Nada exposes terrorist plot...

[Guest guest]

I've been mostly NC with Nada for about a year now since I moved out on my own.

She occasionally sends my long drama filled text messages trying to Hoover me,

but so far I just respond with one or two words answers. I try not to engage

her. This last one she sent me though is just so ridiculous I don't even know

how to process it. She apparently went to this Muslim convention (I have no idea

why, she says she's Christian and is pretty negative towards any other

religions) with a Pakistani friend she's known for a couple years. A few days

later she sends me this:

" I was inadvertently invited to [convention] with [Pakistani friend]. While in

the parking lot, she told me three times of three different Taliban groups

coming to this gathering. Later, I looked the names up on Wikipedia and sure

enough, they were some of the more ruthless tribes and leaders. I called

Homeland Security, who called the FBI, who talked with me under cover today.

They thought it strange for an American speaker, who's a self-proclaimed

atheist, to be invited and promoted to these kind of meetings [not sure who

she's talking about here. some guy speaking there I guess.] He's supposedly an

international writer and lover of Pakistan. This ordeal came push to shove, and

I had to confront [friend], and repeated what I heard her say; all the while

listening to her deny it and then wondering why she did. The FBI asked me for

her phone # and said they've got my back and will call me back in a week. I feel

like crud. I've always loved [friend], but her love and loyalties lie elsewhere.

I'm not a victim, & I have peace. I just feel like I need to be more vigilant! "

I didn't know wtf I'm supposed to say to that, so I just said " Huh. " She didn't

miss a beat, kept right on going:

" I'm glad the truth finally came out. [Then she talks about something else

unimportant and completely unrelated]. As you can imagine, your Dad's not happy

with any of this. He think I heard wrong, blahdy blahdy blah. I feel too scared

not to tell someone in authority that can investigate this mess & protect our

family and nation, even if it costs me everything. "

I didn't respond to the second part. I have no idea if she actually heard

something or not, but I feel bad for her friend. I've met the woman and her

family and she's very sweet. The fact that Nada went back and told her friend

what she'd done afterward makes me think she's probably just stirring up drama.

Though I admit it's a hell of a good story to make people feel sorry for you or

admire your " sacrifice. " Is it wrong that I'm hoping nothing comes of the

investigation by the feds and they catch her in a lie? It would be satisfying to

let her get in trouble (finally!) over such needless drama. Then again, she

might be telling the truth.

I don't really feel the need to do anything about the situation, so why does it

still bother me so much?

[Guest guest]

The drama, the sudden turning on people our BPD mother says she loves, and

not-so-normal bids for attention bother us because somewhere deep inside us we

long to have a normal, loving relationship with a sane and caring parent. Even

as adults, we long for the mother who could never really nurture us. We are

still lost and looking for what normal people take for granted. It's not fair,

but this is the hand we were dealt and we have to play it the best we can.

Warm hugs and good wishes for peace in your day,

MB

Nada exposes terrorist plot...

I've been mostly NC with Nada for about a year now since I moved out on my

own. She occasionally sends my long drama filled text messages trying to Hoover

me, but so far I just respond with one or two words answers. I try not to engage

her. This last one she sent me though is just so ridiculous I don't even know

how to process it. She apparently went to this Muslim convention (I have no idea

why, she says she's Christian and is pretty negative towards any other

religions) with a Pakistani friend she's known for a couple years. A few days

later she sends me this:

" I was inadvertently invited to [convention] with [Pakistani friend]. While in

the parking lot, she told me three times of three different Taliban groups

coming to this gathering. Later, I looked the names up on Wikipedia and sure

enough, they were some of the more ruthless tribes and leaders. I called

Homeland Security, who called the FBI, who talked with me under cover today.

They thought it strange for an American speaker, who's a self-proclaimed

atheist, to be invited and promoted to these kind of meetings [not sure who

she's talking about here. some guy speaking there I guess.] He's supposedly an

international writer and lover of Pakistan. This ordeal came push to shove, and

I had to confront [friend], and repeated what I heard her say; all the while

listening to her deny it and then wondering why she did. The FBI asked me for

her phone # and said they've got my back and will call me back in a week. I feel

like crud. I've always loved [friend], but her love and loyalties lie elsewhere.

I'm not a victim, & I have peace. I just feel like I need to be more vigilant! "

I didn't know wtf I'm supposed to say to that, so I just said " Huh. " She

didn't miss a beat, kept right on going:

" I'm glad the truth finally came out. [Then she talks about something else

unimportant and completely unrelated]. As you can imagine, your Dad's not happy

with any of this. He think I heard wrong, blahdy blahdy blah. I feel too scared

not to tell someone in authority that can investigate this mess & protect our

family and nation, even if it costs me everything. "

I didn't respond to the second part. I have no idea if she actually heard

something or not, but I feel bad for her friend. I've met the woman and her

family and she's very sweet. The fact that Nada went back and told her friend

what she'd done afterward makes me think she's probably just stirring up drama.

Though I admit it's a hell of a good story to make people feel sorry for you or

admire your " sacrifice. " Is it wrong that I'm hoping nothing comes of the

investigation by the feds and they catch her in a lie? It would be satisfying to

let her get in trouble (finally!) over such needless drama. Then again, she

might be telling the truth.

I don't really feel the need to do anything about the situation, so why does

it still bother me so much?

[Guest guest]

Nada drama! They sure do love to create as much drama as

possible, don't they? I wonder if she really called Homeland

Security at all. The story sounds like it was made up by someone

with no clue how things work. I imagine that claiming to have

called them makes her feel important. My nada seems to really

enjoy telling people things that make them think she has

connections to people and things that are important. Being

connected to the capture of terrorists certainly sounds

important.

Perhaps the situation bothers you because she's stirring things

up and causing trouble for a friend who doesn't deserve it and

that reminds you of the things she's done to you? Or maybe

you're just sick of her tales of woe and all the drama

associated with them?

At 10:14 PM 11/11/2012 sunehri71 wrote:

>I've been mostly NC with Nada for about a year now since I

>moved out on my own. She occasionally sends my long drama

>filled text messages trying to Hoover me, but so far I just

>respond with one or two words answers. I try not to engage her.

>This last one she sent me though is just so ridiculous I don't

>even know how to process it. She apparently went to this Muslim

>convention (I have no idea why, she says she's Christian and is

>pretty negative towards any other religions) with a Pakistani

>friend she's known for a couple years. A few days later she

>sends me this:

>

> " I was inadvertently invited to [convention] with [Pakistani

>friend]. While in the parking lot, she told me three times of

>three different Taliban groups coming to this gathering. Later,

>I looked the names up on Wikipedia and sure enough, they were

>some of the more ruthless tribes and leaders. I called Homeland

>Security, who called the FBI, who talked with me under cover

>today. They thought it strange for an American speaker, who's a

>self-proclaimed atheist, to be invited and promoted to these

>kind of meetings [not sure who she's talking about here. some

>guy speaking there I guess.] He's supposedly an international

>writer and lover of Pakistan. This ordeal came push to shove,

>and I had to confront [friend], and repeated what I heard her

>say; all the while listening to her deny it and then wondering

>why she did. The FBI asked me for her phone # and said they've

>got my back and will call me back in a week. I feel like crud.

>I've always loved [friend], but her love and loyalties lie

>elsewhere. I'm not a victim, & I have peace. I just feel like I

>need to be more vigilant! "

>

>I didn't know wtf I'm supposed to say to that, so I just said

> " Huh. " She didn't miss a beat, kept right on going:

>

> " I'm glad the truth finally came out. [Then she talks about

>something else unimportant and completely unrelated]. As you

>can imagine, your Dad's not happy with any of this. He think I

>heard wrong, blahdy blahdy blah. I feel too scared not to tell

>someone in authority that can investigate this mess & protect

>our family and nation, even if it costs me everything. "

>

>I didn't respond to the second part. I have no idea if she

>actually heard something or not, but I feel bad for her friend.

>I've met the woman and her family and she's very sweet. The

>fact that Nada went back and told her friend what she'd done

>afterward makes me think she's probably just stirring up drama.

>Though I admit it's a hell of a good story to make people feel

>sorry for you or admire your " sacrifice. " Is it wrong that I'm

>hoping nothing comes of the investigation by the feds and they

>catch her in a lie? It would be satisfying to let her get in

>trouble (finally!) over such needless drama. Then again, she

>might be telling the truth.

>

>I don't really feel the need to do anything about the

>situation, so why does it still bother me so much?

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

My Nada did similar stuff in late 2001. She told me she called some kind of

agency to report suspicious neighbors. Really! The real kicker was when she told

me she saw a man in an unmarked car in the neighborhood who looked like some

kind of agent. She said he must have been checking out her info because he

waved/saluted her!!!!

Talk about cuckoo CRAZY!

>

> I've been mostly NC with Nada for about a year now since I moved out on my

own. She occasionally sends my long drama filled text messages trying to Hoover

me, but so far I just respond with one or two words answers. I try not to engage

her. This last one she sent me though is just so ridiculous I don't even know

how to process it. She apparently went to this Muslim convention (I have no idea

why, she says she's Christian and is pretty negative towards any other

religions) with a Pakistani friend she's known for a couple years. A few days

later she sends me this:

>

> " I was inadvertently invited to [convention] with [Pakistani friend]. While in

the parking lot, she told me three times of three different Taliban groups

coming to this gathering. Later, I looked the names up on Wikipedia and sure

enough, they were some of the more ruthless tribes and leaders. I called

Homeland Security, who called the FBI, who talked with me under cover today.

They thought it strange for an American speaker, who's a self-proclaimed

atheist, to be invited and promoted to these kind of meetings [not sure who

she's talking about here. some guy speaking there I guess.] He's supposedly an

international writer and lover of Pakistan. This ordeal came push to shove, and

I had to confront [friend], and repeated what I heard her say; all the while

listening to her deny it and then wondering why she did. The FBI asked me for

her phone # and said they've got my back and will call me back in a week. I feel

like crud. I've always loved [friend], but her love and loyalties lie elsewhere.

I'm not a victim, & I have peace. I just feel like I need to be more vigilant! "

>

> I didn't know wtf I'm supposed to say to that, so I just said " Huh. " She

didn't miss a beat, kept right on going:

>

> " I'm glad the truth finally came out. [Then she talks about something else

unimportant and completely unrelated]. As you can imagine, your Dad's not happy

with any of this. He think I heard wrong, blahdy blahdy blah. I feel too scared

not to tell someone in authority that can investigate this mess & protect our

family and nation, even if it costs me everything. "

>

> I didn't respond to the second part. I have no idea if she actually heard

something or not, but I feel bad for her friend. I've met the woman and her

family and she's very sweet. The fact that Nada went back and told her friend

what she'd done afterward makes me think she's probably just stirring up drama.

Though I admit it's a hell of a good story to make people feel sorry for you or

admire your " sacrifice. " Is it wrong that I'm hoping nothing comes of the

investigation by the feds and they catch her in a lie? It would be satisfying to

let her get in trouble (finally!) over such needless drama. Then again, she

might be telling the truth.

>

> I don't really feel the need to do anything about the situation, so why does

it still bother me so much?

>

[Guest guest]

YeP

Yep!! Same here! My mother is constantly harrassing the police over stupid

stuff. All of my life everything was always some convaluted conspiracy

theory. cy theory. People openly make fun of her, calling her

" Columbo " ...she just gets this stupid grin on her face and beams with pride

saying. That's right!! Nobody can pull a fast one on me! I'm one tough

cookie and Columbo always gets his man, so nobody better mess with me!!

People laugh right in her face and she is clueless. A day after we moved

out she called the police THREE times...wanting them to " sweep the house

for bugs " . She was just POSITIVE that we planted cameras and recording

equipment all over her house! When nothing turned up she would call me at 1

or 2 in the morning demanding. " Where are they?? Tell me!! If you don't

tell me then I am really going to get you!! " The crazy moment that ended it

all was when she called someone in her house and to send the

police....quick! Well the freaking cavalry arrived, guns drawn as she

explained no..no...there isn't a actual person...it was a spirit that

sent to spy on her....she found an old piece of inscence under an old

radiator and waved it in their face screaming " I have proof!! Witches use

these!! She is a witch!! " The police just got frustrated....shared a few

choice words with my father, then called me sounding very embarrassed and

defeated and in a monatone voice said " I REALLY apologize for bothering

you, but are you or anyone you know practicing witchcraft to harass your

mother? .... if so then please stop...have a good day...and again I am

sorry to bother you ma'am " and she stopped. But as late as last week my

daughter said my mother was still obsessing over us planting bugs in her

house. The only thing she watches is Law and Order ...court shows like

Judge Judy and yep, you guessed it.....old seasons of Columbo that someone

gave her as a gift. I can't understand why the police haven't had her put

on 72 hour psychological hold. I have a feeling that maybe the cop that

talked to my father threatened to if she didn't stop misusing 911. Funny on

one level but so sad on another.

~~Bunny

>

>

> My Nada did similar stuff in late 2001. She told me she called some kind

of agency to report suspicious neighbors. Really! The real kicker was when

she told me she saw a man in an unmarked car in the neighborhood who looked

like some kind of agent. She said he must have been checking out her info

because he waved/saluted her!!!!

>

> Talk about cuckoo CRAZY!

>

>

>>

>> I've been mostly NC with Nada for about a year now since I moved out on

my own. She occasionally sends my long drama filled text messages trying to

Hoover me, but so far I just respond with one or two words answers. I try

not to engage her. This last one she sent me though is just so ridiculous I

don't even know how to process it. She apparently went to this Muslim

convention (I have no idea why, she says she's Christian and is pretty

negative towards any other religions) with a Pakistani friend she's known

for a couple years. A few days later she sends me this:

>>

>> " I was inadvertently invited to [convention] with [Pakistani friend].

While in the parking lot, she told me three times of three different

Taliban groups coming to this gathering. Later, I looked the names up on

Wikipedia and sure enough, they were some of the more ruthless tribes and

leaders. I called Homeland Security, who called the FBI, who talked with me

under cover today. They thought it strange for an American speaker, who's a

self-proclaimed atheist, to be invited and promoted to these kind of

meetings [not sure who she's talking about here. some guy speaking there I

guess.] He's supposedly an international writer and lover of Pakistan. This

ordeal came push to shove, and I had to confront [friend], and repeated

what I heard her say; all the while listening to her deny it and then

wondering why she did. The FBI asked me for her phone # and said they've

got my back and will call me back in a week. I feel like crud. I've always

loved [friend], but her love and loyalties lie elsewhere. I'm not a victim,

& I have peace. I just feel like I need to be more vigilant! "

>>

>> I didn't know wtf I'm supposed to say to that, so I just said " Huh. " She

didn't miss a beat, kept right on going:

>>

>> " I'm glad the truth finally came out. [Then she talks about something

else unimportant and completely unrelated]. As you can imagine, your Dad's

not happy with any of this. He think I heard wrong, blahdy blahdy blah. I

feel too scared not to tell someone in authority that can investigate this

mess & protect our family and nation, even if it costs me everything. "

>>

>> I didn't respond to the second part. I have no idea if she actually

heard something or not, but I feel bad for her friend. I've met the woman

and her family and she's very sweet. The fact that Nada went back and told

her friend what she'd done afterward makes me think she's probably just

stirring up drama. Though I admit it's a hell of a good story to make

people feel sorry for you or admire your " sacrifice. " Is it wrong that I'm

hoping nothing comes of the investigation by the feds and they catch her in

a lie? It would be satisfying to let her get in trouble (finally!) over

such needless drama. Then again, she might be telling the truth.

>>

>> I don't really feel the need to do anything about the situation, so why

does it still bother me so much?

>>

>

>

--

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

My dad said he also called the Homeland people to let them know she's nuts.

Doesn't think anything will come of it. He also contacted her T about it. I wish

something helpful could come of that but I don't see how. Either the T ignores

it and does nothing, or suspects maybe Nada is not living in reality and does

try to do something and Nada dumps her to find a new T. Either way, nobody wins.

Had to fight myself down from feeling hopeful about the T thing at first, then I

realized I'm just still wishing for something to happen that will never happen.

________________________________

To: " WTOAdultChildren1 " WTOAdultChildren1 >

Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 8:55 AM

Subject: Re: Nada exposes terrorist plot...

YeP

Yep!! Same here! My mother is constantly harrassing the police over stupid

stuff. All of my life everything was always some convaluted conspiracy

theory. cy theory. People openly make fun of her, calling her

" Columbo " ...she just gets this stupid grin on her face and beams with pride

saying. That's right!! Nobody can pull a fast one on me! I'm one tough

cookie and Columbo always gets his man, so nobody better mess with me!!

People laugh right in her face and she is clueless. A day after we moved

out she called the police THREE times...wanting them to " sweep the house

for bugs " . She was just POSITIVE that we planted cameras and recording

equipment all over her house! When nothing turned up she would call me at 1

or 2 in the morning demanding. " Where are they?? Tell me!! If you don't

tell me then I am really going to get you!! " The crazy moment that ended it

all was when she called someone in her house and to send the

police....quick! Well the freaking cavalry arrived, guns drawn as she

explained no..no...there isn't a actual person...it was a spirit that

sent to spy on her....she found an old piece of inscence under an old

radiator and waved it in their face screaming " I have proof!! Witches use

these!! She is a witch!! " The police just got frustrated....shared a few

choice words with my father, then called me sounding very embarrassed and

defeated and in a monatone voice said " I REALLY apologize for bothering

you, but are you or anyone you know practicing witchcraft to harass your

mother?  .... if so then please stop...have a good day...and again I am

sorry to bother you ma'am " and she stopped. But as late as last week my

daughter said my mother was still obsessing over us planting bugs in her

house. The only thing she watches is Law and Order ...court shows like

Judge Judy and yep, you guessed it.....old seasons of Columbo that someone

gave her as a gift. I can't understand why the police haven't had her put

on 72 hour psychological hold. I have a feeling that maybe the cop that

talked to my father threatened to if she didn't stop misusing 911. Funny on

one level but so sad on another.

~~Bunny

[Guest guest]

It could be she did make it all up, except for talking to her friend. I'm sure

she really did that part. I hope if she did call that her friend's family isn't

going to go through a lot of crap just for a crazy woman.

Nice for Nada that she gets to be important and self-sacrificing (hah!) at the

same time, isn't it? It makes me mad that I know anyone else who doesn't know

her can hear the story and automatically believe it. She's tied up all the

people who could discount her (nobody else was there, the feds wouldn't talk to

random people about it anyway, and who'd believe a person supposedly connected

to terrorists?). I wonder if she planned it like that on purpose. It's hard for

me to imagine her thinking that far ahead. My Nada typically does not do well in

strategy and logic, lol.

But it does really suck that there's another addition to nada's " body count. "

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 9:32 AM

Subject: Re: Nada exposes terrorist plot...

 

Nada drama! They sure do love to create as much drama as

possible, don't they? I wonder if she really called Homeland

Security at all. The story sounds like it was made up by someone

with no clue how things work. I imagine that claiming to have

called them makes her feel important. My nada seems to really

enjoy telling people things that make them think she has

connections to people and things that are important. Being

connected to the capture of terrorists certainly sounds

important.

Perhaps the situation bothers you because she's stirring things

up and causing trouble for a friend who doesn't deserve it and

that reminds you of the things she's done to you? Or maybe

you're just sick of her tales of woe and all the drama

associated with them?

[Guest guest]

Pathetic as it is, I'm sure you're right. I've been a part of this group for a

couple years now, known about BPD for a year longer, and it's still the most

basic things that I keep coming back to. Nada is messed up. Nada can't be fixed.

I have no real mom, and neither do my siblings. My dad married somebody he now

knows it

totally whack, but still won't leave.

Don't get my hopes up.

Don't get close.

Don't engage.

It sounds simple; it's anything but.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 12:14 AM

Subject: Re: Nada exposes terrorist plot...

 

The drama, the sudden turning on people our BPD mother says she loves, and

not-so-normal bids for attention bother us because somewhere deep inside us we

long to have a normal, loving relationship with a sane and caring parent. Even

as adults, we long for the mother who could never really nurture us. We are

still lost and looking for what normal people take for granted. It's not fair,

but this is the hand we were dealt and we have to play it the best we can.

Warm hugs and good wishes for peace in your day,

MB

[Guest guest]

Wow, that's way more intense than my nada's paranoia. Mine keeps telling me how

things go missing in her house, that someone is definitely breaking in and

taking or moving things around (even with her right there, doors locked, an

alarm system and a yappy dog). She said she hears footsteps in the attic area

(we checked, nothing is disturbed). She thought they were coming through her

ceiling in the shower. I had to remove the light panels and show her that the

ceiling was still intact. Recently she said she called the police and I said

that was fine. Monday she waited and waited for them to come take a report. Then

she told me, well maybe they aren't coming today. (I'm not sure she ever

called.) She got that googly eyed look and warned me that the police were going

to investigate everybody. Ooooh, like I'm supposed to be afraid? I told her it

was just fine with me.

Why do BP folks enjoy all the drama? Perhaps because the attention is on them

for a short time? I do wish her doctor would come out of his stupor and have her

evaluated. She should not be living on her own but I can't/won't be at her house

every day. Twice a week is more than enough.

>

> YeP

> Yep!! Same here! My mother is constantly harrassing the police over stupid

> stuff. All of my life everything was always some convaluted conspiracy

> theory. cy theory. People openly make fun of her, calling her

> " Columbo " ...she just gets this stupid grin on her face and beams with pride

> saying. That's right!! Nobody can pull a fast one on me! I'm one tough

> cookie and Columbo always gets his man, so nobody better mess with me!!

> People laugh right in her face and she is clueless. A day after we moved

> out she called the police THREE times...wanting them to " sweep the house

> for bugs " . She was just POSITIVE that we planted cameras and recording

> equipment all over her house! When nothing turned up she would call me at 1

> or 2 in the morning demanding. " Where are they?? Tell me!! If you don't

> tell me then I am really going to get you!! " The crazy moment that ended it

> all was when she called someone in her house and to send the

> police....quick! Well the freaking cavalry arrived, guns drawn as she

> explained no..no...there isn't a actual person...it was a spirit that

> sent to spy on her....she found an old piece of inscence under an old

> radiator and waved it in their face screaming " I have proof!! Witches use

> these!! She is a witch!! " The police just got frustrated....shared a few

> choice words with my father, then called me sounding very embarrassed and

> defeated and in a monatone voice said " I REALLY apologize for bothering

> you, but are you or anyone you know practicing witchcraft to harass your

> mother? .... if so then please stop...have a good day...and again I am

> sorry to bother you ma'am " and she stopped. But as late as last week my

> daughter said my mother was still obsessing over us planting bugs in her

> house. The only thing she watches is Law and Order ...court shows like

> Judge Judy and yep, you guessed it.....old seasons of Columbo that someone

> gave her as a gift. I can't understand why the police haven't had her put

> on 72 hour psychological hold. I have a feeling that maybe the cop that

> talked to my father threatened to if she didn't stop misusing 911. Funny on

> one level but so sad on another.

>

> ~~Bunny

[Guest guest]

My nada doesn't want to save the world via terrorist plots but she does want

to save the world by writing a Bible study of some kind. She feels she is

being directed by God to write something and is very secretive about what it

is but likes to tell me how many hours she spends with it researching

things. The bad thing is that when I say something to her about how I feel

she responds that God has given her " wisdom on the matter " and leaves it at

that instead of asking me more about it. (Not that she cares). My nada is

probably less abusive and less in-your-face crazy than a lot of the posters

here but I just don't have the time and energy to figure her out or redirect

her behaviors or analyze why she is saying what she is saying. I've been

trained so well to jump to emotions and defend myself or try to make her

happy that when I found out about BPD I stopped all verbal communication

just to let the FOG clear. Now, I'm totally NC and frankly I'm afraid to go

back to talking to her simply because of the hold she has on me and her

ability to belittle me into a child-like attitude when I'm around her.

ly, I want to see who I can be without her. I may be able to deal with

her much better now that I am more equipped with BPD, so is it selfish that

I'm running and hiding instead??

[Guest guest]

,

Not selfish at all. If you feel better without her, why bother?

On Wed, Nov 14, 2012 at 3:26 PM, Renslow jwjrenslow@...>wrote:

> **

>

>

>

>

> My nada doesn't want to save the world via terrorist plots but she does

> want

> to save the world by writing a Bible study of some kind. She feels she is

> being directed by God to write something and is very secretive about what

> it

> is but likes to tell me how many hours she spends with it researching

> things. The bad thing is that when I say something to her about how I feel

> she responds that God has given her " wisdom on the matter " and leaves it at

> that instead of asking me more about it. (Not that she cares). My nada is

> probably less abusive and less in-your-face crazy than a lot of the posters

> here but I just don't have the time and energy to figure her out or

> redirect

> her behaviors or analyze why she is saying what she is saying. I've been

> trained so well to jump to emotions and defend myself or try to make her

> happy that when I found out about BPD I stopped all verbal communication

> just to let the FOG clear. Now, I'm totally NC and frankly I'm afraid to go

> back to talking to her simply because of the hold she has on me and her

> ability to belittle me into a child-like attitude when I'm around her.

> ly, I want to see who I can be without her. I may be able to deal with

> her much better now that I am more equipped with BPD, so is it selfish that

> I'm running and hiding instead??

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I made the mistake of reconnecting with my NADA after a long period of NC

after my father passed and it was a mistake. Nothing changed with her and

it never will. Going back will only set yourself up for more of the same.

My opinion is to stay away as long as possible. I wish I had and realize

now that I am probably going to have to go NC again in the near future.

Tracey

[Guest guest]

I feel for your worry and your dilemma. In the last 18 months or so of her

life, my nada became increasingly paranoid and delusional (like yours, my nada

also believed that people were somehow sneaking into her home and stealing her

stuff.) Nada began hallucinating also and began calling the police rather often

to come and deal with the " circus people " that nada believed were breaking in,

stealing from her and spying on her.

As in your nada's situation, my nada's own psychiatrist was being rather

conservative; he seemed reluctant to issue a definitive diagnosis of senile

dementia, according to my Sister who was still in contact with our nada

throughout this whole thing.

He gave her a tentative diagnosis of senile dementia and started her on

anti-psychotic meds but it took the hold-and-evaluation by a different set of

doctors at the psychiatric hospital before the formal senile dementia diagnosis

was given.

Its just a truly sad, frustrating and anxiety-soaked situation to have an

elderly parent who has borderline pd AND begins showing the signs of dementia

as well. Sister described our nada's decline into senile dementia as being

just like her regular bpd behaviors but much more intense & frequent; the main

difference was that her bpd behaviors were being displayed to other people,

openly: not just directed at Sister in private. The new behaviors specific to

senile dementia that nada had never expressed before, were the increasing

memory loss and the hallucinations.

-Annie

>

> Wow, that's way more intense than my nada's paranoia. Mine keeps telling me

how things go missing in her house, that someone is definitely breaking in and

taking or moving things around (even with her right there, doors locked, an

alarm system and a yappy dog). She said she hears footsteps in the attic area

(we checked, nothing is disturbed). She thought they were coming through her

ceiling in the shower. I had to remove the light panels and show her that the

ceiling was still intact. Recently she said she called the police and I said

that was fine. Monday she waited and waited for them to come take a report. Then

she told me, well maybe they aren't coming today. (I'm not sure she ever

called.) She got that googly eyed look and warned me that the police were going

to investigate everybody. Ooooh, like I'm supposed to be afraid? I told her it

was just fine with me.

>

> Why do BP folks enjoy all the drama? Perhaps because the attention is on them

for a short time? I do wish her doctor would come out of his stupor and have her

evaluated. She should not be living on her own but I can't/won't be at her house

every day. Twice a week is more than enough.

[Guest guest]

Thank you. I always appreciate your comments. Especially nice to hear from you

today since I'm feeling a bit of anxiety. For some reason I'm nervous about

making the Saturday phone call. She was quite pleasant on the phone Wed. to my

husband (he shares the phone calls with me). But Thurs. am she called and

cancelled my visit. Not unusual and she was fairly nice on the phone. But when

she starts canceling, it usually means she's gearing up for a big blow up. Plus

Thanksgiving is coming and she tends be to mean and angry around the holidays.

So today my stomach is flipping around.

I had an appt. with my counselor but she got sick and had to reschedule. It's

not until after the holiday. Trying to put on my big girl panties and prepare

for nada's response to my call. She could be " normal " or she could blow up. It's

the unexpected that tears me up.

> >

> > Wow, that's way more intense than my nada's paranoia. Mine keeps telling me

how things go missing in her house, that someone is definitely breaking in and

taking or moving things around (even with her right there, doors locked, an

alarm system and a yappy dog). She said she hears footsteps in the attic area

(we checked, nothing is disturbed). She thought they were coming through her

ceiling in the shower. I had to remove the light panels and show her that the

ceiling was still intact. Recently she said she called the police and I said

that was fine. Monday she waited and waited for them to come take a report. Then

she told me, well maybe they aren't coming today. (I'm not sure she ever

called.) She got that googly eyed look and warned me that the police were going

to investigate everybody. Ooooh, like I'm supposed to be afraid? I told her it

was just fine with me.

> >

> > Why do BP folks enjoy all the drama? Perhaps because the attention is on

them for a short time? I do wish her doctor would come out of his stupor and

have her evaluated. She should not be living on her own but I can't/won't be at

her house every day. Twice a week is more than enough.

>