Re: Hi (reply to new member Adam)

[Guest guest]

Hi Adam,

Until you can find a way to be self-supporting so that you can move out of your

parents' home, you will be at a distinct disadvantage regarding establishing

personal boundaries with your bpd mother and enabling father.

Right now, your parents have all the power and they're treating you like a

dependent minor child, so I agree with you: moving out is your #1 priority.

Until then, my suggestion is to utilize the technique called " Medium Chill " .

You can read the short article about it at post #132289 of this Group. Its

basically about disengaging emotionally from your bpd parents and being bland

but polite and non-reactive to any attempts at engaging you in a fight or

confrontation.

And I suggest that you spend as little actual time in your parents' home as

possible; its just a place to get a shower and sleep, and contribute your share

of the chores. Otherwise, be at school or at work or at a friend's house or at

the gym or at the library, or just outside doing some activity that takes you

out of their house.

Emotional distance and physical distance are the key; you are at the beginning

of your journey toward gaining your adult power. I think it will help you to

start reading about borderline pd also; knowledge is power and its empowering.

There is a reading list link at the home site of this Group.

I hope that helps!

-Annie

>

> Hi my name is Adam and I really think my mom has BPD. Something has been up

with her for the last few years. I'm not sure if it was my sister getting

married and moving out that changed her but she isn't the same. She is sending

emails to my friends and boyfriend telling them that I am an angry person and

they are the reasons why. Tonight she told me she wanted to send me to a fat

camp. I'm 32 and she tells me this. I said no and then she runs and emails them.

She is trying to push my best friend and boyfriend away from me. Even told my

boyfriend that she used her nephew to look up his past. I am worried of what she

will do. I still live at home which I know is problem number 1 but I'm trying to

do that, but in the meantime she is telling people she is going to have me

admitted. My sister who just had a baby goes through the same thing. My mom says

her husband is a drunk and then tells me that her baby doesn't get enough love

so I turn around and tell them that which she denies. My dad never wants to get

involve because he doesn't want to deal with her. She constantly says to me if I

argue with her that she is such a horrible parent. I don't know what to do.

Please help.

> Thank you, Adam

>