was doing some of her weird behavior and it made

me feel creepy inside. I don't know if you realized it or not, so I wanted to

talk to you about it now cuz it really bothered me. You know how nada has some

weird behavior like well there is another behavior she does

and it happened last night. She was telling a story and the way she said things

happened is NOT the way I remember things happening. But the thing is--she

totally believes it happened the way she told us. She absolutely believes it's

right. Even tho I know it was different. It's not that she's lieing, she just

thinks she right. It's like a difficult math problem, ya know, when you

toootally think you got it right, then the teacher shows you where you made a

mistake and bam, you were wrong. Well, she won't listen to anyone if they try to

correct her, so she still thinks she is right. And nothing will change that, no

matter even if we argue w her. She thinks she's right. I mean, she *knows* she's

right. Have you had a friend like that?? Anyhow, we've talked about some of

nada's strange behavior before, you have seen them for yourself

and you know how they made you feel. I wanted to bring

this new behavior up incase it ever happens to you-- where you remember things

differently from how she remembers them. I want you to believe in your gut

instincts and the feelings in your stomach, ok? If it feels weird, IT IS WEIRD.

Listen to yourself, ok? You don't have to disagree with her right then and

there, heck, disagreeing doesn't do any good anyway huh? kinda like arguing w a

friend when they just knowknowknow they did the math problem correctly, but you

KNOW they didn't--right, you get me? *chuckle* Anyway, last night made me feel

creepy inside, and I want you to know what to do if it ever happens to you. You

don't have to argue or correct her--it doesn't help, I want you to just

_realize_ that it is happening and that her behavior is one of those 'just a

little off' behaviors, ok? Really, I want you to listen to yourself and believe

in your alarm feelings. You can always come talk to me about situations that

make you feel weird and icky or creepy inside ok? Also, I am going to pull your

lil sis/bros aside and talk to them a little too. Well not in detail like I did

w you, but that sometimes nada remembers situations differently and to listen to

our stomachs when they get that creepy icky feeling inside. So, if they come to

you and want to talk, you know what they are talking about, right? And you know

to come get me so we can all three talk about nada together ok? I'm glad you're

there for your lil sis/bros, you're a good example for them and they look up to

you. I'm glad you're such a great kiddo! c'mere and gimme a kiss and a giant

hug. i love you so much.