Nature, Nurture, or Does it even matter?

November 12, 2012

I'm dealing with the " echos " of my Light Bulb Moment and figuring out what

reality really is. Making sene of the senseless is an impossible task. Still,

there are questions worth asking. The first is:

" What caused my mother to present with HF BPD? "

Possible Causation:

1.. Mother was a highly intelligent (valadictorian of her class) yet very

sensitive young woman. While she could realize what was going on, she was not

always equipped to cope.

2.. Mother was raised by an ill-tempered father who emotionally, physically

and sexually abused his children.

3.. Mother's mother was born in the midst of poverty and disfunction. She was

very punitive twoard her children and did not step in even were she became aware

of the actions of their father.

4.. Mother was raised on a dairy farm outside a small Southern town. There

were few people to turn to and fewer oppurtunities for enrichment.

5.. Mother was raised in a very conservative, deeply Catholic household. Guilt

was something everyone was SUPPOSED to feel.

6.. Mother's only outlets were reading, movies, and acting in school plays.

She wanted to live the lives other people had.

7.. While mother won a scholarshil to the local women's college, after just

one year, she was " honored " to be chosen to go and teach in the biggest city in

the state at a time of teacher shortage.

8.. Mother was married by age 20 and had a daughter by age 21.

9.. Mother's 1st husband, my father, was physically abusive, controlling, and

later diagnosed as cinically depressed. Refused to stay on medication.

10.. Mother was diagnosed in the mid-19760's shortly before her first divorce.

She briefly stated in treatment and then began heavy drinking, an affair,

stopped attending church, and began to abuse laxatives in an effort to reduce

her weight.

Will I ever know what " pulled the trigger " or was it all of the above?

MB

November 12, 2012

You'll never know, but in the end, I don't think it matters.

Whatever caused it, she didn't ask for it and you can't change

it.

From everything I've seen and read, chances are high that it

was some combination of genetics and environment. Some people

just have bad genes and some people may get so severely abused

as children that they end up with BPD, but it looks to me like

the majority of them fall somewhere in the middle. They started

out with bad genes and were either mistreated, or they suffered

from something else like poverty or the death of a parent at a

young age, or they were inherently so sensitive that normal

things felt abusive to them. My nada's father died when she was

about 13 and they lived in poverty after that. I'm sure those

things were quite traumatic for her. The stories I've heard

include her throwing massive tantrums to control the rest of the

family even before those things happened though so I think the

things that happened when she was a teen just made what was

already there worse.

At 07:05 PM 11/12/2012 Rico and Beth wrote:

>I'm dealing with the " echos " of my Light Bulb Moment and

>figuring out what reality really is. Making sene of the

>senseless is an impossible task. Still, there are questions

>worth asking. The first is:

>

> " What caused my mother to present with HF BPD? "

>

>Possible Causation:

> 1.. Mother was a highly intelligent (valadictorian of her

> class) yet very sensitive young woman. While she could realize

> what was going on, she was not always equipped to cope.

> 2.. Mother was raised by an ill-tempered father who

> emotionally, physically and sexually abused his children.

> 3.. Mother's mother was born in the midst of poverty and

> disfunction. She was very punitive twoard her children and did

> not step in even were she became aware of the actions of their

> father.

> 4.. Mother was raised on a dairy farm outside a small

> Southern town. There were few people to turn to and fewer

> oppurtunities for enrichment.

> 5.. Mother was raised in a very conservative, deeply

> Catholic household. Guilt was something everyone was SUPPOSED

> to feel.

> 6.. Mother's only outlets were reading, movies, and acting

> in school plays. She wanted to live the lives other people had.

> 7.. While mother won a scholarshil to the local women's

> college, after just one year, she was " honored " to be chosen

> to go and teach in the biggest city in the state at a time of

> teacher shortage.

> 8.. Mother was married by age 20 and had a daughter by age

> 21.

> 9.. Mother's 1st husband, my father, was physically abusive,

> controlling, and later diagnosed as cinically depressed.

> Refused to stay on medication.

> 10.. Mother was diagnosed in the mid-19760's shortly before

> her first divorce. She briefly stated in treatment and then

> began heavy drinking, an affair, stopped attending church, and

> began to abuse laxatives in an effort to reduce her weight.

>Will I ever know what " pulled the trigger " or was it all of the

>above?

>

>MB

--

Katrina

November 13, 2012

Katrina,

This helped more than you will know. The first question from her estranged

brother was, " She used to toss a fit and get a whipping every day. Is she still